


A Chance to Dream

by Pentimento



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, it's so fluffy I'm gonna die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-07-25 07:55:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pentimento/pseuds/Pentimento
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to chance and a small catalyst, Carol Aird and Therese Belivet find that their worlds collide. Will dreams come true?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Daisy

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Ligeria, there will be some editing done from here on out. I appreciate it!

 

  
"Yet it is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the submerged truth sometimes comes to the top." -Virginia Woolf

 

Therese scanned the magazine covers placed strategically at eye level. Actresses, models, and perfectly beautiful women adorned the covers of each one. _Photoshopped,_ she thought to herself. _No one looks like that._ She shifted her weight to the other foot. Her eyes scanned over the multitudes of gum and candy bars intended to entice the bored and impulsive shoppers as they waited in line. She mentally reminded herself to fold the clothes in the dryer tonight.

Reaching for a plastic divider, she placed her salad on the newly available space on the conveyor belt. She glanced toward the cashier who was scanning cartons of baby formula. Her eyes lingered on the remaining groceries on the belt in front of her: baby spinach, chicken breasts, three lemons, eggs, a pint of strawberries, make-up removal wipes, cashews, a romance novel, and a bottle of vodka. Her mind drifted off as she contemplated how personal each person's groceries were. They told a story. Send a hundred people into a store to buy ten items and they would never come out with the same things. People were all so different. Different tastes, different affinities. An infinite number of possibilities.

"Your birth date?"

The cashier's voice pulled her from her daydream. Therese watched as he slid the vodka into a thin paper bag and twisted the top to secure it. It was good vodka, she noted.

"Oh, uh...five-fourteen-eighty." A smoky voice replied, sounding distracted. The cashier punched the numbers.

Therese's head spun around toward the voice. She had never heard such an incredibly sweet sound. All available oxygen in the vicinity was sucked into oblivion when her eyes settled on the owner. She tried to swallow. Suddenly, it felt as though there was a vice crushing her sternum. She struggled to draw in a breath.

A tall, blonde woman with a large purse on one arm and an equally blonde baby perched on her opposite hip was trying to juggle the baby, the purse, and her wallet while attempting to swipe her credit card for the transaction. _She's beautiful...beyond beautiful,_ Therese thought. She was gorgeous in a Golden-Age-of-Hollywood sort of way. Therese stared, unable to look away. Her pulse pounded in her brain. She needed air. The woman attempted to secure a blonde lock of hair behind her ear. She hiked the baby up a little further on her hip as she entered her PIN on the keypad. The baby looked at Therese and flashed a smile featuring two front teeth. Therese melted when the clear blue eyes met hers and she couldn't help but smile back. The little girl, dressed in a yellow sundress with a large white daisy on front, continued to stare at her. Therese inhaled a deep and much-needed breath.

The woman slid her credit card back in her wallet and accepted the receipt with long, thin fingers and a thank you to the cashier. He started to bag the woman's groceries. Hands and arms full, she pulled her purse off her arm and set it on the edge of the counter so she could put her wallet and receipt inside. But as soon as she let go, something suddenly shifted inside the heavy purse. It tumbled from her grasp, its contents spilling to the floor.

"Shit!" The woman hiked the baby up on her hip once again and started to bend down. A lock of hair fell over one of her eyes.

"Here, let me help." Therese bent over and began gathering the closest items. Her fingers scooped up a lipstick, a teething ring, a tampon...

"You don't have to do that," the woman said sharply.

Therese snapped her head up to look at the woman and froze, the items still in her hands. The woman's eyes evenly met hers. She looked weary. _Her eyes,_ was all Therese's brain could process. The woman's eyes were the most gorgeous gray she'd ever seen. Therese couldn't tell if the woman was just embarrassed at the mishap, or if she really wanted Therese to stop touching her belongings, so Therese blushed profusely and broke eye contact. _What am I doing? And now what do I do?_ Embarrassed, she quickly dropped the items in the open purse on the floor and stood up and said, "Then let me hold her for you," gesturing to the baby.

"I'm sorry, but she's kind of a mama's girl..." the woman started to say as she shook her head, but before she could continue, the little girl held out her arms and lunged out for Therese, her pudgy cheeks breaking into big smile like before. Therese caught her and smiled back.

"Well, that's...n-new," the woman softly stammered as she somewhat reluctantly released the baby's legs. She looked at Therese with a look of wonder before slowly bending down to retrieve her belongings. Therese glanced at the cashier, who was staring at them. She pulled the baby closer and shrugged her shoulders at him. He finished bagging the woman's groceries and set the last two bags in her cart. He returned to the scanner and reached for Therese's salad. The baby found a handful of Therese's dark hair and she clung, but didn't pull. Her other thumb found its way to her mouth and she leaned her head against Therese's chest. Therese inhaled the sweet, clean smell of the little girl's curls.

"Five-ninety-three," the cashier told her as he rung up her salad. He couldn't have been older than 22 and yet already had the monotonous tone of someone thoroughly bored with life. "You wanna bag?"

"No, thank you," she replied as she pulled a ten dollar bill from her pocket. He unenthusiastically began to give her a bunch of ones for her change, but struggled to separate the crisp dollar bills. Therese was aware of the warmth and of the little body seeking haven against hers. It felt so comfortable, as if something had been missing before.

When she finally received her change and shoved the crisp bills unceremoniously into the pocket of her jeans, she realized the woman with the purse had finished picking up her things. She was leaning on her cart at the end of the counter and watching the two of them with her head cocked slightly to the side. Therese picked up her salad off the belt with her free hand.

"Want your receipt?" asked the cashier.

Therese looked at him. "No, thanks. You can toss it." She turned back around. The woman was smiling slightly.

"Here, let me help you." The exquisite woman took a step toward Therese and instead of reaching for the baby, she took the plastic salad container. The woman noticed the puzzled look that flashed across Therese's face and somewhat reluctantly asked, "Would you mind carrying her to my car? It's right outside. It's just that...she looks so...content." The woman smiled warmly. "She's almost asleep," she whispered quietly. She gazed adoringly at the little girl in Therese's arms, but there was something else in her expression that Therese couldn't put her finger on. The woman smiled and placed Therese's salad in the cart next to her purse, as if the answer was predetermined. Therese wondered if perhaps it was. A fleeting thought crossed her mind. _She's holding my salad hostage. _Amused, she shyly returned the smile.__

"Of course. I'd be happy to."

She looked down at her chest and the little girl's long blonde eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks in a failed effort to fight the oncoming sleep.

"Well. That's that." The woman smiled at Therese, a smile so pure and contagious that it startled Therese. "We're this way." The blonde woman casually flipped her hair over her shoulder and pushed the cart towards the door. Something deep inside Therese's chest flipped with it.

Therese gently placed her hand on the little girl's back and followed, almost in a trance, her eyes never leaving the woman before her. As they exited the store, the gentle, methodical rising and falling under her fingers told her that the little angel had succumbed to sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
"She did not want to move, or to speak. She wanted to rest, to lean, to dream. She felt very tired." -Virginia Woolf

 

Carol put the car in park and glanced in her rear view mirror. Rindy was making sounds with her lips and shaking her ring of plastic keys. _Happiness is so effortless when you're young,_ thought Carol morosely. She hated grocery shopping on a Friday evening in the city, but there wasn't enough food in the house to last through the weekend. Plus, she wanted something cold to drink on the way home. She liked this store. They had a nice selection, carried organic produce, and it was right by Rindy’s daycare. Pulling into a parking space just vacated, she hoped to make it a quick trip. She was exhausted and her heart wasn't in it. However, she hoped the Lincoln Tunnel traffic might subside while she shopped.

_Dammit,_ she thought. She'd have to carry Rindy while shopping. The quilted insert for the shopping cart was hanging in the laundry room at home. And she wasn't about to let Rindy sit in the cart without it when everything went into her mouth these days. "Let's go, my sweet girl," she said as she lifted the golden-haired child from her car seat. Swinging her purse onto her arm, she locked the car and headed toward the entrance to the store.

The store was busy, crowded with shoppers picking up last minute items for the weekend. Carol quickly picked up a few necessities, tried to come up with some ideas for dinner as she went along, and managed to push the cart and hold Rindy with her other arm without hitting any other shoppers. As she made her way toward the check stands, she picked up a bottle of vodka and sighed as she thought of the long weekend ahead. She chose a check-out line that only had one other person it it, and the elderly man was already paying.

With Rindy and her purse on one arm, she unloaded her groceries onto the conveyor belt. The young man working the register greeted her halfheartedly without making eye contact and began scanning her items. As he pushed the groceries across the scanner from left to right, Carol dug in her purse for her wallet. Using a manicured nail, she pulled out her credit card and slid it through the machine. She returned the card to its rightful place in her wallet and finished pushing the necessary buttons to complete the transaction. The register spit out an absurdly long receipt and the cashier folded it over and handed it to her. She set her purse on the edge of the counter so she could put the wallet and receipt inside, but the ever-powerful force of gravity won and it tumbled to the floor, scattering its contents.

"Shit," she said. _Fuck,_ she cursed in her head. Of course, there had to be someone waiting in line behind her, she noticed peripherally. She mentally swore again. Shifting Rindy higher up in her arm, she began to kneel down to clean up her personal items from the dirty floor, but the young woman behind her had already reached down and started collecting her things.

"You don't have to do that," she snapped, and immediately regretted it. The young woman shrank and hastily dropped the handful of things in her open purse. Carol felt agitated, no, rather...nervous. _Why am I so nervous?_

"Then let me hold her for you," the younger woman said standing, pulling her dark hair over one shoulder, and extending her hands toward Rindy. Carol started to explain her daughter's shyness toward other people when Rindy smiled and lurched forward, both arms extended toward the woman and the woman reciprocated with a dimpled smile that made Carol suddenly feel like the sun just broken through the clouds. She watched as her daughter settled in comfortably against the young woman, so she slowly knelt down to gather her belongings.

Without really focusing on the miscellany strewn on the floor in front of her, she hurriedly scooped the mess back into her purse and stood up. Her groceries were bagged and in her cart. And her daughter was falling asleep holding on to the most beautiful creature Carol had ever seen. She happily stood there, completely transfixed and just watched.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
"We shall sink like swimmers just touching the ground with the tips of their toes." -Virginia Woolf

 

Carol lifted the last brown bag by its handles and placed it in the back of the car. Her purse and Therese's salad were the only items remaining in the cart. Therese stood silently to the side holding the sleeping child. The sun shone brightly and Therese angled her body to shade the child’s face from the sun's harsh rays.

"There," Carol emphatically stated, shutting the back of the car. She looked at Therese and the sleeping baby. "That's Rindy in your arms."

"Rindy," Therese repeated quietly. "It's a beautiful name...for a beautiful girl," she said looking at the angelic face. She looked up and the woman was staring at her intently. She was standing closer now, but making no move to take the baby.

"And your name?" the woman asked.

"Oh, it's Therese. Therese Belivet."

"Therese Belivet." She drew out the syllables in her low, breathy voice, her face turning demurely to the side. "It's lovely."

Therese's heart soared. "And you?" Therese held her breath as if the answer was the to the most important question in the world.

The woman inhaled, glanced down at Rindy and back up to Therese. "Carol Aird."

"Carol." Therese repeated it almost breathlessly and her face broke into a grin. She looked down at the ground.

"Well, Therese Belivet," Carol paused, raising her eyebrows, "how do I thank you?" Her eyes reflected the sky.

"You don't have to thank me. I didn't really do anything." Therese said, suddenly flushed. Her eyes darted nervously around.

"Of course you did. You're very kind. I don't take that for granted. And I'm sorry I snapped at you in there. Shopping when it's busy like this makes me nervous."

"That's alright. It always makes me nervous," Therese said with a wry smile.

Carol looked at her for what seemed an eternity. Therese shifted her feet and her eyes finally wandered to the ground. Carol picked up her purse from the cart and hung it over her forearm. "Chinese chicken?"

"Excuse me?" Therese's looked up from under scrunched eyebrows, not following.

"Chinese chicken salad. Is that your dinner?" Carol inquired, pointing to the salad in the cart.

"Oh, yes." Therese nodded, blushing again, slightly embarrassed. "I didn't feel like making dinner tonight. I'm a terrible cook and this was easy, so I stopped here to grab some dinner."

"I'm glad you did." Carol said quietly. "Let me make you dinner to thank you. I'm _not_ a terrible cook," she said grinning, “if I do say so myself.” She gave Therese a little wink.

"Oh, you don't have to go to that trouble," Therese started to protest, but Carol cut her off.

"It's no trouble. I have to eat dinner anyway and it would be nice to have some company." Carol put her hand on her hip. "Plus, the sunset is pretty from my place. So...would you?"

Therese's face broke into a smile. "Yes," and she slowly added, “Yes, I would." Her dimples appeared for far too brief of a moment.

Carol took a deep breath and stood slightly taller, with what looked like relief crossing her face. She scooped up the salad from the cart, stepped past Therese, and opened the door to the back seat. She leaned in and placed her purse on the floor and the salad on the seat next to the baby's car seat.

"Here," she said, withdrawing from the car and holding her hands out toward Therese. "My precious girl," she quietly whispered as she gently reached for the baby. Her hands and arms came into contact with Therese during the exchange and she was surprised at the softness of Carol's skin. Carol’s perfume washed over her. Again, Therese's found it difficult to breathe. She released the sleeping child and the air felt cool where it hit her body where the baby had been held against her. She suddenly had a feeling of emptiness she couldn't ignore. The little girl stirred and smiled, stretching her arm out above her head.

"She's dreaming," Therese whispered, enraptured.

"Must be nice," Carol mumbled quietly, watching for a moment. Then she returned her attention to the matters at hand. "Would you mind returning the cart while I get her situated?" Carol asked Therese.

"No, of course not." Carol stood and watched Therese begin to push the cart back up on the sidewalk and into the cart queue before she bent down to place the child in her seat. The girl never stirred. Therese returned and stood by watching Carol's long fingers deftly adjusted the straps and secured the necessary buckles. She then lovingly kissed the sleeping baby's cheek before turning to Therese.

"Well, get in, slow poke!" Carol said jokingly. "Unless you prefer to follow me," she added, reconsidering.

"Actually, I walked here," said Therese. "I only live a few blocks away," she said gesturing with her hand.

"Perfect. Off we go then." Carol shut the back door and walked around to the passenger door and held it open for Therese. Therese's chest felt like it was going to explode as she walked toward Carol. She held Carol's eyes as she slipped into the car and felt the leather beneath her, warm from the sun. She caught the smell of Carol's perfume again, an intoxicating scent that made her mind fuzzy. Carol waited until she pulled her foot in and softly shut the door.

Carol slid into the driver's seat. "Ready?" she asked, putting on her sunglasses and glancing at Therese.

"Ready," replied Therese, as a sudden wave of happiness washed over her.

_What...just...happened?_ Therese wondered as they made the drive to Carol’s house.


	2. Capers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **There is always some trepidation that comes with the unknown, but new experiences can hold euphoria, too.**

 

To speak or to be silent was equally an effort, for when they were silent they were keenly conscious of each other's presence, and yet words were either too trivial or too large. -Virginia Woolf

 

Therese gently set the two paper bags full of groceries on the kitchen counter and turned back to help Carol. As she re-entered the garage, Therese mentally noted that there was only room to park one car in the garage. The opposite side was stacked with neatly labeled boxes, a bicycle, and a stroller.

"What can I take?" offered Therese. Carol was standing at the back bumper with an arm around Rindy on her hip and a bag of groceries in her other arm.

"Could you please get the last bag and shut the hatch?" Carol asked.

"Sure." Therese slipped by Carol as they exchanged places. Again, the intoxicating cloud of Carol's perfume caught her off-guard.

Carol glanced back over her shoulder and smiled at her. "Thank you, darling."

Flustered, Therese ducked her head into the back of the car and retrieved the final bag. Gently, she closed the hatch and followed Carol into the house. She was extremely lightheaded. She wondered if it was due to the presence of carbon monoxide fumes in the garage, but her recently-awakened heart knew otherwise.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Carol set her bag of groceries on the counter and began taking out the contents and placing them on the counter top with her free hand. Rindy reached and grasped the edge of the brown paper bag and left dark marks, her hand wet from being in her mouth.

"Would you mind holding her for a minute?" asked Carol.

"I don’t mind," replied Therese, depositing the last bag on the counter. Carol handed Rindy to her, and Rindy again went to Therese with no qualms. Settling comfortably against Therese, the little girl reached out to hold onto a handful of Therese’s dark hair. Carol's long fingers lingered to smooth down the messy curls on the back of the little girl's head.

"Well, aren't you in a good mood today, my little one," Carol said quietly. She turned back to the groceries. "Go sit down, girls, and keep me company," Carol said, pointing to the bar stools on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

Therese retreated from the kitchen and pulled out a stool at the bar. She sat Rindy down in front of her on the counter. "Hi, sweet girl," she murmured softly as the baby wrapped her tiny fingers around Therese's index finger. Her bare feet twitched happily as she played with Therese.

Therese looked at ease and the thought pleased Carol. She pulled the remaining groceries out of the paper bag.

"How old is she?" Therese asked Carol's back as she put food away in the refrigerator.

"Almost eight months."

"She's adorable."

"Thank you," said Carol turning and looking at her daughter. "Although, I never really know what to say when people compliment her. I really have nothing to do with her looks. I adopted her."

"Oh, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," Therese said, blushing deeply.

"You didn't." Carol smiled and their eyes met. Carol couldn't pull her eyes away from the woman's rosy cheeks.

A strange silence followed. Carol knew Therese had more questions. She could read it on her face. But they had only met and Therese’s embarrassment was evident, despite it being unwarranted. Something told Carol it wouldn't take long though.

"Would you like a drink?" Carol asked her.

"I'd love one. Whatever you're having is fine." Therese pulled Rindy onto her lap and glanced around the room. It was decorated nicely, free from clutter aside from a few baby toys in a basket on the coffee table. Books stood at attention, neatly lined up on the shelves and the low-rays of the sun sparkled on two simple vases on the mantle. A framed photo of Rindy sat between the vases.

Carol placed a glass of white wine next to Therese, but far enough out of Rindy's reach. "I should feed her first. Then we can enjoy our dinner later. It will be too late for her to wait to eat by then."

"I can feed her if you want," Therese timidly responded.

Carol put down her glass of wine. "That would be lovely. And I can get started on our dinner. Do you like chicken piccata?" She opened the refrigerator and took out a baby bottle.

"I don't know. I've never had it," Therese said.

"Well, it's pretty straightforward - chicken, lemon, butter, and capers. But if you don't like capers I can leave them out," Carol said as she pulled what appeared to be a Pyrex dish of cooked carrots from the refrigerator.

"Would you believe I've never actually had them?" Therese looked at her guiltily, as if her lack of caper experience was something to be ashamed of.

"Well, they're little pickled flower buds. They give a dish a nice, briny bite. They're amazing on a bagel with lox." Carol turned back to the refrigerator and removed a jar from the side door. Pulling out a teaspoon from a drawer, she lifted out two capers, tipping the spoon against the edge of the glass so the pickling liquid drained back into the jar. "Lean forward." She held out the spoon for Therese to taste.

Therese shifted Rindy to one side, leaned over the counter, and opened her mouth. _She looks like a little bird,_ thought Carol. Carol let Therese's lips close around the spoon before gently withdrawing it from her mouth.

Therese chewed. "Oh, they're good," Therese said, raising her eyebrows. "Not what I expected."

"So, yes to capers then?" asked Carol mischievously.

"Yes." Therese smiled.

"Here's to firsts," announced Carol, raising her glass of wine and smiling, her eyes sparkling.

They clinked glasses, gazed at each other for a moment, and took a sip of the wine.

 

 

* * *

 

 

For it was not knowledge but unity that she desired, not inscriptions on tablets, nothing that could be written in any language known to men, but intimacy itself, which is knowledge. –Virginia Woolf

 

Therese pulled Rindy's high chair closer to her. Carol handed her a bib. On the bib was embroidered _My Mom is Cooler than Your Mom_. Therese tied it around the baby’s neck, protecting the daisy on the her front of her dress, but not before raising an eyebrow at Carol. Carol just shrugged. Therese fed Rindy the rest of the mashed carrots. The little girl ate hungrily, happy to have food and attention.

Carol donned her favorite apron, tying it around her waist. She quickly peeled a couple of Yukon gold potatoes and efficiently cut them into cubes before dropping them in boiling, salted water. She could see Therese watching her with fascination out of the corner of her eye.

"When she's done eating, you can feed her the bottle. It should be warm by now," Carol said, pulling it out of its water bath and testing it on her wrist. Satisfied with its temperature, she wiped the bottle on a towel before handing it to Therese.

Therese gently cleaned the streaks of carrots from Rindy's cheeks with a small cloth and then lifted the baby onto her lap. She sat back in the bar chair and held the baby close to her chest. Rindy's eyes never left Therese's as her tiny hands wrapped around Therese's fingers that were holding the bottle. Therese lifted her head, her eyes searching for Carol, but Carol was no longer in the kitchen. She jumped when Carol's arms placed a small blanket around Rindy and carefully tucked it around her arms from behind. Carol lightly placed her hand over Therese's arm. She noticed Therese shiver.

"So sweet," Carol murmured close to Therese's ear. She laid her hands on Therese's shoulders. She watched the girl slightly stiffen. Carol returned to the kitchen, lightly brushing Therese's shoulder as she left her. She hoped the uncomfortable silence she had just created would quickly dissipate, but her heart swelled at the sight of her daughter so happy in this young woman's arms. She wanted to remember this moment.

"You're very good with her," Carol stated, still watching them as she lightly dusted the chicken cutlets with flour, salt, and pepper.

"I guess I have some experience taking care of small children," Therese said vaguely. "I don't do well with groups of rowdy, noisy children, but sometimes there's just a certain child I feel like a have a special connection with."

Carol didn't have to ask if Therese felt this connection now. And by the look on Therese's face when she looked up at Carol, Therese knew Carol understood. Carol's heart skipped a beat and she fumbled for her tongs.

Carol quickly pan fried the cutlets and popped them in the oven to keep them warm while she made the mashed potatoes and the sauce. She picked up the bottle of white wine and refreshed both their glasses before adding some to deglaze the pan. She used a strainer and drained the water from the potatoes before returning them to the pot. Grabbing her ricer from a drawer, she quickly riced the potatoes into a clean bowl. She added some cubed butter and some milk and a splash of cream she had warming in a saucepan and mixed them all together with a wooden spoon. Her fingers reached into small bowls near the stove and added pinches of salt and white pepper.

"Are you making ... broccoli?" asked Therese, sniffing.

"No, haricots vert. They're steaming."

“Hairy what?” Therese asked, scrunching up her nose.

“Green beans. Is that all right?” Carol grinned as she asked. She deftly chopped parsley to garnish the cutlets.

"Oh, yes. I didn't notice you preparing them."

Carol just smiled. She rolled two lemons against her cutting board, loosening them up before she juiced them. It didn't appear Therese had much experience in the kitchen, or perhaps even eating different foods. Secretly, Carol hoped she could teach her a thing or two. She had always enjoyed cooking with someone else. And with so many incredible foods in the world to enjoy, she found herself happily making a mental list of things to try with Therese.

But she stopped herself. _I'm just thanking her for being helpful at the store._ At least that's what she tried to tell herself. But she already knew that she didn't want this night to end. She hadn't felt like this in ages. _Or ever, really,_ if she was completely honest with herself. The thought startled her deeply. She suddenly felt like a runaway train with no idea what existed at the end of the tracks.


	3. Is Someone Expecting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tipsy Therese...enjoy.

 

_I am in the mood to dissolve in the sky. –Virginia Woolf_

 

 

"That. Was. Incredible." Therese leaned back and sighed. Her senses were still in overload. She inhaled deeply in an effort to hold on to some of her obvious satisfaction. The sights tonight were certainly above ordinary, but the amazing meal she just tasted was unlike anything she could remember. She took another sip of her wine, the alcohol making everything pleasantly foggy. "You're a wonderful chef," Therese said, not minding how openly or appreciatively she looked at Carol now, the wine giving her liquid courage.

"Thank you," Carol said quietly. She raised her glass to her lips, gazing out at the view from the deck on which they sat at their small table. They enjoyed the last vestiges of the sunset, the far-off sound of crickets beginning to sing their nightly song, and the companionship of the woman next to her. "I've had a lot of practice. Or at least I did when I was married," she added.

Therese noted the past tense. "So you're not a chef?" Therese asked, the questions flowing more easily now, as the closer to the bottom of the glass the wine sank.

"No, but I did a lot of cooking while I was married - entertaining, dinner parties ..." she trailed off. "I enjoyed the cooking part of it, anyway." She shrugged.

"You're divorced?" Therese asked hesitantly.

"Yes."

"Oh." Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find the right thing to say. "I'm sorry," Therese offered.

"Don't be," Carol said quickly.

Therese enjoyed watching Carol. Her eyes took in the sight of the apron still tied around Carol's slim waist, her long fingers, the wisps of hair that had escaped her low ponytail and curled softly near her temples. One of her long legs was crossed over the other, a sandal hanging off her dangling foot.

"So then, what _do_ you do for work?" Therese asked, attempting to redirect the conversation.

"I co-own an antique furniture house." Carol drank before making eye contact. "The hours are good, it's flexible, and I can be available for Rindy when I need to be. Plus, I enjoy it and I'd like to think I'm decent at it," she said modestly.

"Well, if your eye for furniture is anything close to your skills in the kitchen, then I'd hazard a guess that you've made quite a name for yourself in the business."

"I do all right," said Carol coyly, a hint of a smile threatening to make itself known.

"And do you share custody of Rindy with your ex-husband?" Therese was on a roll now, the wine providing all the impetus she needed.

"No, my ex has nothing to do with Rindy,” Carol said rigidly. “I adopted her."

Therese regretted the question. "You must keep busy between your job and a new baby," Therese said cautiously.

"Yes, sleep is difficult to come by, but I love every minute with her." Carol's eyes were wistful. "Speaking of which, I can't believe she's sleeping so peacefully right now. Sometimes it seems like one of us is awake at all times."

"Does she keep you up?" Therese asked, pulling her legs up underneath her and cradling the wine glass.

"Sure, all babies do to some extent. But I suppose I feel like I have to sleep with one proverbial eye open, so I never really get any satisfying sleep. And then I worry and stress and exhaust myself and that probably affects her. It's a vicious cycle," Carol scoffed sardonically.

Therese looked at her, taking in the fine details around her eyes, noticing how tired she looked. She had first noticed it at the store, but now, hours later, the exhaustion was amplified. _She's so lovely,_ thought Therese, _even when she's exhausted._ She couldn't imagine Carol more beautiful or more vibrant, yet she wanted nothing more than to be a witness when it happened.

"Is that what you meant earlier … outside the car … when Rindy was dreaming - that you were jealous?" The ability to form a coherent sentence had since left Therese. She had so many questions, and perhaps too little time, and she wanted to know everything.

"Dreaming ..." Carol said wistfully. "I can't even remember that last time I had a dream. Sleeping, in itself, is difficult enough." She shook her head, clearing away the idea and changed the subject. "And you? What do you do?" Carol asked, tilting her head toward Therese.

"I … uh, work for the New York Times," she stammered. "It's really just an entry level position at the moment in the photography department, but I'd like to take photographs professionally at some point."

"I'd love to see your work sometime." She paused. "Invite me 'round," Carol said, her eyes narrowing as her lips curved into a smile.

Therese felt the hot flush overtake her cheeks. She knew Carol had noticed, too: Therese saw it in her eyes. Carol stood up to gather some of their dishes and carry them indoors. Therese took a deep breath of the evening air. She got her bearings upon standing and took the wine bottle in one hand and their glasses in the other and followed Carol inside.

 

 

* * *

 

_We yield to the slow flood. We go in and out of this hesitating music. Rocks break the current of the dance; it jars, it shivers. In and out, we are swept now in this large figure; it holds us together. -Virginia Woolf_

 

 

"So, do you live alone, Therese Belivet?" Carol asked in the kitchen as she finished loading the last of the silverware into the dishwasher. "I mean, is someone expecting you tonight? Family or… I just wondered if perhaps you wanted to stay here tonight because I shouldn't have had that last glass of wine. Or I can pay for a cab for you if you prefer, but you're welcome to sleep here and I can take you home in the morning. You can take my bed. Unless you have plans - I suppose it is Friday night."

She was rambling. _At least give her time to answer, you idiot._ She leaned back, her hands tightly holding the edges of the counter on either side of her.

Therese was standing a few feet away, just watching her. _She’s watching the spectacle I'm making,_ thought Carol. Therese looked slightly amused, but another emotion crossed her face and it hit Carol low in the stomach when she realized it was fear. But however quickly it appeared, it vanished.

"Yes. I would like that." She smiled shyly and her dimples appeared. She seemed unsure of where to put her arms or hands so she settled on crossing them over awkwardly at her waist. "No one will miss me. I don't really have a family. I grew up in foster homes. And I live alone. My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. I mean, I'm sure he would still like to have a relationship, but I wasn't ...” She cut herself off and looked up. “But you don't have to give up your bed. I can sleep on the couch,” she added quickly.

Carol loosened her death grip on the counter as oxygen returned to her brain. "I insist.” Pushing herself away from the counter, Carol gracefully turned and walked down the hallway. “Well, let's get you set up then."

Unsure whether she was to follow, Therese remained where she was. "Come on," Carol said expectantly over her shoulder. _She's nervous_ , thought Carol. _Try to act like this is normal._ Therese hesitantly followed after her. Silently they entered Carol's bedroom. Carol turned on the light and proceeded to the dresser. She pulled out a light gray t-shirt and a pair of comfy-looking black shorts. "Are these ok for pajamas?" She looked at the thin girl and quickly looked away. The thought of her naked with only Carol's clothes on was too much to contemplate right now.

"Yes, they're perfect. Thanks." Therese took them from Carol's hands. She set them down the bed's white down duvet as Carol walked into the adjoining bathroom.

"There are plenty of towels in here if you want to shower and I'll put a new toothbrush next to the sink for you." Carol stepped back into the bedroom. She crossed to the bed and picked up one of the four pillows and tucked it under her arm. "I have a few things to do before I sleep, but is there anything else I can get for you?"

Therese looked around. "No, I'm fine. Thanks for letting me stay."

"It's my pleasure," Carol answered as she reached down and gently squeezed Therese's hand. Carol received the added benefit of keeping her eyes on Therese's face as she did, so when the young woman stared down in amazement at their hands together, Carol saw the pure joy appear on her face. Smiling, she turned and walked back down the hallway, turning into the nursery to check on her sleeping baby


	4. Moonlight & Tulips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> **  
> **  
> _“Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I'm never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf_  
>   
> 
> You know who you are.
> 
> * * *

 

_Night had come—night that she loved of all times, night in which the reflections in the dark pool of the mind shine more clearly than by day. -Virginia Woolf_

 

 

She felt the cool wind run its fingers over her exposed skin. The night was warm and she had kicked the blankets off. It felt pleasant, but when she emerged from her slumber enough to remember where she was, she knew she hadn't left the window open. Therese sat up in Carol's bed. The room was bathed in pale blue moonlight, creating a monochromatic landscape before her. Another breeze washed over her and she realized it came through the open bedroom door. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. _2:37am_. Now fully awake, she recognized how thirsty she was. _I should have brought a glass of water to bed,_ she chided herself.

Quietly, she made her way down the hallway to the kitchen. The baby's door was almost completely closed, and she felt more of the breeze as she entered the living and dining area. Her eyes gravitated to the couch. There in the darkness, folded neatly on one end of the couch was a blanket, a sheet, and Carol's pillow. They were untouched. Her eyes followed the moonlight splashed across the wooden floor through the open French doors to the deck.

Her bare feet moved silently across the living room as she made her way to the open doorway. She stopped just inside and took in the scene before her. Carol sat in an Adirondack chair on the deck. She was awake, staring out at nothing and everything. Therese gazed at her, not knowing or caring how long she stood there, barely daring to breathe for fear Carol might just vanish into the moonlight like an apparition. _She looks like a goddess._ Carol's blonde hair reflected the silvery light of the moon. Her tank top showed softly-defined shoulders and biceps and her legs were long and bare. One arm rested on the chair while the other was propped up by her elbow, her hand bent at the wrist and the side of her index finger danced along her lips. Therese wondered what she was thinking about or worrying about, but now wasn't the time for questions, or even for words. She made a decision.

Slowly, so as not to startle her, Therese took a step out onto the deck. Carol turned her head, the only acknowledgment that Therese was there. Therese continued until she was standing in front of Carol’s chair, their eyes never leaving each other. She lifted her arm and gentle fingers brushed the hair back from Carol’s eyes. Silently she extended her hand, palm up. Carol looked out at it, and then lifted her hand from the arm of the chair and placed it in Therese's hand. It fit perfectly, as if they had been made for each other. She allowed Therese to pull her up. They stood inches apart, facing each other. Carol seemed to wait for Therese to say something, but Therese just turned and gently pulled her toward the open doorway.

Stepping inside, Therese reached for one of the French doors with her left hand and closed it quietly. Carol turned and pushed the other door closed and flipped the lock. She looked back at Therese, her eyes wide and questioning.

Therese was young, but she knew that words would only ruin this moment, this night of nights. Words would seek to simplify, to condense, and by default, let those unknowns that existed possibly cease to exist. For right now, all things were possible, but using mere words to communicate would reduce it to something only a fraction of what really existed between them.

Turning, she led Carol toward the couch. When they got there, she bent down and picked up the pillow with her left hand and changed direction as she walked slowly down the hall toward the bedroom. She was aware of Carol's soft hand in hers, of Carol’s long fingers, so tender and strong at the same time. Entering the bedroom, she walked around to the opposite side of the bed from where she had slept and set the pillow back down where it had resided hours before. She pulled what remained of the covers down even more and guided Carol to the side of the bed. Carol sat down and slid her long legs into the bed, and then laid her head back on the pillow without a word. Therese released her hand and walked around to the other side of the bed.

Crawling back in, she turned to face Carol. Carol's blonde hair spread out over the pillowcase. Therese propped herself up on one elbow and laid her other hand on Carol's cheek. The feel of soft skin was expected, but the degree to which shocked her. She was cool to the touch. Carol's gray eyes locked on hers. Taking two fingertips, Therese gently brushed them down over her eyelids, closing her eyes. Carol's eyelashes fluttered slightly, but her eyes remained closed. Carol's chest rose and fell rapidly. Therese alternately threaded her fingers into Carol's hair and lightly ran her nails against Carol's scalp. The silky tresses fell through her fingers and Therese briefly believed this all must be an illusion, a concoction of wine and sleep. Her fingers lovingly swam through Carol’s hair until the sounds of Carol’s even, deep breathing allowed Therese to recline back onto her own pillow.

She glanced back at the clock on the night table. _3:13am_. She never did get that glass of water.

 

* * *

 

  
_Even my body now lets the light through; my spine is soft like wax near the flame of the candle. I dream; I dream. - Virginia Woolf_

 

  
Therese awoke to unfamiliar sounds. They weren't bad sounds, just unfamiliar. At her apartment, she was used to the sounds of traffic and cars honking, loud footsteps in the stairwell, or the rattling of pipes when the neighbors took a shower. But this sound was different. It was human.

Opening her eyes, her thoughts flew back to last night. Carol, Rindy, dinner, Carol, moonlight, _Carol_. She turned her head and Carol was asleep next to her. She looked exactly the same. Exactly and excruciatingly beautiful as she did last night, her blonde hair still fanned out. _I'm in bed with her,_ thought Therese. And then she heard the noise again. _Rindy_. The child was making noises from the nursery. Happy gurgling baby noises. Therese decided to retrieve her before the she did any crying that might awaken Carol.

She slipped from the bed, although truth-be-told, there wasn't anywhere on earth she would have rather stayed. Pushing the door to the nursery open, she saw the little girl staring up at her from the crib. Rindy smiled and kicked her legs. Therese involuntarily smiled, too. The little girl had kicked her blankets off during the night. "Did you get warm too, sweetheart?" Therese scooped her up. Rindy cooed and her pudgy little hand tried to touch Therese's face, but only ended up in bouncing off her cheeks and lips.

Therese felt the baby's diaper, warm and heavy. "Oh, you're wet." Therese looked around the buttery yellow room. A changing table stood against one wall. "Let's change you." She carefully lifted Rindy up on the table and laid her hand on the child’s chest as she reached for a clean diaper, neatly stacked in piles below. A box of diaper wipes sat on top near the wall. _I should be able to manage this_ , she thought.

Therese quietly talked to the baby as she worked. She dropped the wet diaper in the bin and considered whether she should put the baby's pajamas back on or dress her in clean clothes. "We might as well start the day," she cheerily said to the little girl. "What do you want to wear today? Where are your little clothes?" Therese perched the near-naked Rindy on her hip and walked over to the dresser. She pulled open the top drawer. A myriad of tiny colorful socks were folded up in neat rows on one side. Miniature shoes lined up on the other side. She closed the drawer and opened the second drawer. _This is better_. Colorful outfits and sun dresses were folded into stacks.

Therese picked out a simple white sundress covered with small tulips with sky blue buttons on the shoulders. Below it were a matching pair of underpants, or whatever babies wear over their diapers. Therese didn't know what they were called or even if they had a name. They sat down on the floor and Rindy was soon dressed. "Well, we managed so far, didn't we?" Therese gently brushed down her unruly curls with her fingers and looked at her sweet face. "You're probably hungry. Shall we see if your mama left you another bottle in the fridge?"

She held Rindy on her hip as she scanned the refrigerator's contents. She immediately spotted her Chinese chicken salad and almost laughed out loud at how horrible it sounded, especially when she compared it to the amazing dinner she had eaten. And not to mention the amazing company. Sadness hit her as she realized she would be taking that salad to her boring little apartment today. To her boring little life. By herself. Her life of black and white, compared to the life she had now glimpsed in glorious color. Her life that she hadn't even realized was in black and white until she came here. She snapped back to her task at hand and picked up a green baby bottle.

Shutting the refrigerator, she flipped on the faucet to warm the water. She filled a bowl with hot water and placed the bottle in it. While it warmed, she walked Rindy around the kitchen. It was a beautiful kitchen. All stainless steel appliances, gas stove, hood, tiled backsplash and a huge island that Carol obviously made good use of. Her eyes settled on the side of the refrigerator. A coupon for an oil change, a magnet from Rome, a phone number for "Abby's hotel" scrawled on a piece of paper, a newborn photo of Rindy, and a candid snapshot of Carol and Rindy. Carol looked extremely happy, holding and kissing Rindy. Happy and proud. _And gorgeous._

Therese picked up the bottle and shook it before placing it back in the water. Rindy reached for the bottle, but when it went out of her reach, she settled for her thumb. They walked to the living room. **Furniture Today** and **Antiques** magazines occupied one end table. The folded blanket and sheet still laid on the couch. Therese walked over to the French doors and pulled the blinds back. Sunlight streamed in. Therese soaked in the sight of the back yard, all the green foliage and flowers while she quietly talked to Rindy. She pointed things out to the little girl: a hummingbird, a robin, a squirrel on the fence. Her mind wandered and she wondered how she ended up in someone else's home talking to a baby when something like this was unimaginable 24 hours ago.

Walking back to the kitchen, Therese took the bottle from its water bath. Sitting Rindy on the counter, Therese held her there against her chest as she popped off the lid. She squirted the milk on the inside of her wrist like she had seen Carol do. It was warm, but not hot. _Perfect_ , she thought. She picked Rindy back up and considered where to feed her. She wasn't necessarily heavy, but Therese wanted to be comfortable. She decided to recline on the bed while she fed her. She picked up a folded cloth hanging on the high chair and flipped it over her shoulder as she walked to the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

_Her shoulder blades meet across her back like the wings of a small butterfly. - Virginia Woolf  
_

 

Carol was stretched out on her stomach, one arm above her head and a few golden curls falling over her face. Therese debated jostling the bed. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, but Therese also felt like she shouldn't wander too far from mama bear with her cub. She stacked her two pillows against the headboard and eased herself down on the bed.

Holding Rindy in the crook of her arm, she gazed at the child's beauty. Her face was so perfect. Long eyelashes protected her sky blue eyes. Therese marveled at her skin, so pale and flawless. Her curls were a brilliant gold and maintained the soft naturalness that only hair that has never touched scissors possesses. Therese stroked her soft cheek with a single finger. Rindy blinked and held her gaze. Without thinking, she pressed a gentle kiss to the girl's forehead.

Her arm was falling asleep though. She adjusted, propping Rindy up against her own knees, the child's bare feet resting on Therese's chest. Rindy’s eyes never left Therese's. They watched each other as Rindy drank her bottle, Therese occasionally brushing a curl back from her forehead or gently tracing almost invisible eyebrows. Smiling, Therese took Rindy's right foot and kissed her toes. The little girl unlatched her lips from the bottle and smiled. Therese picked up her left foot and did the same.

This time the little girl laughed, the sound breaking the silence in the room. Therese jerked her head around to see if the sound had awakened Carol, but she wasn't prepared for what her eyes found. Carol's eyes were indeed open, but they were filled with tears and Therese could see where one had trickled onto the pillow. But the fingers pressed against Carol's lips were holding back a smile and Therese's heart began beating again, just as it began to melt.

"How long have you been awake?" she finally choked out.

"Not nearly long enough," said Carol tenderly, smiling wider now. But existence of the tears still scared Therese. _She looks refreshed though,_ thought Therese. _The sleep did her well._

Carol propped her head up in her hand and watched them. Therese took note of how stunning she looked after just waking up. _She’s so beautiful. I can't believe I get to see her like this._

"I'm sorry you had to get up. I didn't hear her cry," Carol apologized. She rolled on her side.

"She didn't cry. She was just playing and I thought I'd grab her so you could sleep a little more. You were up quite late," Therese said, tentatively looking for Carol's reaction to Therese pulling her into bed last night.

Carol's eyes had returned to normal. She sighed and admitted, "I was. That was kind of you. I don't know why I have such a terrible time sleeping. But I slept harder last night than I have in months. It felt wonderful." Quietly she added, "Thank you. For everything. I see you changed her, too."

"Yes," Therese felt the need to explain, "she was wet when I picked her up."

"That's one of my favorite outfits on her," Carol said smiling again, tracing the individual tulips. Her hand was dangerously close to Therese's hand resting on Rindy's leg. Therese thought she could feel the heat emanating from Carol. Therese panicked and moved her hand away, picking up Rindy's foot and kissing her toes again. Rindy laughed.

"Adorable." She could feel Carol's eyes and heard the smile in her voice. "Do you mind if I take a picture?" asked Carol, reaching for her cell phone where it had been charging on her nightstand next to the bed.

"I don't mind," Therese answered, although she was keenly aware of her uncombed hair. Therese kissed the little girl's toes one more time to elicit a smile.

Carol snapped a photo. She glanced at it briefly and smiled before tossing the phone idly to the end of the bed. Moments passed with only their breathing. "This is nice," Carol said softly. Therese dared not make eye contact because she was afraid her face might betray her. She wasn't quite sure what Carol meant. Her mind raced. _Being able to sleep? Having someone get up with Rindy? Something … else?_ Therese knew what she thought of all of it. Carol sleeping next to her. The three of them sharing a morning in bed. Therese had never felt like she belonged anywhere until now, but she scolded herself for having such a ridiculous idea. Especially with a someone whom she had just met. Especially with a woman. Especially with this gorgeous woman.

Carol interrupted Therese’s train of thought as she leaned over and kissed her daughter on the cheek. "Good morning, my special girl." And then she turned toward Therese and delicately tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear before she quietly said, "And thank you again, darling." She hesitated a moment with her hand in mid-air before she stood up and walked into the bathroom.


	5. The Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but I promise I'll make up for the brevity soon.

 

_I begin to feel the wish to be singled out; to be summoned, to be called away by one person who comes to find me, who is attracted towards me. - Virginia Woolf  
_

 

By the time they both showered and dressed, it was almost 10:00. Carol offered to fix breakfast for her, but Therese was content with a croissant and coffee. Carol wondered if perhaps Therese was eager to get home, so she didn't push it.

Rindy waged her own personal battle against a few Cheerios on her high chair tray. Eyebrows drawn together and thumb and forefinger at the ready, she attacked a helpless Cheerio, only to have it scoot away. She pushed the hair from her eyes, gathered her forces, and tried again. The second unsuspecting Cheerio never saw what was coming.

“Why did you grow up in foster care, if you don't mind me asking?” Carol threw the question out there like a life ring in the ocean. She stirred some half ‘n half in her coffee.

Briefly taken aback, Therese regrouped and swallowed her bite of croissant she was chewing with a sip of coffee. “Well, my dad died when I was a baby. And my mother wasn't what you would call a suitable parent, so I ended up in the system.” She shrugged dismissively.

“How old were you?”

“Eight.”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No, not unless you count foster kids, but I lived in six different places in 10 years, so it's not always easy to form bonds when people come and go.”

“You must have been good to the smaller children,” Carol said, smiling.

“I tried to be. I felt bad for the kids who were so much younger than I was.” She didn't elaborate further.

* * *

They were both quiet on the ride to Therese's apartment. _I don't know how to say what I want to say and I'm running out of time to say it,_ thought Carol. She racked her brain trying to figure out a way to determine if Therese would want to see her again. How was she supposed to leave everything? "Thanks for your help at the grocery store and for stroking my hair until I fell asleep. Would you like to do it again sometime?" _You're beyond lame._ She annoyed herself at this point. _You have to say something,_ she admonished herself. _You can't just let her go._

Traffic was light and they arrived at Therese's place less than half an hour later. The brick building was old and fire escape balconies hung on its side. Carol pulled up near the front steps and put the car in park. She turned in her seat toward Therese. Therese made no move to get out. _This is it._ Carol softly began, "You've been so kind to me in such a short amount of time. I just want you to know how much I appreciate it."

"Carol, you made me one of the best meals I've had in my life. You can stop thanking me now." She let out a small laugh as she looked at Carol.

"Yes, but you allowed me to get a decent night's sleep and you were so good with Rindy," Carol attempted to explain.

And then she did it. The question left her mouth before her brain could fully calculate the possible repercussions.

"I'd love it if you would babysit for me sometime. Would you?"

Therese vacantly stared straight ahead, the silence deafening. A lifetime expired before she answered. Her voice was low and quiet, and existed almost entirely of the breath she had held in her lungs.

"No," she said slowly, "I don't think so." She reached for the door handle. "Bye-bye, Rindy," she said turning around. "Good-bye, Carol," she said, finally meeting Carol's eyes. Carol saw the raw hurt and anger burning in Therese's eyes and making them red and swollen. Carol immediately felt sick to her stomach as she realized the finality of the situation. Therese opened the door and stepped onto the sidewalk, gently closing the car door behind her. She walked to her building. She didn't turn around.

Carol instinctively threw the car in drive and drove down the block. Bile crawled up her throat. Rindy started to cry, not her usual whining when she dropped a toy or was tired, but a long mournful wail. Eyes clouded, Carol couldn't take it. Making a right turn, she parked her car illegally against the curb.

Silently chastising herself, she gripped the wheel with both hands. Defeated, she rested her forehead on the top of the steering wheel, closed her eyes, and allowed the tears to fall. She felt there was something between them. She just knew it. But whatever possibility might have existed had just been erased with her one stupid question.


	6. Monday

 

 

 

_To want and not to have, sent all up her body a hardness, a hollowness, a strain. And then to want and not to have- to want and want- how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again! –Virginia Woolf_

 

 

Carol set down her paperback book and pulled her hat lower to shade her eyes from the torturous sun. Despite wearing sunglasses, she was squinting as she watched the waves rise to their white peaks before dashing to oblivion. Even the sand beneath her towel radiated the heat it had absorbed from the early morning sun and she felt every inch of her flesh burning.

Stretching her legs, she stood up and brushed sand off the back of her calves. She straightened her bikini top as she walked toward the water's edge. The beach was nearly empty today despite the gorgeous weather. The closest beachgoers she could see were at least a quarter of a mile down the sand, a rectangular navy blue and white kite marking their position from high above. As she neared the water's edge, the sand grew wet and cool against the soles of her feet where the highest waves had stretched their fingers. A debris field littered this dividing line between wet and dry sand. Small crab claws, tiny shells of various colors, a few seagull feathers, and strips of seaweed and kelp waited patiently at this intermission to see if they would go forward or back.

Carol stopped when her toes touched the foamy remnants of the waves before they pulled back to the sea. The water was deliciously cool, taking its chill from the ocean depths and mixing it with the heat of the sun and the sand. She sat down, extending her legs into the waves, letting them cool off as the water inched higher. She leaned back, arms outstretched, the sand beneath her shoulders considerably warmer than the water. Outstretched fingers played in the warm sand. Closing her eyes, she let the water lap at her lower body, feeling it skirt up the outsides of her calves and between her lower legs. The waves arrived with consistency and determination. Eyes remaining closed, she laid there pensively, thinking the tide must be coming in as each successive wave crept higher and higher.

A sudden splash of sea and foam hit much higher, soaking the lower half her bikini bottom. The cool water was shocking, but delightful. _That must be the mythical seventh wave,_ she thought, briefly opening her eyes before closing them again. However, it didn't cool her off as much she might have expected. The heat was unbearable, unrelenting. She wondered if a large wave might wash over her completely if she laid in this position too long. A part of her hoped it would. A full, complete extinguishing of the intense heat. She fleetingly wished she had left her sunglasses and hat on her towel.

The waves crept higher and she spread her legs slightly so each wave could lap at her inner thighs. Her breathing that had begun slow and meditative came faster now. Her skin, where it was still kissed by the harsh rays of the sun, burned and wanted relief. Every inch of water that crept higher and higher was a blessing. Instead of just pooling around the junction where her body met the sand, the waves clapped higher, occasionally eclipsing her kneecaps. Her lungs drank in the ozone, allowing it to replenish her soul.

The sun and the heat and the water and her needs made her ache now and she craved the intermittent waves that crashed perfectly between her legs, but they withdrew, teasing her. Her stomach convulsed once with desire and she muffled a moan, even though no one was around to hear her. The cool water eddied and pooled between her legs, the sensation refreshing, but no where near what she needed.

She heard a lull and then a roar as the next wave reached its crest and came toward her, scattering bands of seaweed across her breasts and stomach and pulling them back across her burning skin as the wave retreated. Her fingers reached down to pluck them off, but the texture was all wrong. Jerking her head up, she found long strands of dark hair in her fingers and being dragged down her abdomen. Familiar green eyes looked up and met hers before lips were lowered to where she wanted to be touched the most. She arched back, mouth open, hotter than the center of the earth. She reached down to pull her bikini to the side when a horrid noise shattered her eardrum.

She jerked her head away from the assaulting scream and the side of her face smashed into wood. Her hands fumbled and finally found her cell phone on the armrest of the Adirondack chair and she shut off the offending alarm. Blinking her eyes, Carol gasped for breath, the images of her dream all too crisp and clear. _Jesus, she's in my dream. I can't even sleep without thinking of her._ She had fallen asleep on the deck again for a few hours of precious sleep.

The sun was beginning its daily ascent into the sky and poured over her arms and legs, already making her uncomfortably warm. She tried to remember the last time she had a dream. She couldn't. Dreaming required the brain to enter a certain stage of sleep, and Carol doubted her body ever let her get that far. But this felt different. In a way, she wished she could tell Therese that she had finally been able to dream, without going into any details, of course. But that mattered none. She had blown it with Therese before it had even started.

Carol stood up to go make a pot of coffee and begin her day. She still felt the effects of her dream and debated taking care of herself. Bitterly she tossed the idea aside, cringing reflexively at all the years with Harge in which that was the only way she found relief. Since then, it was something she did much akin to getting her hair cut, eating, or flossing. Sometimes it needed to be done and she did it. But she stubbornly refused today and would settle for a shower. Yes, she had taken care of herself in the past, but this was different. She didn't _want_ to take care of herself. She didn't want _this_ to be a one dimensional basic need. She wanted to be _loved_. And it was crystal clear whom she wanted to love her.

She turned the shower on cold.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_In her eyes shone the sweetness of melancholy. - Virginia Woolf_

Monday morning came with its usual busy bustle of customers at the furniture store. Carol alternated between placing orders, paying bills, merchandising, and scouring the latest auction house catalogs. As long as the task-at-hand kept her busy and she didn't have to dwell on the happenings over the weekend, she was glad.

But moments from the weekend would creep into her consciousness now and then with an unexpected impact - the way Therese's hair fell forward in a dark curtain when she looked down at Rindy, the way her dimples became more prominent when the wine was opened, the way her fingers felt in Carol's hair and how desperately Carol had tried to stay awake and savor the moment. And the one memory she couldn't erase stalked her relentlessly - the hurt she saw in Therese's eyes when she stupidly asked that regrettable question. Carol vividly remembered the swift kick to her stomach when it occurred to her how it sounded. A babysitter. "Is that all I am to you?" Therese's eyes seemed to ask. Carol had so desperately wanted to find a way to see her again, but her pride had gotten in the way.

_Why hadn't I just asked her to coffee or lunch? Because I would have had to have been truthful to myself about what is happening. About what I'm feeling. And that terrifies me. So I insulted her and shot myself in the foot. And now she’s haunting my dreams._

"Carol!" Abby's voice pulled her back to the store with a jerk of her head. "This gentleman asked you a question." Abby looked at her pointedly and was clearly annoyed, motioning toward the man in the gray jacket standing near her elbow.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My mind was wandering. What can I help you with?" She continued to assist the man and answer his questions about re-upholstering a love seat for the next 20 minutes, but her heart wasn't in it. Her heart was hurt, wounded, and needed healing. And as their conversation came to a close, she realized she couldn't continue to go on like this with her head in a cloud, her thoughts miles away.

As the man left their store, happy with his purchase and the new fabric he had chosen to re-upholster the love seat with, Carol turned to take the bolt of fabric to the back room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" scolded Abby. “You look like shit and it's not like you to ignore customers. You seem a million miles away. Where are you?"

"It's nothing. I just need some sleep."

"Like hell it is. You always need sleep. You're an insomniac and single mother. You forget I've known you for decades. Something else is going on. Is Rindy all right?"

"Rindy is perfect." Carol smiled. "She is a bright spot in my life."

"Good, because if something is going on with my precious goddaughter, I better be the first to know." Abby's harsh tone had taken on a loving look now. "And you're my best friend, so if something is bothering you, you can always tell me." She touched Carol on the elbow.

Carol pondered her options. _I’m having sex dreams about a woman I met in the grocery store and I asked her to babysit Rindy._ She decided no, that didn’t sound quite right and decided to go a different route.

"Thanks, Abby." Carol's appreciation softened her face into a smile. She placed her hand over Abby's. She knew that Abby would be a little hurt that she wasn't ready to confide in her, but she had to work through this mess she had made on her own.

Abby squeezed her elbow. "It wouldn't hurt if you got laid once in awhile, too, you nitwit."

Carol laughed at the unexpectedness of the comment, but a couple walked into the store just then and she was gratefully saved from having to continue that conversation. Carol knew Abby would have been happy to help her out in that department, as they had briefly done a few years ago, but Carol couldn't reciprocate Abby's love. At least not that kind of love. When she broke it off, it had almost cost them their friendship. She wouldn't risk that again. Abby meant too much to her.

 

* * *

 

By the time 6:30 rolled around, Carol was exhausted. Neither woman had found the time to even take a lunch break. Abby closed and locked the doors while Carol locked up valuables in the safe. They gathered their things and walked out the back door to their cars arm-in-arm.

"Get some rest tonight. We can't have you standing there staring off in space like a mannequin tomorrow. Remember, I'll be in Chicago the rest of the week." Abby looked at her, hoping to read something into Carol's state of mind.

"I will. And I'm sorry." Carol leaned over and kissed her good-bye on the cheek.

“Do you want me to see if Jeanette can help out?” Abby asked, concern on her face.

"No, I’ll be fine. The store will be in one piece when you return. I promise. Have a safe flight and have fun at the auctions." She leaned over and hugged her friend.

"You know it. Kiss my goddaughter for me," Abby replied, stepping toward her car.

"Always. Goodnight, Abby."

 

* * *

 

 

 

_I cried as I ran, faster and faster. What moves the leaves? What moves my heart, my legs? - Virginia Woolf_

 

When Carol dropped her off at her apartment, Therese had stumbled up the front steps, her eyes blinded with tears that fell on her clothing and the floor. She wondered what was happening to her. Was she going insane? She had gone home from the grocery store with someone she hadn't even known and now somehow her life was turned upside down in ways she couldn't have imagined. She blindly searched for her keys in her purse. Opening the door, she tossed her purse on the floor and went into the kitchen.

Standing at the kitchen counter, she drank a glass of water as she tried to calm the emotions inside her. Why had she been so hurt? It's not like she had known Carol for more than a day. Why was she so offended when Carol had asked her to babysit? She knew the answer, but it took all of her might to force herself to admit it. She didn't want to be a babysitter to Carol. She wanted to be so much more than that.

She set the empty glass down in the sink and wandered back to the living room. _There is no use dwelling on it anymore,_ she told herself, anger taking over as she stood at the window and stared down at the street below. Carol hadn't wanted anything more than a babysitter, and Therese knew she couldn't manage to be satisfied with only that. The answer was inevitable. _Get your shit together and do it now._ Whatever had happened this weekend was an anomaly, an aberration, and she needed to push it from her mind.

She simply couldn't bear to feel this way.

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Nothing thicker than a knife’s blade separates happiness from melancholy. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Therese spent Monday at The Times immersed in her job. They were so busy during the morning that she didn't even have time to notice what the weather was like outside the window. Her eyes and head ached from looking at a monitor for hours on end. Ironically though, she was grateful for the work because it kept her mind off of Carol. But she felt empty inside, as if the person she had been inside over the weekend had disintegrated and blown away.

At lunch she took a walk, needing to get away. She wandered aimlessly, carelessly bumping into strangers, while her mind ran marathons. It never occurred to her to eat.

She was confused and felt alone. She chortled to herself when it occurred to her that Richard had never made her feel this way when they had dated. He hadn't made her feel much of anything. She didn't even know what she was feeling now. There were no words. So many emotions wrapped themselves up into a giant ball inside her and left her sick and frightened. "This is nice," Carol had said. _What the hell was that supposed to mean?_ How could she whisper that and then ask Therese to be her hired help, nothing more than a service position. She was insulted and angry. She knew that she wanted Carol and she knew it left her feeling like this. She hated herself for it and she returned to work with a renewed vigor that fed voraciously off her anger.

When her friend Danny who worked upstairs stopped by late in the day and invited her to join him for a drink at a bar around the corner, she declined, bordering on rudeness, knowing that she had neither the inclination nor the tolerance to be around people. She was emotionally exhausted and just wanted to go home and crawl into bed.


	7. The Number

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the mythical seventh wave, I will take a moment here prior to Chapter 7 to sweep down upon you all with adoration and gratitude. I'm beyond humbled by your outpouring of support. 
> 
> I started writing this story early this year while I was waiting for my ao3 invitation. I've never written anything like this, or have ever even been inspired to do so. In fact, the past points toward the exact opposite. I hated writing. My university required an hour-long written essay to determine each freshman's placement in English writing classes. I worked feverishly hard for that hour filling my little blue book as perfectly as I could. Yes, it had to be handwritten, in pen, so little room for errors. I was elated when I received my score and I had tested high enough that I wasn't required to take ANY English writing classes. I felt as though I had been issued a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card. How things have changed.
> 
> The chapters may not always post so quickly. While I've had these chapters lined up like dominoes ready to fall for some time, I have a little more work to do now. But know I'm working on it.
> 
> This fandom is the best... so attentive and observant and effusive with praise. I'm very lucky. Thank you.
> 
> * * *

 

_I am left alone to find an answer. The figures mean nothing now. Meaning has gone. The clock ticks. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Carol picked Rindy up from daycare, guilty for the lateness of the hour and knowing the child was going to be hungry and tired. As soon as they arrived home, Carol put Rindy in her high chair and went about preparing food for her. Rindy had only recently started eating solid foods. Normally Carol made all the baby food she fed her, cooking it and freezing it so she could control what her daughter ate and not leave it up to baby food manufacturers. However, she needed to spend some time replenishing Rindy's food options as the choices in the freezer were slim. Due to the time, Carol decided to puree some sticky rice with some banana for her. She knew that, along with her bottle, would make her baby happy. Rindy was already getting impatient and starting to bang her palms on the high chair tray. "Just a minute, little one. I'm sorry," she said to her daughter.

She opened the refrigerator. Someone could have slapped her and she would have felt less. Her eyes fell on Therese's Chinese Chicken Salad. Her stomach rolled and she swallowed hard. These reminders were killing her. What was going to happen tonight when her idle hands couldn't keep her mind at bay? She dreaded the thought of having no work or menial chores that would allow her time to think. She didn't need this. She picked up the salad and threw it in the trash, causing the stainless steel lid of the garbage can to spin wildly around.

Carol took the leftover rice out of the refrigerator and put it in the graduated cup that came with her immersion blender. She added a tiny bit of filtered water. She turned around to pluck a ripe banana from the basket next to refrigerator when something unusual caught her eye.

There, on the same scrap of paper that Abby had written the phone number for her hotel, was some unfamiliar writing. The sight of it made her stomach flip and she inadvertently held her breath. There was only one word written down. _Therese._ Below it was a phone number.

 

* * *

 

_She felt ... how life, from being made up of little separate incidents which one lived one by one, became curled and whole like a wave which bore one up with it and threw one down with it, there, with a dash on the beach. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Just as she had planned, Therese went home and crashed. Granted, she had accomplished an admirable amount of work today, but it had taken a toll on her. Well, at least that's what she told herself. Truthfully, all the time she had spent trying to push images of Carol from her mind had caused her great mental fatigue. Carol sitting in the moonlight, Carol's hair in the morning sun, the adoration in her eyes when she looked at her daughter, the way she looked so peaceful as she slept next to Therese.

The thoughts drove her mad. She felt sick. She didn't eat. It's not like she had an appetite, but it's not like she had any options either. Her refrigerator contained just as few items as it did Friday night and she certainly wasn't making a foray to the grocery store tonight. _Food is overrated,_ she thought. _Food sustains._ She didn't feel like being sustained. She felt like hibernating, wrapping herself in blankets, and settling in for the winter. She pulled out a cold stout from the refrigerator, a staple that she thankfully had on hand. She popped the top with a bottle opener and downed a third of the bottle on the first swig. She stood in front of the television mindlessly staring at a show she didn't care about while she finished the rest. With her last swallow, she turned off the TV, set the bottle on the coffee table, and shut the light off on her way out of the room.

She stripped her clothes off, tossing them toward her hamper. Entering the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and looked at herself in the mirror. Gray circles surrounded her eyes. Her skin appeared whiter than it normally did, making her appear ghostly. She felt as ethereal as she looked, as if whatever substance she had consisted of before was vaporizing. She was no longer grounded, but a shell of herself that threatened to float away. She turned off the light before she disappeared and crawled into bed.

 

* * *

 

A buzzing noise woke Therese with a start. She raised her head and looked at the time on the clock next to her bed. _11:12pm._ The room was dimly lit from the rising moon. Her hand reached for the maker of the offending noise. Fingers grasped her cell phone and she turned it over. She had a text message from a number she didn't recognize. Her heart starting beating in double time.

> Can I come see you tomorrow?

Her phone didn't identify who the sender was, but somehow she knew without a doubt. She hesitated momentarily before typing her reply.

> Yes. I get home at 6:00

She waited, but no other text arrived. She flopped back onto her pillow. _Carol._ No extraneous words, no apology or explanation, she didn't even bother identifying herself, yet Therese felt elation coursing through her body from a simple text. Carol must have found her number on the refrigerator. Therese smiled at the ceiling.

She was thrilled at the prospect of seeing Carol again, but anxious and a little annoyed at the same time. She had no idea what to expect when Carol arrived tomorrow. _What would happen? What would they say? How long would she be there? Does she plan to stay for dinner?_ She had plenty of time to think of these questions and ponder the answers. She knew she wasn't going to get much more sleep tonight. She wondered if Carol would get any either. She stared at the glow of the moon outside her bedroom window.

 

* * *

 

_The moment was all; the moment was enough. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Miles away, Carol breathed a sigh of relief. Therese had replied to her text. She set her cell phone down on the arm of her Adirondack chair and looked up at the partial moon against the cloudless night sky as she sipped her drink.

While her attitude had immediately improved when Therese responded and with the knowledge she would lay eyes on her in less than 24 hours, she also worried about how the meeting would go. They needed to talk, but the prospect was both thrilling and terrifying at the same time and Carol wasn't sure either one of them was ready. _It's risky, putting yourself out there,_ thought Carol. _What if I'm reading more into this than there really is? What if she doesn't feel the same way?_ But then she thought that if Therese hadn't felt something for her, then her question wouldn't have wounded Therese like it did. She still remembered the hurt look on Therese's face. Still, her doubts crept in like thieves in the night. _But what if she thinks I'm too old? What if she doesn't want to be with someone who has a child?_

Carol finally decided she would just simply ask Therese to do something. _Coffee perhaps. Or maybe lunch would be better. Lunch lasts longer than coffee,_ she told herself, and God knows, she wanted to spend as much time with Therese as possible. However, dinner felt too much like a date. Carol wasn't sure she could handle that yet, without knowing Therese's state of mind. _Just ask her to do something, you nitwit._

She decided she would bring Rindy with her. Rindy was as good of an ice breaker as any, and Therese seemed to genuinely like her daughter. Otherwise, she would have to find a sitter with Abby out of town, and that might make their meeting feel too formal if she went that route. Carol looked to the moon again wishing she could speed up time.


	8. Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just posted two chapters in quick succession, so make sure you get Ch. 7 prior to Ch. 8.
> 
> * * *

 

 

_With every word the mist which had enveloped them, making them seem unreal to each other, since the previous afternoon melted a little further, and their contact became more and more natural. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Carol stood on the stoop of Therese's apartment building and scanned the list of tenant names. Setting the car carrier with Rindy in it at her feet, she used her free hand to press the button marked "645 Belivet, T." She traced her finger over the name and waited. It was 6:27pm.

"Hello?" Therese's voice greeted her like the sunrise.

"Therese," Carol began, but the door buzzed open immediately. She entered the foyer with Rindy's carrier in one hand, her large purse that doubled as a diaper bag over her shoulder, and a white plastic bag with handles in the other. Stopping in front of the elevator, she used a knuckle of the finger on the hand carrying the plastic bag to press the arrow pointing up. The doors opened and she entered the tiny, cramped space. She was just grateful the elevator was in working order. Her arms were already starting to tire.

As the elevator opened on the sixth floor, she inhaled nervously and stepped into the hallway. "Here we go. Wish me luck," she said quietly to Rindy. Turning to her right, she continued to number 645.

She wore a simple white button-up shirt partially buttoned over a black tank top and jeans. She wanted to appear casual although her head was already spinning from nervousness. Again she used a knuckle of the hand holding the white plastic bag and rapped lightly on the door. Soft footsteps emanated from the space beneath the door and Therese swung it open.

 _She's stunning,_ thought Carol, _more beautiful than I remember._ Therese had pulled her dark hair back into a sleek ponytail that accentuated her cheekbones and deep green eyes. A similarly-colored button down shirt hung over simply denim jeans. Her feet were bare.

Neither woman said anything at first, their eyes locked on each other. Finally, Carol snapped to and held out the plastic bag. "I brought Chinese in case you're hungry."

Therese took it from her and stepped back against the wall to allow Carol to enter. Carol carried Rindy inside and set the carrier down. She dropped her large purse next to it. Glancing at the living room, Carol noticed Therese's apartment was sparsely furnished, but neat and clean. When Carol turned around, Therese was kneeling in front of Rindy.

"Hi, sweet girl! Don't you look cute today. You're so happy." Looking up at Carol, she asked, "Can I hold her?"

"Of course," Carol responded, wishing Therese had greeted her so warmly, but thrilled at the same time at the affection she showed toward her daughter.

Therese unbuckled Rindy and lifted her up. Rindy smiled and grabbed for her ponytail. "I like your jumper," she said to Rindy. Rindy's outfit had red ladybugs and yellow butterflies on it today. The little girl was fascinated with Therese's eyes and face, placing her chubby hands on Therese's cheeks. Frankly, Carol couldn't blame her. Therese's dimples made her want to do the same.

Turning to Carol, she said, "Let's go into the kitchen," and nodded her head in the direction. Therese leaned over and looped her hand through the plastic bag she had left on the floor and followed Carol with Rindy and the food.

"There are plates in there," Therese said, pointing to a cupboard at eye level as she deposited the bag of Chinese food on one of the wooden kitchen chairs. She flopped down on another one of the chairs and allowed Rindy to stand on the tops of her thighs. She held Rindy under her arms and around her chest as the baby clumsily wobbled and jumped, happy to have her feet in contact with something. Carol retrieved the plates and set them on the table.

"Silverware?"

"Next to the sink," answered Therese, her eyes still on Rindy.

Carol opened the drawer and removed two forks and a couple of spoons for serving. "I brought chopsticks too, if you prefer."

"A fork is fine. I'm not very good with chopsticks," Therese answered.

Carol set the silverware on the table and opened the bag.

Therese looked up and they made eye contact. Therese smiled the smile that Carol loved, the one that made her dimples appear and her eyes sparkle. Carol quickly looked back to the food, feeling her face flush. Her nervous fingers brought white container after white container out of the bag. She lined them up in a makeshift row on the table. Running her manicured nail under the edges, she popped the containers open. She noticed some steam rise and was happy the food was still hot.

"Thank you for bringing food. It smells delicious. I'm starving," Therese admitted. She tried to remember the last time she had an appetite.

"It's from my favorite Chinese restaurant. Abby or I often pick up lunch from them because they're close to the store."

Therese turned Rindy around and sat her on her lap. "Abby is your business partner?" Therese asked, suddenly more interested in Carol than Rindy, Carol noticed acutely.

"Yes, and my best friend. And Rindy's godmother. We've known each other since we were children." She glanced at Therese as she waved her hand over the food. "Do you want me to make you a plate or do you want to do it yourself?"

"You can, if you don’t mind," Therese replied. "I don't really know what's good."

"It's all good, Therese." Just saying the younger woman's name aloud created a feeling of joy in her chest.

"You've fed me twice now," Therese said as Carol set a plate of food down in front of her. "The next time it's my turn to feed you."

"Well, I'll hold you to that then," said Carol, secretly elated. Another meal meant seeing Therese again. It meant that perhaps Therese had forgiven her. Carol was pleased that Therese seemed open to the prospect of seeing her again, too.

"I'm not promising I'll cook for you. You've set the bar kind of high," Therese joked.

"That's all right. I'm sure I'll love whatever it is," Carol said honestly, as she set her plate down and pulled out a chair across from Therese. "Shall I take her?" Carol asked, gesturing toward Rindy.

"I can hold her. It's not often I get to hold babies and you probably haven't eaten with both hands free in awhile."

 _She’s young, but so thoughtful and perceptive,_ thought Carol. "Thank you.” Carol tore the paper from a pair of chopsticks and broke them apart. "Bon appétit."

"What about her? I don't know that I have anything here that she can eat," worried Therese, tipping her head toward Rindy.

"I brought something for her. It's in my bag. I'll feed her when we're finished. Enjoy your food."

Therese picked up her fork and held Rindy to her left has she ate with her plate to the right, out of the child's reach. They ate in companionable silence. They only spoke when Therese offered Carol beer or water to drink. Carol retrieved two cold beers from the fridge and located a bottle opener under Therese's direction.

Carol noticed that Therese did indeed appear as hungry as she had claimed. Not only did she finish all the different dishes Carol had put on her plate, but she had seconds of fried rice and an additional egg roll. Carol wondered if she had eaten since she had last seen her.

As Therese finished, Carol leaned back and crossed her legs, taking occasional sips of her beer and watching the two of them.

"Oh," Therese finally groaned. "Get me away from this food. It's too good."

Carol laughed. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it? I'm going to have to buy new clothes tomorrow." Therese grinned. "Let's go in the living room. We can watch a movie or something. I'll clean up in a little bit."

"Do you mind if I feed Rindy while we watch?"

Therese just looked at her and scowled at the idiocy of the question. "Ok then." Carol laughed. "Let me just warm it up in the microwave a little and then I'll take her from you."

While Carol pulled the baby food and a bottle from her bag, Therese carried Rindy into the living room and turned on the television. "What kind of movies do you like?" Carol heard her ask.

"Anything except horror or scary thrillers. I have enough issues with sleeping," Carol said, determined.

"How does _The English Patient_ sound?"

"Wonderful. I love that movie. The cinematography is gorgeous."

Carol brought out a small dish of pureed sweet potato, Rindy's baby spoon, and a bottle and set them down on the coffee table.

Walking over to the opposite wall, Carol stood in front of a collection of black and white photos. Her eyes scanned images as she stood there silently, one hand on her stomach and the other arm behind her back. When she finished her contemplation, she turned to Therese. "These are wonderful."

"Thank you." Therese squirmed, uncomfortable with the compliment.

Therese was sitting with Rindy on one end of the couch. Carol leaned over Therese as she picked up her daughter. She knew that both she and Therese were keenly aware of each place their bodies brushed against the other as Rindy came to her mother. As Carol settled on the other end of the couch, she could still feel the spots on her skin, like they had been marked in invisible ink. Carol pulled Rindy's yellow bib from where she had tucked it in her back pocket and tied it in place around the girl's neck. Therese had started the movie and Carol's eyes swept across the great expanse of undulating hills of sand on the screen. When the beautiful melody soared at the same time the yellow plane entered the screen, Carol kicked off her shoes, and settled back against the couch.

Therese leaned forward and picked up the sweet potatoes and the spoon and handed them to Carol.

"Thank you."

Therese only responded by running her fingers over the curls on Rindy's head before sitting back against the cushions. The memory of Therese running her fingers through Carol's hair suddenly flashed across Carol's mind and she felt a need develop inside of her. It was still in its infantile stages, but it had made its presence known. She desperately tried to focus on feeding her daughter and watching the movie. But every time she turned to feed Rindy another bite, she used it as an excuse to steal a look at Therese. The young woman had pulled her legs under her and was clutching a throw pillow like she had needed to find a replacement for Rindy in her lap.

Rindy was hungry and she liked sweet potatoes, so it took little time for Carol to finish feeding her. "I'm going to change her before I give her the bottle because she'll probably fall asleep on me," Carol said, almost apologetically.

"Do you need anything? Should I pause the movie?" asked Therese.

"No, it will just take me a minute." Carol set the baby on the floor next to her bag and began pulling things out.

"I'm going to put the food away," Therese announced, getting up to walk to the kitchen.

When Therese returned, Carol was sitting sideways on the couch with her knees up and her back resting against some throw pillows. Rindy was tucked into her arm near the back of the couch and the child's head rested on her breast. Her eyes fluttered as she drank her bottle. Therese sat back down on her end of the couch, but left her legs hanging off the couch in front of her this time as if she was afraid to get too close to Carol. Carol gently wedged her toes under Therese's thigh. In her peripheral vision, she saw Therese hold her breath and then exhale unevenly. Therese looked down before she rested her right hand on the tops of Carol's feet. Her warm hand in place, she returned her eyes to the screen. Carol felt the warmth travel up through her body and briefly closed her eyes as she savored the feeling of their simple contact.

 

* * *

 

 

_Our hands touch, our bodies burst into fire. The chair, the cup, the table - nothing remains unlit. All quivers, all kindles, all burns clear. - Virginia Woolf_

 

The credits rolled. Therese pulled her eyes from the television to turn and look at the two people sitting beside her. Carol's eyes were closed and she was sleeping peacefully. Rindy was sprawled asleep on her stomach with her head nestled under Carol's chin. Therese stared at them for some time, just enjoying the sweet moment.

She carefully stood up from the couch and walked into her bedroom. Opening the top drawer of her dresser, she pulled out her camera and returned to the living room. As quietly as she could, she knelt down beside mother and daughter and took a single picture. Lowering the camera, she let her eyes wander over Carol's face. Her skin was flawless, her long lashes brushing against the soft skin above her cheekbones, her lips slightly parted as she breathed softly. Her eyes wandered lower to the hollow of Carol's throat.  _Her suprasternal notch,_ Therese thought, giving a mental nod to the film. She wondered what it would feel like to softly place her lips there. She quickly pushed the image from her mind.

Therese deposited the camera back in her bedroom before returning to the living room to clear the baby's bottle and dishes from the coffee table. She lifted the flat top of the coffee table and retrieved a quilt from inside. Standing up, she shook out the folds of the quilt and gently laid it on mother and daughter. Concerned that Rindy might roll off the couch, Therese placed extra pillows on the floor next to Carol to provide a safe place for her to land, just in case. She placed the gentlest of kisses on Rindy's head and softly laid her hand on Carol's forehead. Satisfied with her efforts, she turned the television off and switched off the light before she walked down the hall.

Entering her bathroom, she shut the door quietly. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. Therese looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't help but smile when she thought of Carol sleeping on her couch. The scenario seemed so impossible yesterday at this time. She left the bathroom light on and partially closed the door so that it was only open a crack, providing a thin shaft of light to softly illuminate the small apartment.

Entering her bedroom, she didn't need to turn on any lights as she found her pajamas and changed in the dark. Therese crawled between the sheets and laid there staring up at the ceiling, surprised at how utterly content she felt. She looked forward to the morning. Sleep came quickly.

 

* * *

 

 

_Never are voices so beautiful as on a winter's evening, when dusk almost hides the body, and they seem to issue from nothingness with a note of intimacy seldom heard by day. -Virginia Woolf_

 

Her hand was numb and tingly from being lodged between her head and the pillow. She pulled it free, flexed it, and she noticed her apartment was now completely dark through her barely-open eyes. As she changed her arm’s position and brought it down, her elbow collided with something on her hip. Her fingers ran over its shape. An arm was lazily draped across her waist.

_Carol._

She froze, exhilarated and terrified. Apparently, Carol had left the couch at some point. She was so close that Therese could smell her perfume. Therese's mind raced. She wondered if Carol had unknowingly put her arm over her in her sleep or if it had been done intentionally. She laid her arm down on top of Carol's arm as gently as she could, fingers overlaying fingers. The last thing she wanted to do was to disturb Carol and cause her to take her arm away. Instead, the arm tightened around her, pulling her close. She felt Carol's body press against her back and she wondered how she could ever be expected to sleep again.

The question regarding whether Carol knew her arm was around Therese was answered when she heard Carol quietly say, "Breathe." Therese did as she was ordered, unaware she had been holding her breath. She inhaled in staccato gasps as if she had been crying.

Then Carol whispered, her lips close to Therese's ear, "I didn't really want you to be my babysitter."

Therese's mind exploded behind closed lids in colors unseen to the human eye. "I didn't want to be just a babysitter to you," she answered. Bittersweet tears filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Carol let out a raspy breath. "I panicked." The darkness of the night allowed to be said that which was too frightening to utter in the light.

Therese didn't answer, but simply pulled Carol's arm around her tighter.


	9. One More Day

 

_I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river, to me you're everything that exists; the reality of everything. -Virginia Woolf_

 

The rest of the week was a veritable deluge of things to do for both of them. Carol had everything in her hands at the store with Abby being out of town. For the rest of the week its entire operation was her responsibility. Opening it, staffing it, paperwork, accounting, everything was on her shoulders until Abby returned on Saturday.

For Therese, it wasn't much different. They were short two photographers in the field this week due to one being sick and one on her honeymoon, so the rest of the staff had to pick up the slack. Tasks that the photographers would normally do in the office were being pushed off down the line so they could maximize their time out on the stories. Therese was overloaded and had spent additional hours at the office all week.

The most unfortunate effect of all the extra hours that she had to work was that she hadn't seen Carol since the other morning. They hadn't spoken much that morning either, since both of them needed to go to work and Carol needed to go home first in order to get herself and Rindy ready.

However busy she was at work though, Therese's thoughts kept wandering back to Carol sitting up in bed in just her tank top, and how she swung her long legs over the bed as she reached down for her jeans and slipped them on.

Therese had gone to the living room to find Rindy sleeping between the arm of the couch and a pillow, with the pillows Therese had placed on the floor still there, acting as a safety net.

After her shower, Carol gathered all her things and put Rindy in her car carrier. As Therese walked them to the door, and Carol turned to her, Therese noticed Carol's shirt wasn't buttoned correctly, one shirttail hanging lower than the other.

"Here," she said, stepping forward. "Your shirt… let me… fix it.” Hesitantly, she unbuttoned the button almost directly between Carol’s breasts.

Carol was frozen in place. Slowly, so as to minimize any unnecessary contact, Therese methodically unbuttoned and buttoned Carol's shirt from top to bottom. Despite her caution, she was utterly conscious every time the backs of her fingers brushed against Carol as Carol took a breath. She was aware of Carol's eyes on her at first, and then she thought she saw Carol's eyes close the lower she worked.

When she finished, she stood back up and playfully tugged one of Carol's shirt tails. "There," she said proudly, more pride in her bravado than in the work she did. Still unable to meet Carol's eyes, she bent down and brushed the little girl's cheek. "Bye, baby." A slight but awkward silence followed.

Carol stepped across the threshold and turned around. Therese looked up at her. Carol's eyes pierced right through her. Carol cleared her throat. "I was wondering if perhaps you would like to come spend the weekend at my place.” Her eyes darted nervously to the floor. “Would you?”

Therese patiently waited for Carol to meet her gaze again before she answered. "Yes, Carol. I would.” Therese smiled.

Carol's eyes lit up and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, but all she said was, "Goodbye, Therese."

 

* * *

 

_To whom shall I give all that now flows through me, from my warm, my porous body? - Virginia Woolf_

 

Despite their busy work lives, Wednesday and Thursday passed in excruciatingly slow fashion for both women. Therese got home after dark Thursday night, ate a few bites of leftover Chinese food and a cold egg roll, and then opened the door to the utility room she had converted into her darkroom. She had taken the last couple pictures on her way to work that morning, the sun barely peeking above the horizon and the city not yet bustling with activity, although truthfully she really didn't care about the last couple of pictures on the roll. There was really only one picture on the entire roll that she wanted to see.

When she finally turned that photo over in the chemical tray with her tongs, careful not to slosh the fluid from the tray, it was exactly as she remembered it - mother and baby sleeping like angels, on her couch, in her apartment, capturing her heart. She made two copies and hung them up to dry. Therese cleaned up, washed her hands, and flopped down on the couch. She tried to summon the energy to go to bed.

The television provided background noise for her wandering mind. She wondered what Carol was doing, how her week was going, if perhaps Carol was thinking of her. Her phone buzzed, the vibration amplified against the coffee table. She picked it up and looked at the screen.

> Rindy misses you

As Therese stared at her phone, her heart melted. She smiled stupidly, and tried to picture Carol being playful. She decided she liked it. She tried to conjure up a suitable response when her phone vibrated again.

> I miss you

This time, her chest simply hurt with all the love she felt. Therese held the phone in her hands as if it was Carol's heart. She wanted to press it against her chest until it touched hers, merging them together for eternity. Instead, she inhaled, held her breath and typed back:

> I miss both of you

She added:

> One more day

* * *

 

Carol readied the store and prepared to unlock the doors. She secretly hoped the morning wouldn't be too busy. The past few days had been crazy and she wanted to have to store looking its best for Abby's return tomorrow. Plus, she had plans to make.

Normally a week like this would have driven her into the ground. Abby's travel created twice as much work for Carol, but then again, Abby had graciously volunteered to go on the buying trips when Carol adopted Rindy. So while Carol had more to do at the store and worked longer hours, at least she didn't have to leave Rindy behind or drag her along on long flights.

This week, however, was different. She was working more and sleeping even less, but she somehow felt alive with energy. Carol smoothed her skirt and looked around. She thought Abby would be proud of all she had accomplished this week. _Abby, dear sweet Abby. That's a conversation that will have to happen soon,_ she thought. But at the moment, she had other more important things to deal with.

She waited until after 9:00am so as to not seem overeager and then texted Therese.

> Shall I pick you up tonight?

An answer arrived almost immediately

> Thanks, but I can drive over.

Carol texted her back.

> Come anytime after 6:30.

Carol waited, hoping for a response. Therese replied:

> Can I bring anything?

Carol thought about it for a moment. It was a kind gesture, but she couldn't think of anything she needed for the weekend. She had already shopped the night before and the house was stocked. Smiling, she simply typed:

> You know what I want.

 

* * *

 

_We are not simple as our friends would have us to meet their needs. Yet love is simple. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Dannie stopped by Therese's desk late in the afternoon.

"Hey, Belivet! The Flatiron Room has live music tonight. Are you going to join us?" he asked excitedly, sitting on the corner of her desk and playing with her stapler.

"No, I don't think so," There's replied, not ready to divulge any information about Carol yet, even though she and Dannie were close.

"Is it because Richard might be there?" He stopped playing with the stapler and returned it to her desk.

"No," Therese answered truthfully.

"Do you think you two will ever get together again?" Dannie asked, suddenly serious.

"No," she said, a tad more forcefully than probably necessary.

"Why not? I thought you liked each other."

She looked at him, eager to find a way to end the conversation quickly. "We did like each other. Sometimes that's not enough.” She sighed. “Plus, Richard knew exactly what he wanted. He had a plan. I didn't know what I wanted, and I couldn't just make myself."

"So, now that you're not with him, do you have a better idea of what you want?"

She was going to be cavalier and blow off the question, but upon thinking about it, she said reflectively, "Yes. Yes, I do." Something about how she said it told Dannie the conversation had run its course. He stood up.

"Live music ... you like live music, don't you? Beer - I know you like beer. Don't forget. We'll be there if you change your mind."

"Thanks, Dannie."

He nearly skipped as he left her desk, carefree and excited that the weekend had arrived. As she watched him walk away, she admitted to herself that she was excited for the weekend, too.


	10. The Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Chapters 9 and 10 just posted close together, so make sure you didn't miss the former.

_The veil drops between us. I am admitted to the warmth and privacy of another soul. - Virginia Woolf_

Carol opened the refrigerator to chill a bottle of wine when she heard a car pull into her driveway soon after 6:30. She glanced at Rindy happily playing with some toys on a blanket on the floor before she went to open the door. She swung it open as Therese made her way up the front steps. She looked gorgeous. Her dark hair hung freely and blew lightly in the wind. A black bag was slung over her shoulder. Her green eyes sparkled and a smile sprang to her face when she saw Carol there.

"Hi." Therese hesitantly stopped.

Beaming, Carol just leaned against the doorframe and watched her, amazed at just how happy she was to see Therese again. The feeling was greater than she imagined. She wondered if she had ever felt this way before. Certainly not with Harge. She was usually excited to see Abby, but this was different. Even when they had been involved in their affair, it hadn’t been like this.

Extending her arm, Therese offered a bouquet of crimson-colored lilies to Carol. "I brought these for you."

"Thank you. They're beautiful." Carol noticed the slight blush on Therese’s cheeks as she reached out to take them, letting her fingers brush over the younger woman's before closing her eyes and inhaling. "Divine." She opened her eyes to meet two beautiful green ones. "Come in."

Therese dropped her bag and sprawled out on the floor next to Rindy. “Hi, little one. I missed your cute face,” she said, running her fingers through blonde curls as she watched Rindy play with her toys on the blanket. The little girl chewed maniacally on a wooden ring with colorful beads, her saliva seemingly everywhere. Carol put the flowers in a simple white vase with some water and set them on the glass coffee table. She elegantly sat down on the sofa near Therese and her daughter, crossing her legs at the ankles.

“How was life at The Times this week?” Carol asked.

Therese wobbled a little stuffed rabbit and a bell in its stomach made clanging sounds. “Busy, actually. We’ve been shorthanded all week. I’m definitely ready for the weekend.”

She bounced the stuffed rabbit toward Rindy and the child erupted in giggles. 

“How was the furniture store?” Therese touched the rabbit’s nose to Rindy's tummy and the giggling only increased. 

“Also busy,” Carol admitted. She smiled and reached for her cell phone on the coffee table. Therese pulled herself up to sit cross-legged and hopped the bunny up to Rindy's belly again. Giggling filled the room as Carol knelt on her knees and took a photo with her phone. She placed her phone back on the coffee table as she rose from her kneeling position.

Therese glanced sideways at Carol’s hand before her head suddenly snapped around to face her. She furrowed her brows and asked loudly, "What was on your phone?" as she reached for the device. Carol, who had just settled back on the couch lunged forward at lightning speed, trying to get there first. Her hand clasped around the phone, but Therese had managed to get her hand underneath. Thrown off balance by Carol's lunging, both women rolled to the floor, struggling for the phone and trying not to laugh.

"Let. Go!" Carol ordered, playfully but forcefully, struggling with Therese. Hands reached and grabbed, fingers on ribs, hair obscuring vision, bodies rolling, arching. The rabbit clanged, pinned somewhere between them.

"Make me," came Therese's muffled reply. Rindy just sat motionless watching the ruckus with her mouth open. The room became a jumble of hands and arms and wrists and bodies pressed together for leverage. More laughter and wrestling followed until both women were out of breath.

"Please give it back, Therese," Carol finally begged, gasping but smiling. Despite losing, she was enjoying herself. _She’s stronger than she looks,_ thought Carol, appraising the smaller woman. Even though Carol had her pinned to the floor, Therese still held the phone out of Carol’s reach, her eyes sparkling mischievously. Carol sat back, allowing Therese to sit up.

"Fine, but I saw it," Therese conceded, smirking and tossing her the cell phone.

Carol fumbled it once, twice before she caught it, shock on her face and at a loss for words. She sat down on the edge of the couch, her phone resting in her limp hand. Therese jumped up and walked over to her black bag on the floor.

"I have something for you,” Therese said, her excitement evident.

"You already brought me flowers," Carol said, a puzzled look on her face, surprised by non-sequitur.

"This is different,” she said mysteriously.

Therese withdrew a thin, black folder from her bag. She slid a thick piece of paper from it and walked back to the couch. Sitting next to Carol, she handed her the photograph she had developed the night before.

As Carol's eyes absorbed what had been placed in her hands, her face spontaneously radiated the happiness that flooded her soul. She felt Therese watching her as her smile spread across her face. She tried not to cry. The love in her heart spilled outward as she looked at the picture of her and her daughter.

"Therese," she said softly, "you're so talented." She met Therese's eyes, gray locked on green. The young woman's quiet reply came forth so genuinely that Carol wondered if it just slipped out.

"You're magnificent."

Carol leaned forward and put her arms around Therese's thin shoulders. Therese's arms wrapped around Carol, timidly at first, but with growing conviction. Carol could smell the clean scent of Therese’s hair against her face.

"Thank you, darling,” she whispered in her ear.

* * *

_This is the most exciting moment I have ever known. I flutter. I ripple. I stream like a plant in the river, flowing this way, flowing that way, but rooted. - Virginia Woolf_

Therese sat on the couch, ready to burst. She could feel the warm flush on her face without needing a mirror to verify it was there. Carol had hugged her tightly. She thought she could still smell Carol's perfume. Perhaps some of it rubbed off on her where they came in contact. The thought excited her. But this paled in comparison to what she felt when she had glimpsed the screen on Carol's phone. Therese knew why Carol had fought so hard for it. She recognized the image immediately because she saw it in the mirror every day.

It was her.

The background on Carol's phone was the photo that Carol had taken of Therese holding Rindy in Carol's bed. Except that Rindy was barely in the photo. Therese saw herself, carefree and smiling, kissing Rindy's toes to make her laugh.


	11. Shooting Star

 

_All was dim, yet intense too, as if the scarf which the dusk had flung over the garden were torn asunder by star or sword. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Dinner consisted of a simple Caesar salad and crusty French bread. Therese had watched as Carol made the dressing from scratch in the bottom of the salad bowl, rubbing a smashed garlic clove around the bowl before mashing it together with two anchovies using Kosher salt to grind it to a paste. She added a bit of Dijon mustard, a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce, and squeezed in some fresh lemon juice before dropping in a raw egg yolk and whisking in just enough good olive oil to form the perfect emulsion. She finished it off with lots of freshly cracked black pepper and large shavings of Parmigiano-Reggiano. Carol explained that while it was common to serve grilled chicken on a Caesar salad, a truly delicious Caesar salad required restraint. Therese snuck warm croutons fresh from the oven, while Carol playfully batted her hand away. Pinot Grigio out on the deck followed their meal while Rindy finished her bottle in Carol's lap.

Therese sipped her wine and enjoyed the scenery while Carol took Rindy inside to bathe and get her ready for bed. It wasn't long though before Therese appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. Carol bent over the small baby bathtub nestled in the larger bathtub to rinse the shampoo from Rindy's hair.

Carol looked up. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I was just lonely," Therese said, shrugging her shoulders sheepishly.

Carol held her gaze with a small smile before she picked Rindy up and wrapped her in a canary yellow terrycloth towel. The entire bathroom smelled of clean baby. Rindy exuded fatigue and yawned as Carol dried her blonde curls with a corner of the towel. Therese continued to stand in the doorway, just watching quietly. Carol picked up a comb from the counter and ran it through the baby’s hair.

"All right, sweet pea, let's go find your pajamas."

Therese suddenly rushed from the doorway. "I almost forgot!" Carol heard her exclaim as Therese ran towards the living room. Carol followed her, curious, Rindy nestled in her arm. Therese was bent over her bag again, tossing clothing aside as she searched for something. She finally pulled out a small package wrapped loosely in white tissue paper. She stood up and handed it to Carol proudly, her dimples showing.

"What's this?" Carol asked, cocking her head to the side.

"It's for Rindy," Therese replied eagerly, dimples popping. "Open it.” She gestured to the package.

Carol shook the soft package with a wink. Therese laughed. Carol held the package in her hand closest to Rindy and pulled the tissue paper away with her free hand. She was left holding a soft pair of pajamas with small trains dotted across the fabric in green, blue, and yellow pastels.

"Therese, these are wonderful!” She turned to Rindy. “Sweetheart, look at your new pajamas. Shall we put them on you for tonight?" Rindy batted at them with one hand and tried to pull them away. Carol leaned forward and drew Therese to her with her free arm. "Thank you." Carol pressed a quick kiss to Therese’s temple.

Therese turned a bright shade of red and splotches appeared on the exposed part of her chest. Carol adored the way she blushed and spent a moment or two admiring it before leaving the room.

"I'm going to finish changing her. I'll be right back."

 _She bought my daughter a gift. Who does that?_ Even Abby, for as much as she loved Rindy, had said more than once, “A baby isn't going to remember getting a gift. I'll spoil her rotten once she's old enough to remember it.” But this gesture was so unexpected, so generous. Something between awe, and joy, and gratitude - and something much more - swam inside her. And the last one terrified her. So many questions still remained unanswered. Could she afford to put all her eggs in this basket? Risking her heart was one issue, but did she have the right to risk breaking her daughter’s heart as well? And on the other hand, her concern for Therese was real, too. She wondered how long someone in her twenties would really want to be involved with a divorcee in her thirties who had an infant. Was she being unfair to Therese who still had so few life experiences? Did Therese really know what she was getting into? Carol wasn't interested in a casual fling. Too much was at stake. She turned her mind toward the impending bedtime.

Carol quickly grabbed a diaper from the nursery and put the new pajamas on the blonde little girl. They were a perfect fit, the footed pajamas neither too short nor too long. She carried Rindy back to the living area where Therese was sitting at the counter. Therese turned and smiled to see Rindy in the pajamas. She held out her arms and Carol handed the little girl over.

"Aw, you look cute," Therese said to the child. "Maybe someday I'll get you a real train."

Carol smiled and realized she smiled quite often when Therese was around, something she hadn't done in quite some time.

"Okay, girls, it's bedtime for the little one," she decreed.

Therese pulled Rindy close and timidly kissed her cheek, whispering goodnight before she glanced at Carol sheepishly, almost as if she hoped Carol wouldn't mind. As she handed her back, Carol said, "You're so good to her," and put her hand on Therese's shoulder for a moment. _And to me._ She gently squeezed and released, although she desperately wanted to feel Therese's radiating warmth longer. She felt Therese's eyes on her as she walked away.

"I'll be right back. Pour us some more wine, would you, darling?" she called back over her shoulder as she exited the room.

* * *

 

_There was a star riding through clouds one night, and I said to the star, “Consume me”. -Virginia Woolf_

 

When Carol returned from putting Rindy to bed, Therese was sitting at the counter next to two glasses of wine, the wine in the glass closest to her slightly lower than the other. She had been reading her phone. Dannie had texted, hoping to get her to come to the bar again tonight, saying it would be good for her. She told him she couldn't tonight. At some point, she was going to have to find a way to explain all this. But how could she? She couldn't even properly explain it to herself. Everything she was feeling was new and the feeling was vibrant and pristine and hers. She wasn't ready just yet to share Carol with her friends, even in conversation. She put her phone away in her pocket.

"You don't have to do that on my account,” Carol said, motioning to the stowed away phone as she came back to the kitchen.

"It's all right. I was finished. My friend Dannie from work just wanted me to come out drinking with some friends tonight.”

Carol picked up a white towel laying on the island. "You're welcome to go if you want to. I don't mind,” Carol said calmly, but Carol wouldn't make eye contact with her as she folded and hung the towel over the oven door’s handle.

"I'd rather be here.” _With you,_ Therese thought. _Only with you._ Therese kept her eyes trained on Carol’s face. Carol finally looked at her. Carol's gray eyes seemed to penetrate her thoughts. Therese felt the desperate need to break the gaze, if nothing more than to hide her soul. She was certain that every want, desire, longing, yearning and hope in her heart could be read by Carol in its entirety. But yet she steadfastly held it.

Carol's posture softened, relaxing at the news that Therese was staying. Turning off the kitchen lights, she picked up her glass of wine in one hand and extended her other hand to Therese. Therese took her hand. “Come with me,” Carol said softly, pulling her up as she walked toward the deck. Therese reached back for the second wine glass and quickly took a drink.

The warmth of the day’s sun could still be felt in the evening air as they stepped outside. Instead of sitting in the deck chairs as she often liked to do, Carol led Therese by the hand towards the stairs at the end of the deck. Holding hands, they descended the stairs to the yard below, step by step. A hammock stood on the lawn in the middle of the green expanse.

When they reached the grass, Carol let go of Therese's hand and Therese simply didn't know what to do with it. What had she done with her hand before Carol? The idea seemed preposterous, but her fingers needed Carol's fingers, Carol's softness and warmth. Therese stared at her open palm for a brief moment before letting it fall to her side.

Carol walked under the deck where a large wooden porch swing hung. She reached up and behind one of the wooden beams holding up the deck and flicked a switch. It extinguished the yard lights, plunging the backyard into darkness. The far-off sun reflected gently off the crescent moon's surface. Carol walked toward her. She kicked off her shoes, leaving them in the grass. She stopped in front of the hammock and set her glass down on the small table beside it.

"You first,” she said. Carol steadied the hammock with one hand near the wooden slat above the pillows and her other hand in the middle of the hammock. Therese slipped her feet out of her shoes and felt the cool grass between her toes. She, too, set her wine down before gently sitting on the edge of the hammock and swinging her legs up onto the thick canvas fabric.

"Now, the hard part,” Carol said, laughing. "Don't let me fall.”

"I got you.” Therese reached down to the grass and spread her hand out on the ground to steady her side. Carol turned around and backed into the hammock, causing it to shift and wobble, but together they somehow managed to avoid ending up on the ground. Carol wiggled in next to her, hip touching hip, shoulder touching shoulder. Her blonde hair cascaded across the pillow they shared, mingling with Therese’s long, dark strands. The weight of each of them gravitated toward the other, pulled together by an invisible force.

Therese looked up, taking the time to absorb the universe laid out above her. The moon was low in the sky, guaranteed to be gone from view before the night was over. Above, she could see the Milky Way cutting a swath across the night sky, a motionless river of stars. They rocked like a boat on a gentle sea, just the two of them swimming in constellations. She turned her head and looked at Carol. Carol was looking at her.

"It's beautiful.” Carol’s hand slowly found Therese's hand again in agreement, warm skin sliding over hers, asking permission. Their fingers intertwined.

They held hands in the hammock for hours, sometimes silent, sometimes talking.

Therese told Carol all about Richard, how he was a friend of Dannie's and how they had dated, but how she hadn't really felt anything. Carol asked her if that was why they broke up. Therese chuckled. "That's the second time today someone has asked me that question.”

"And what was the answer?” asked Carol, her thumb running along Therese's thumb, causing her brain to overload, neurons to misfire.

"Well, Dannie asked me today if I was ever going to get back together with Richard and I told him no because Richard and I were at different places in our lives. He wanted to be serious, to marry me, and I ... I didn't know what I wanted. And as much as I tried to make myself feel something, to want the same things, I just couldn't.”

Carol stayed silent, allowing her to continue.

"So then Dannie asked me if I have a better idea what I want now that Richard and I weren't dating anymore.”

"What did you tell him?” Carol's voice was so quiet that had there been a slight breeze, Therese might have missed it.

"I told him yes. Yes, I did,” and she gently squeezed Carol's hand and turned her head to look at Carol. Carol met her gaze and squeezed her hand back. In the starlight, they read all they needed to know in the other’s eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" Therese whispered. Carol didn't reply, but then leaned her head so close to Therese that Therese could feel warmth radiating off of her face. Their heads continued to slowly close the gap between them until their foreheads touched. Both women closed their eyes, brow resting on brow. Noses met side by side as warm breaths mingled. Each woman instinctively tilted her head and lips brushed against each other. Carol’s hand tenderly caressed the side of Therese's neck as Therese’s free hand wrapped around their fingers laced together.

"Are you sure?" It was whispered, lips never leaving lips.

"Yes." Without hesitation.

And so it began. Therese drew in a sharp intake of air and the hammock swayed as her body tensed, but after a moment of Carol's lips, and then Carol's tongue on her lips and in her mouth, her body melted into the hammock. Behind closed eyes she saw stars. A kaleidoscopic symphony twisted and pulsated. The stars glowed and burned and shot through her. They leapt from axon to dendrite, traversing synaptic gaps seemingly at the speed of light.

Therese felt a molten heat forming deep within her just as Carol gently pulled away, both of them breathless. Carol laid her head back down on the pillow next to Therese.

Though her glass of wine was still mainly untouched, Therese gathered all the confidence she could muster and asked Carol, "Can I sleep in your bed with you tonight?”

Carol smiled. "Why would tonight be any different?” she asked softly.

Therese beamed and returned her eyes to the sky, more content than she could ever recall. As she studied the heavens above her, she noticed the lights of a plane high above the earth. She was filled with wonder at the thought of all those people so similar and yet so different than herself, hurling through space at monstrous speeds, probably never thinking that someone was watching them. Hundreds of disparate lives crushed together in that small interior, rocketing through time, no two lives the same except for the curved walls that surrounded them at that moment. Loved ones moving closer together; loved ones moving apart. Had it occurred to anyone up there that two people below them were falling in love at that very moment? Carol remained silent beside her, both of their breathing calmer now.

"Carol?” She spoke hesitantly, not sure how to proceed. She gulped and began, "I wanna ask you things, but I'm … I'm not sure that you want that.”

Carol didn't move or even make a sound for so long that Therese wondered if she had fallen asleep. Then her voice broke as she choked out, "Ask me, things ... please.”

Upon hearing her plea, Therese shifted to look at her and with much surprise saw Carol's eyes brimming with tears. The hammock swung side to side. Unable to continue while Carol was in this state, she simply laid her hand on Carol's cheek and Carol closed her eyes.

"Carol,” she breathed. “You’re not alone. You can talk to me.”

Carol opened her eyes, silvery pools reflecting the moonlight. "My angel, flung out of space."

They looked into each other's eyes and studied each other's faces as Carol regained her composure.

Carol opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She swallowed and tried again. "Do you know why I'm able to sleep when I'm with you?”

Therese waited, her hand gently caressing Carol's face.

"I trust you. You make me feel safe. When I'm with you I can relax. When I sleep next to you, I don't have to sleep with one eye open. I don’t know why you make me feel this way, but I don't feel so alone. I know I have Rindy, but this is different. And there are times that I worry if I'm enough for her. What if I made a mistake? What if I bit off more than I can chew? Perhaps she would have been better off with a family.”

Therese couldn't believe how vulnerable Carol was, how exposed. "You are her family. Carol, you're an amazing mother. You adore your daughter. It shows. She's healthy and happy.” Therese paused. "I think the problem is that you aren't used to having someone care for you. You aren't going to be the best mother you can be if you're not happy ... if you're not taking care of yourself, too.”

Therese brushed a strand of hair behind Carol's ear and then withdrew her hand.

"You're very wise for being so young,” Carol said quietly, the tears gone now, but her seriousness remaining.

"Does it bother you that I'm younger than you?”

"Yes and no.” She paused. “It doesn't bother me that you're younger per se, it's just that I don't want you to miss out on any of life’s experiences.”

"Like drinking with guys at the bar?” Therese joked.

"Yes, even that,” Carol conceded, but she was smiling, too.

"Carol, why did you get divorced?”

Surprised by the question, Carol turned and reached for her wine glass. She took a long drink. She avoided Therese's eyes. She set the glass back down on the table and settled in against Therese. "I didn't love him anymore. I'm not sure I even really knew what love was. And I wanted a baby and I knew I didn't want to raise a child with him. And ...” she drew in a deep breath. "You'll probably think badly of me, but I had an affair.”

Therese felt a sharp jolt as her stomach flipped, but she said nothing.

Carol finally looked at Therese. "Surely, you must have more questions.”

Therese swallowed. She only had one. "Was the affair with Abby?”

Carol stared unblinking into her eyes. "Yes.” Her hand squeezed Therese's, pleading. "Please understand that it only lasted a short time. She would have liked for it to have lasted longer, but I wasn't in love with her like she was with me. We've been friends since we were kids and I suppose I always knew she harbored those feelings, and one night it just happened. I suppose I wanted it to happen, too, but it wasn't meant to be with Abby. I ended it and didn't see her for some time. I thought I'd lost my best friend, but after awhile we realized we loved each other too much not to be in each other’s lives.”

Carol continued softly, explaining, "Without Abby, I'm not sure where I would be. She helped me learn to be me. We have a good business together and she wholeheartedly supported me when I wanted to adopt. I'm proud to call her Rindy's godmother," she said quietly.

Silence ensued while Therese digested all the information.

"I hope you won't think too horribly of me,” Carol said dejectedly.

"No, how could I?” Therese moved even closer to her, their bodies pressed side to side, hands tangled, eyes to the heavens. She felt Carol inhale and exhale, her relief palpable. Carol let herself relax even more into Therese, their bodies conforming to each other.

Up above them, their eyes caught the flash of a shooting star, a bright neon-purple trail stretched out against the black sky as if drawn by a crayon with a swoop of an arm. The meteoric body had fought the effects of atmospheric friction until it succumbed, dying in a pivotal flash of heat and light. Both audibly gasped, then froze as if waiting for something more, but when nothing more followed, Carol whispered, "Make a wish.”

They reclined in comfortable silence, reveling in the exhilaration that they had experienced the spectacular sight with each other. After some time, Therese asked quietly, "Carol?”

"Hmmm?” came the reply.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now.”


	12. The Word

_She has found me. I am struck on the nape of the neck. She has kissed me. All is shattered. - Virginia Woolf_

Only the lamp next to the bed remained on. They had talked in the hammock until the subtle evidence of a slightly lighter sky at the horizon suggested the earth was completing its quotidian rotation. But the witching hour cries of a hungry baby finally brought both women inside.

Carol sat on the edge of the bed in silk pajamas, looking at her phone. Therese exited the bathroom in a t-shirt and shorts and laid her folded clothes next to her bag. She crawled into the opposite side of the bed. Carol was more beautiful than she had ever seen. Her golden hair gleamed in the light of the lamp and the pajamas clung to her, showing her trim body and slight curves.

Therese was nervous and didn't know what to expect. They had slept in the same bed before, but they had never come to bed at the same time. Carol finished what she was doing on her phone and plugged it into the charger on her nightstand. She switched off the lamp and slid between the sheets.

Quiet filled the room, deafening and imposing. Afraid to take a breath and shatter the silence, Therese remained motionless, her brain deprived of oxygen. Then Carol slipped her hand and then her arm under Therese's neck, pulling her close and whispering, "Come here, darling.” Therese's heart skipped a beat and she took a breath. Rolling on her side, she nestled into the crook of Carol's arm and rested her cheek on Carol's shoulder. Her breath escaped as a sigh on her lips. Carol's silk pajamas felt smooth and cool against her cheek, but she was acutely aware of the warmth radiating from beneath them. Carol's hand rubbed softly up and down her arm. Therese's arm had fallen across Carol. She pulled her hand inward, settling on Carol's waist. Carol leaned in and kissed her forehead, whispering, "It's late. Go to sleep.”

* * *

_There I go to replenish my emptiness, to stretch the nights and fill them fuller and fuller with dreams. -Virginia Woolf_

It wasn't light or noise that finally woke Carol. It was just the time her body decided that it was rested. She was surprised at how good she felt. Most days, she would have been content to lie in bed, milking the quiet and lazy morning, especially after such a late night. But today was different. Today she was awake and eager to start her day. She turned and checked the bed beside her. It was empty, the sheets rumpled. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She picked up her red plaid robe from the chair and tied it around her waist. Barefoot, she walked down the hallway. Peering in the nursery, she saw Rindy still sleeping, snuggled in her train pajamas. Blonde curls were in disarray, but the cherubic look on the baby's face made her heart swell. She pulled the door closed, but a crack.

Hearing small noises, she proceeded to the kitchen. The rich smell of coffee hit her. She wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted her eyes. Therese wore Carol’s apron over her t-shirt and shorts, her bare legs catching Carol's attention. Therese was standing at the open refrigerator. A conglomeration of milk, eggs, flour, measuring cups, and bowls littered the counter. The pantry hung open beside her.

"Good morning,” Carol quietly interrupted, pulling out and sitting down on a stool.

Therese spun around, unaware that Carol risen. "Hi. Did I wake you?” she asked worriedly.

"No. I woke up on my own." She smiled, slightly turning her head. "I sleep so peacefully when you're with me.”

Therese smiled back. "I'm glad.” Motioning toward the items on the counter, she explained, "I thought I'd make you breakfast. I've never cooked for you.”

Carol coyly turned her head and smiled. "You'll spoil me.”

Therese reacted proudly, standing slightly taller despite her bare feet and said, "I'm making pancakes. Is that ok?”

"It's wonderful,” Carol replied as she stood and made her way around the counter to pick up a coffee mug and pour herself a cup. Therese froze as if she was unsure if she should move when she was this close in proximity to Carol in her kitchen. Carol ran her hand along the small of Therese's back as she brushed past her. Startled, Therese flinched, but when Carol returned to her stool and looked back across at her she was smiling.

Therese suddenly remembered what she was supposed to be doing and opened the container of eggs. "Pancakes,” she said, grinning. 

Carol adored that she affected Therese. And she loved watching her. Therese obviously wasn't experienced in the kitchen like Carol was, but Carol didn't care. She wasn't paying attention to Therese's technique. She liked the way her wrist moved as she whisked the eggs, how her eyebrows bent as she concentrated on measuring the flour so carefully, how her tongue stuck out slightly as she tried to pour perfect circles of batter in the pan. Carol wanted to walk around the counter and thread her hands between the apron and Therese's t-shirt as she stood at the stove, but she stayed where she was.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud wail. "And, everyone's up.” Carol winked as she took one last sip of coffee and stood up to get Rindy. She tore her eyes from Therese and walked down the hallway.

* * *

As they cleaned up the kitchen after breakfast, they debated how to spend the day. The weather was beautiful; not a cloud in the sky.

"Let's do something outdoors. It's so nice out. We could have a picnic!” Therese said excitedly.

"I know just the place,” Carol said, and told her about her favorite park. It had a lovely lake and plenty of greenery. It was peaceful and had well-maintained, paved trails.

"Do you mind if I bring Rindy?” Carol asked, concentrating on drying the last plate.

"Carol!” The indignity was blatantly evident in Therese’s tone. Carol turned. "What makes you think I would want it any other way?” Therese asked honestly.

Carol responded thoughtfully, "Well, normally I could ask Abby to babysit, but she's just getting back into town and she's probably exhausted. It would be nice to do something just the two of us sometime.”

Therese spoke slowly, "Carol, I like spending time with her. She'll only be this young once. You don't have to ask me if you can bring your daughter along. It's important for you two to spend time together.”

Carol sighed, slid the dried plate on top of the others and shut the cupboard. She put her hands on Therese's waist. "It's important to me to spend time with you, too.” Therese's eyes grew wide and Carol saw her swallow. Carol stepped back, smiling to lighten the mood. "Now, go get ready to go.”

Therese took a few hesitant steps backward before stopping. “Can we pick up some magazines?”

“Of course.”

* * *

_I woke in a garden, with a blow on the nape of my neck, a hot kiss. - Virginia Woolf_

After both women had showered, they packed the stroller, a blanket, and some books in the car. Carol buckled Rindy into her car seat and they headed out. They stopped a few miles before they reached the park and bought some magazines, a baguette, some cheese, slices of salami, grapes, and a bottle of wine at a small deli and neighboring store.

When they reached the park, Therese unbuckled Rindy from her car seat while Carol unfolded the stroller and loaded their picnic supplies in the stroller's storage sling. 

"Hey, baby!" Therese said to Rindy, swinging her high before settling on her hip. Carol watched, amused, out of the corner of her eye. 

"Would you mind buckling her in?" asked Carol, as she put on a straw hat and sunglasses. When Therese had secured Rindy, Carol leaned down to place a wide-brimmed cotton hat on the baby's head and pulled the sunshade on the stroller down. "I should have brought a hat for you, too," said Carol, scowling at Therese. "Your skin is so fair."

"I'll be ok," replied Therese. "I have sunscreen in my bag and I usually try to stay in the shade anyway." She suppressed a smile, but she was internally pleased that Carol cared about whether she might get a sunburn. Therese reached into the car and slung her camera over her shoulder before shutting the car door.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

They started down the path, Carol pushing the stroller and Therese either walking alongside or stopping to take a photograph. Rindy was in her element, kicking her bare feet, making happy noises, pointing to birds and squirrels, or talking to passing dogs in a language all her own. 

Therese took each opportunity when she fell behind snapping pictures to enjoy the sight of Carol as she caught back up with her. Carol's blonde hair blew in the breeze, and she appeared lit from within rather from the light of the sun in her simple sundress and sandals. Every so often, Carol would turn and check on her and Therese could feel her heart swell slightly bigger within her chest each time Carol smiled. 

"C'mon, slowpoke," Carol teased her. "Let's stop for lunch."

Therese jogged to catch up. As she came up beside Carol, she gently pulled a lock of Carol’s hair between her thumb and forefinger. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, just a small tug at the nape of her neck. Carol turned her head in surprise, but once she saw Therese’s playful dimples, she returned the smile twofold.

They spread the blanket out on the soft grass in the shade beneath a large oak tree. Carol set Rindy in the center of the blanket, took off her hat, and gave her a few toys to play with. "So hopefully she doesn't eat the grass," Carol explained. 

The full sun felt like being in a microwave, but the shade combined with the smallest of breezes created the perfect atmosphere. They both settled down on the blanket. Therese lied back, her forearm supporting her head. She watched Rindy pick up and shake each toy, most of them also going her mouth at some point. Carol sat, her legs stretched out before her, her back straight. 

Joggers and walkers streamed by on the nearby path, within sight, but far enough away to pay no attention to the trio. 

Therese turned her head and looked up at Carol. 

"Do you want something to eat?" Carol asked her. 

"Sure," Therese replied, admiring the dappled sunlight on Carol’s hair, making it appear even more golden.

Carol leaned over and pulled the food from the stroller. They broke off pieces of bread and used a plastic knife to slice into the gooey Brie. They drank cool wine from plastic cups. Therese thought it was the perfect meal for this perfect day. 

Between bites, Carol fed Rindy some applesauce she had packed. "Here," said Therese, trying to be helpful and offered Carol a grape. Carol leaned toward her, her hair falling forward, and took it from Therese's fingers with her lips. Therese thought she saw Carol start to smile. Images of those lips on hers, the softness they held, flashed through her brain. She looked down, trying to calm her racing thoughts. She wondered if Carol noticed her reaction. Too afraid to meet her eyes, Therese plucked a cluster of grapes from the stem and set them on Carol's napkin. _I'm not going to survive this picnic if I'm feeding grapes to her._

When they finished, Carol laid Rindy down for a nap and they casually read magazines and chatted. Therese stretched out on her back. After a while, Therese saw Carol set her open magazine on her lap and lean back on her arms. Carol looked at her. Raising one hand, she caressed the area just above the apple of Therese's cheek with one finger. "You got some sun," she said softly, her fingertip following Therese's cheekbone. 

"I forgot to put on the sunscreen," Therese admitted, secretly happy her sun-kissed cheeks might mask the flush she felt when Carol touched her. She let her magazine fall open on her chest. 

Tossing her own magazine aside, Carol put her head down on the blanket facing Therese. The only thing that separated them was the sprawled out body of the sleeping child. Carol lightly placed her hand on Rindy's chest, but her eyes were on Therese. Therese felt her own hands press the magazine to her chest, trying to hold her heart down so it didn't fly away. Carol's lips twitched slightly and she closed her eyes. "I feel so safe when you're around," she murmured. 

Despite her own tired eyes, Therese knew she wouldn't let herself succumb to sleep. She felt a certain loyalty to Carol. Knowing Carol was able to sleep when she was around made her chest ache, like her lungs had forgotten how to expand and contract. She looked at the blonde woman lying on her side, long legs stretched out, barefoot, her sandals forgotten in the grass. If she watched carefully, she could see the rhythmic rising and falling of Carol's chest as she breathed. She would stay awake for Carol.

Therese finished reading her magazine. Silently she sat up and reached for her bag. She pulled out her camera and adjusted the focus. She snapped a photo of Carol. Carol didn't move. She took another photo of Rindy, then one of the two of them together before returning her camera to her bag. Therese studied their lips. They had the same lips, despite their different genes. 

Rindy stirred, flailing her arms, and the sudden jerky movement woke her fully. She looked up at Therese. Therese picked her up, setting the baby on her lap. Rindy's thumb went to her mouth, the curls on the back of her head warm and compressed with sweat. She leaned into Therese. Therese talked quietly to her, whispering in her ear. She pointed out geese who walked on the bank of the small lake, their heads down, beaks active, searching for their lunch. She showed her the bluebird in the tree above them, darting from branch to branch. She pointed out how Mama was taking a nap, too. Rindy leaned, reaching for Carol. Pulling her thumb from her mouth, she repeated, "Mama.”

Carol's eyes flew open. "What did she just say?” She put her arms out to allow Rindy to come to her.

"She said 'mama'.” Therese grinned. “I told her mama was taking a nap, too, and she reached for you and just said it.” The smile on Carol's face was everything. Therese knew if she could reproduce that smile on Carol's face by one simple act, she would happily do it every day. She wished her camera hadn't been put away.

"She's never said it before,” Carol said softly, still beaming. Therese heart swelled when she realized how lucky she was to have witnessed this moment. There was no one here but the three of them, and it felt special in a way she hadn't known before. She didn't really have many memories that felt like this. She had grown up in foster care. She hadn't seen her mother since was eight years old. She wondered how her mother felt the first time Therese said her name. She wondered if she even cared.

"Can you say mama?” Carol prodded Rindy, as if she needed to prove to herself that it happened. "Mama?”

Rindy smiled a wide smile, and pulled her thumb out of her mouth long enough to say the word. "Mama.” It wasn't muddled, it wasn't a maybe, but as clear as the blue sky above them.

Therese watched as Carol's eyes grew red around the rims, but the smile on her face held them back like a seawall. "My sweet pea,” she whimpered, hugging Rindy close to her. She raised her beautiful eyes to Therese. "I'm so glad you were here for this,” she said, reaching out and holding Therese's hand.

Therese gently turned Carol’s hand over, threading her fingers between Carol’s. "So am I,” she said, smiling.


	13. Abby Returns

_The beauty of the world which is soon to perish, has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf_

Therese offered to load the dinner dishes into the dishwasher while Carol changed Rindy and put her to bed. She joined Therese in the kitchen as the young woman was wiping down the countertop.

"Thank you,” said Carol, looking around. "It looks nice in here.”

Therese just folded the dish cloth over the sink and turned to her, the green eyes mesmerizing pools that she could lose herself in if she wasn't careful. Therese looked down at her hands. "Do you mind if I take a bath? It's just … I think the grass made me itchy.” She looked apologetic, and Carol found it amusing. Carol opened a cupboard and took out two glasses, setting them on the island counter.

"Of course,” she replied. "I think you know where everything is. Take your time and relax,” she urged as she started to pour herself a drink. "Would you like one?”

"Maybe when I'm finished,” Therese said. "Thanks.” 

She turned to go to the bedroom. She went to her bag to find clean pajamas and went into the bathroom. She plugged the tub and turned on the hot water tap. She sat on the edge of the bathtub, testing the water temperature until it became hot, and then she adjusted it to her liking. She looked around. Plenty of clean towels sat neatly folded, but she didn't see any washcloths. She opened the small door below the sink, but only found toilet paper and feminine products. Leaving the water running, she returned to the living area to ask Carol for a washcloth. She saw Carol standing on the deck, her back to Therese. She was talking on her cell phone, spitting words out in frustration. Therese stopped in her tracks as the words rang in her ears.

"It doesn't matter whose car it is, Abby.” A pause. "It's not your job to look out for me. I'm a big girl.” An exasperated sigh. "No, I'm not seeing anyone, not that it's any of your business. You know perfectly well that the last thing I want right now is a relationship. I just want to concentrate on me and Rindy.” She was getting angry, her voice rising. "It's nobody's, just a neighbor's. Can you just drop it? Maybe you should call next time before you stop by.”

Therese had heard enough. Her face was on fire and her stomach churned as she made her way back to the bathroom. She was no one to Carol. Carol wasn't even willing to tell her best friend about her. She angrily turned off the taps. Tears obscured her vision as she gathered what few things she had in the bedroom and threw them in her bag.

_She didn't want to be in a relationship? Then where the hell was this going?_ Her mind spun wildly. She felt gullible. The hurt made her insides ache as she threw the bag over her shoulder and made her way to the front door. She considered kissing Rindy good-bye, but the need to run was too powerful. The house was quiet now, Carol's voice no longer echoing in the stillness. Therese quietly opened the front door and silently closed it behind her. _Nobody’s leaving,_ she thought as the tears started to fall.

* * *

_I am drowning, my dear, in seas of fire. -Virginia Woolf_

Out on the deck, Carol finished her drink, the clink of ice cubes against glass confirming it for her. Her heartbeat had returned to normal, or something close to it. The alcohol was relatively soothing, but she was still irritated by Abby's incessant questions. She hadn't expected Abby to stop by today. Truth be told, she really hadn't considered the possibility. Her mind had been elsewhere, and she knew the reason.

 _I should have asked Therese to park in the garage,_ she thought. But why? She didn't know exactly why she hadn't told Abby about Therese. Perhaps it was to protect Abby, who still had feelings for her. Perhaps it was to protect herself. Maybe she was just reveling in what she and Therese had together. Right now it was simple and unspoiled, just the two of them enjoying each other’s company. There was more on the horizon, she knew, but she didn't want to rush forward. This was special, something to spend time on, something to be savored. She guiltily felt greedy, her want to keep it to herself. It was hers. Hers and Therese’s. Was that so bad?

She carried her glass inside, depositing it on the counter as she walked to the bedroom. She noticed the bathroom door open. Surprised, she stopped, her feet rooted to the floor. The tub was filled with water, but Therese was not in it.

_The phone call._

The house seemed eerily quiet. Carol desperately wanted something to break the stagnant silence, to fill the void. She finally regained possession of her feet and walked to the tub. Dipping her hand in, she felt the water. It was lukewarm, crystal clear, untouched. She reached to the bottom and twisted the plug, releasing the water and allowing it to escape down the drain. It wasn't a gratifying sound.

With leaden feet and a heavier heart she walked to the front door, water dripping off her arm onto the floor all the way down the hall. She didn't care. She opened the door and saw that Therese's car was gone from her driveway. 

She wasn't surprised, just saddened. Saddened and angry. Angry at Abby for coming by unannounced and ruining the weekend. No, angry at herself. _I caused this._ She couldn’t fault Abby. She probably would have reacted the same way. No, this was entirely her doing. Carol knew she could go and see if Therese's bag was still in the bedroom, but she didn't. She knew it was gone. Therese was gone. She pressed her hands to her face, one hand wet and one hand dry.


	14. Reconciliation

 

_What does the brain matter compared with the heart? -Virginia Woolf_

 

Carol took a deep breath, knowing she needed to do this.

"Abby, I'm so sorry about earlier. You're my best friend and I need a huge favor, no questions asked,” began Carol, speaking as soon as Abby answered her call. "I need you to spend the night with Rindy, either here or I can bring her to your place. I don't care.”

"What's going on, Carol? Are you all right?” The questions started anyway.

Carol cut her off. "Abby. Please stop. There's just something I need to do, something I need to fix. Can you do it?” Carol pleaded. "I'll explain everything tomorrow. Please. No more questions.”

Silence.

"Fine,” Abby finally answered. "I assume Rindy’s sleeping.”

"Yes, but I can bring her over,” answered Carol.

"Nonsense. Let her sleep,” Abby ordered. "Let me grab some clothes and I'll be right over. You owe me, Carol.”

"I know,” Carol said, resigned. "Thank you, Abby.”

 

* * *

 

_But for pain words are lacking. -Virginia Woolf_

 

Abby knocked and Carol immediately opened the door. "I don't know what's going on, but it better be good. And I better get details later,” Abby stated as she quickly walked in the house past Carol, barely making eye contact.

"Abby, you're a star. Thank you.” Carol came to her and quickly kissed her on the cheek. "Of course you will. I'm sorry.”

"You're just lucky I'm exhausted and don't have a date tonight,” Abby told her, as she flopped into a chair.

Carol dashed around frantic, her jacket over her arm. "Where are my fucking keys?" Carol grumbled to herself, digging in her purse.

"They're in your other hand, you nitwit."

Staring at them a second, Carol threw her purse over her arm. Abby just watched. Carol had her hand on the door to the garage when Abby called out to her.

"Carol.” Abby let the word just hang in the air.

Carol turned, impatient to go. Abby was grinning.

"What's her name?"

Carol paused, the surprise flashing briefly in her eyes before the smile overtook her face.

"Therese."

 

* * *

 

_Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. I sob, I sob. –Virginia Woolf_

 

Therese had allowed her tears to fall as she pushed her car ruthlessly toward home and for some time after that, but now there was nothing left. She was just a hollow expanse full of questions and anger. There were no tears left to cry.

She started a load of laundry, pulling the dirty clothes from the bag she had packed for the weekend and throwing them into the washer with her pent up frustration. Slamming the lid on the washing machine, she pushed the doors to her small laundry room closed and went to the living room. She wasn't in the mood for TV, so she put on some music from her iPod. The Bluetooth speakers kicked in and the familiar sounds filled the room.

A knock sounded on the door. Her head jerked around, unaccustomed to having unannounced visitors. She knew Dannie was at the bar. He had texted her earlier with his incessant insistence to come drinking with him. She looked through the peephole.

Blonde hair, gray eyes.

Certainly her heart wasn't strong enough for this. She knew she looked like hell with her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She rested her forehead against the cool door.

Another knock reverberated, the sound waves traveling through the wooden door and straight into her frontal lobe. She remained motionless, inches away from everything she wanted, separated only by thick layers of cellulose and her own vulnerability.

“Therese.” Hearing Carol say her name made the world change directions on its tilted axis. “I know you're there. Open the door and let me in,” she softly pleaded.

Therese thought about what it would take to open it. A scalpel drawing a long incision, slicing through her chest, bones cut and tissue torn apart, exposing that precious organ. She was only given one, muscular yet deceptively fragile. Did she trust another to handle it?

She stood up straight, stepped back, and opened the door.

Carol just stood there, her arms hanging at her sides. She looked exactly like she did when Therese saw her last, but she was different. Therese was different, too. Carol's face looked tired and grim. It hurt Therese to see her this way. But she had hurt Therese, whether Therese was supposed to overhear the phone conversation with Abby or not, so Therese held her ground.

"I was horrible, earlier,” Carol breathed out, each word spoken with effort. Her eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill. "Can you forgive me?”

Therese just closed her eyes and exhaled completely. Nothing mattered now. It should, but the fact that Carol came to her meant something. Opening her eyes, she slowly stepped back, allowing Carol to enter.

“Come here,” Therese whispered. As Carol stepped over the threshold toward her, she didn't come in so much as come home. Carol wrapped her arms around Therese's shoulders, one hand on the back of her head. The anger and hurt Therese had been harboring dissipated with Carol’s tender touch. Therese buried her face into Carol's hair, inhaling her scent, her arms circling Carol’s waist.

“Dearest,” Carol whispered.

Therese could feel wetness on her cheek. She pulled back, gazing into Carol's eyes. She brought her fingertips up to brush away Carol's tears, relishing the smooth skin beneath her fingers. Carol swallowed and started to say something, but before she could begin, Therese pressed her lips against Carol's. Lips parted and tongues found each other. The kiss wasn't languid and gentle like their first kiss, but laced with need and silent apologies.

Carol's hand on the back of Therese's head held her close, the fingers winding in her hair. Therese's hand rested on Carol's cheek before sliding down to her neck. Therese could feel Carol's pulse beneath her hot skin. Carol's other arm urged her closer until there was no space left between them. They pressed against each other, mouths melting, hands exploring and touching, until Carol pulled away with a gasp.

"No, I need to stop now, or I won't be able…” She backed away from Therese, her hand to her mouth.

"Why?” Therese asked, confused. She tried to breathe evenly, like a normal person. She failed.

"This isn't why I came here,” Carol said, shaking her head. She looked at Therese. "I came here to apologize.” She walked to the window before turning around. “I think I can safely assume you heard me on the phone with Abby. I don't know what I was thinking ...” Carol walked over and sank into the sofa. "I don't know why I lied to her. I didn't mean what I said. Yes, I did intend to just take time and focus on Rindy, but then you … you just …” She shook her head slowly. Not finding the words she needed, she changed course. "It was wrong for me not tell her about you. I guess I just wanted there to be a right time.”

"I haven't told anyone about you either,” Therese reluctantly admitted. "I've been making excuses. I think part of it is I'm scared because this is all so new to me, but I also liked having something that was only between the two of us – something just the you and I shared.” Therese joined her on the sofa, knees almost touching. “But then I heard what you said on the phone,” her eyes clouded with the memory, “and I doubted all of it.”

“It was wrong of me and unfair to both you and Abby. I'm so sorry.” Carol took her hand and wryly laughed. "I guess we both have some explaining to do.” She covered Therese's hand with her other hand and moved closer. "But even when we do tell people about us, we will still have something between just the two of us. Don't you know that?”

"Yes,” answered Therese thoughtfully, her face breaking into a smile of relief. She didn't know how each moment with Carol could continue to be more special than the last, but it just kept happening. She looked in the gray eyes that meant so much to her and wondered how she could possibly love another human being this much.

"Where's Rindy?!” she suddenly exclaimed, jumping up.

"Relax,” Carol said as she laughed, taking her hand again. "She's with Abby.”

"Oh, I thought maybe you left her in the car,” said Therese, her posture softening.

"What kind of mother do you think I am?” asked Carol, feigning to be offended despite her smile.

"You're a wonderful mother,” Therese admitted. "It was just a reaction, I guess. Abby? You left her with Abby? So, you told Abby about us?”

"No, not really,” Carol sighed. "That's for tomorrow. But that does mean that I'm free until then.” And she pulled Therese down again so she was sitting across Carol's lap this time. Carol's hand wandered to her waist and slid under her shirt, coming to rest on her lower back. Their lips found each other again, and this time it was sweeter, gentler.

 

* * *

 

_She had known happiness, exquisite happiness, intense happiness, and it silvered the rough waves a little more brightly, as daylight faded, and the blue went out of the sea and it rolled in waves of pure lemon which curved and swelled and broke upon the beach and the ecstasy burst in her eyes and waves of pure delight raced over the floor of her mind and she felt, It is enough! It is enough! - Virginia Woolf_

 

"Therese,” Carol said, finally breaking the kiss and letting her head come to rest against Therese's forehead. "I want to make love to you, more than I'd like to admit,” she added, shaking her head, "but I don't want our first time to be make-up sex. You deserve more than that. _WE_ deserve more than that.” She corrected herself.

Therese was inclined to argue, but she bit her tongue. _In some ways,_ she thought, _this is enough._ To have Carol here, to be this close to her, to know that Carol had feelings for her was all she wanted. But another part of her wanted more, craved more, but that part wasn't going to be satisfied tonight. But deep down she realized she could be content. _For tonight, at least,_ she thought.

"You're right,” agreed Therese. "Plus, you haven't even taken me out on a proper date yet, baby.”

Carol's mouth opened, incredulous. "You are something.” Therese raised her head and grinned.

Carol straightened her back and raised her chin, and in her lovely, sultry voice asked, "Therese Belivet, would you like to go on a date with me on Friday?”

Therese never had to consider her answer. "Yes. Yes, I would.”

 

* * *

 

> NOTE TO READERS: Because I love you, this is not the end of the chapter. Scroll down! :)
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_For now had come that moment, that hesitation when dawn trembles and night pauses, when if a feather alight in the scale it will be weighed down. - Virginia Woolf_

 

Carol woke to small movements in the darkness. Soft and hesitant, they started near her collarbone and fluttered slowly towards her neck. Hair brushed across her exposed skin, causing her to stiffen as chills ran down that side of her body. A low voice breathed out a question, a hope, a prayer. “Have we made up yet?”

The warm lips continued their moist journey along her neck, not waiting for an answer. Carol tried to formulate a thought through the haze of desire that swept over her. Therese was half on top of her at this point, lips and tongue traversing one side of her neck while a cool hand claimed the other.

Carol reclaimed her faculties and provided her answer. Flipping Therese on her back, she raised herself on her elbows and focused on the eyes in front of her in the dimness of Therese’s bedroom. Surprised by the sudden change in position, Therese ceased her explorations and held the hair back from Carol's face with one hand. Her breaths came in short puffs, chest pushing against chest, fast and needy. Carol lowered her head to capture Therese's mouth in a tender kiss. She started out taking her time, but Therese’s need quickly resurfaced and she found Carol's lower lip with her teeth. She grazed it before finding it again with her lips as her hands found Carol’s breasts.

Carol dragged open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and along her collarbone. She pushed Therese’s t-shirt up and Therese arched her back, pulling it over her head. Carol’s fingers ran back and forth over Therese's breast, the nipple now standing erect while her mouth found the other. Therese gasped and the muscles of her stomach convulsed involuntarily. Carol kissed lower, across her taut stomach, her hand still on Therese's breast, her fingers gently teasing the nipple. Therese's hips lifted up, desperate to find contact with Carol. Carol tugged shorts and panties down and Therese helped by kicking them off. Sitting up, Carol peeled her own t-shirt off, discarding it with the rest of the debris on the side of the bed. Her remaining clothing followed. The lovers reunited in a kiss that witnessed the lengths of their bodies snapping together like two magnets aligning. Carol urged Therese's legs apart and she moved between them. Therese's hips began to thrust upwards in earnest.

"Carol ...” she pleaded, eyes closed, barely coherent.

Carol kissed her, their bodies pressed against each other, rocking gently, both breathing hard. She found Therese's eyes and brushed her hair back from her forehead.

“Touch me. Please,” Therese begged between gasps.

Carol caught her lips in a kiss, her tongue soft and probing and slid her fingers up along the inside of Therese's thigh. Therese inhaled deeply, winding her fingers in Carol's hair. She threw her head back, unable to keep contact with Carol's lips when Carol's fingers found her wetness.

"You're so ready,” Carol groaned.

Both women's agitated breathing blended together as Carol's fingers stroked up and down, routinely circling with such precision that they elicited unintelligible moans. Carol's mouth found her nipple once again and Therese arched up, the glorious sensation in both places causing too much pleasure to bear. But when Carol's kisses moved lower, sucking and moving down her stomach, Therese felt her legs shaking involuntarily, despite her attempts to stop them.

"You're trembling,” Carol said, hesitating.

But Therese's hands on her shoulders urged her lower and she suckled softly on the inside of Therese's thighs, her fingertips still exploring tenderly before she suddenly took them away. Wrapping her arms under Therese's hips, Carol lowered her mouth and Therese moaned at the glorious contact, her voice deeper now, her need obvious and powerful. Lips and tongue and warmth and wetness combined to make all meaningful thoughts flit and float like feathers to the ground.

And then a knot began to form. It was just behind her pelvic bone, so very close to where Carol's head nestled, and Carol was tying the knot tighter and tighter. And as Carol pulled, and the stress became so great that Therese thought she would break in two, the knot slipped and she came undone, a giant wave of chemical release rippling through her. It shot outward from her core to the tips of her fingers. She rose and gasped with every swipe of Carol's tongue. Sounds came from her throat she didn't recognize until Carol brought her down gently.

Carol spread out over her, caressing her face, her lips lightly pressing against Therese's lips until Therese opened to Carol's mouth and tasted her own flavor. Carol pulled back a few inches, just enough for her to focus on the green eyes she adored.

Therese's face broke out into a grin.

Carol threw her head back and laughed.


	15. The Storm

 

_When the storm crosses the marsh and sweeps over me where I lie in the ditch unregarded I need no words. -Virginia Woolf_

Therese shifted, rolling Carol off her so that both women were on their sides facing each other. She traced her fingers down Carol's arm from shoulder to elbow and Carol shivered. Brushing back Carol's hair from her face, Therese’s hand came to rest where Carol’s neck met her shoulder.

Carol slid her arm under Therese, wrapping it around her waist and pulling her closer. Therese shifted her weight and slowly rolled on top of Carol as her hand traveled down to Carol's breast. She laid her fingertips on Carol's nipple and felt the soft skin harden under her touch. The act delighted her and she moved one of her legs in between Carol's. Carol felt Therese's wetness pressed against her own leg. Excitement flooded through her, knowing she had been the cause.

Carol's hands urged Therese closer, pressing into her back and hips, needing to feel the weight of her as if it would prove that she was real, made of matter and substance. Therese kissed Carol tenderly, lips lowering onto waiting lips. Taking her time, she built her confidence within the kiss before her mouth slid down to Carol's throat, kissing and suckling the tender skin there. Therese pushed her hips into Carol's unconsciously. She was desperate to touch Carol, to explore with the new found freedom that Carol's body offered. Carol needed relief just as desperately, but she knew that Therese wanted to set the pace, so she would try to relinquish control over her gratification for as long as she possibly could.

Therese's hair fell in curtains on either side of Carol's face as if to create a small, private world just for the two of them. Green irises locked on gray irises and spoke volumes in an instant. Therese’s hair trailed behind her, causing goosebumps to appear on Carol’s skin. She gathered Carol's breast in one hand and met it with her lips. Carol gasped when the warmth enveloped her nipple.

Therese’s hand slid lower, splaying out over Carol's stomach and her mouth followed. Carol moved uncontrollably now, not sure how much longer she could last. _It's been too long,_ Carol’s brain thought. _It's never been like this,_ Carol’s heart answered.

Therese placed a hand on Carol's waist and let the fingers of her other hand reach between Carol's legs. Carol’s hips moved upward at her touch. Therese muffled a low moan against Carol's breast when she discovered the sheer amount of wetness coating Carol's swollen lips. Carol writhed as Therese’s fingers found their way over hill to valley and back again.

"Therese,” Carol gasped. Therese looked up to meet her eyes, but Carol's head was thrown back, her face a combination of pleasure and need. "I need your fingers."

Knowing Carol was so aroused, Therese simply couldn’t make her wait any longer. She moved her fingers to Carol’s entrance and smoothly, albeit timidly, inserted two fingers. Carol arched under the intensely welcomed pleasure. Her hands grasped the sheets. She moved her hips to press down onto Therese's fingers, filling herself with all that she was willingly given. Therese withdrew her fingers slowly, watching Carol nearly come undone, and then pushed them back inside her.

Carol met her eyes this time, and Therese saw the storm on the horizon. She knew by the color of the clouds in the steel gray eyes that the storm was going to be brutal, destroying everything in its wake. Its unrelenting power would blow the last vestiges of debris away, clearing the landscape for what was to come.

Terrified and exhilarated, she lowered her mouth and tasted Carol for the first time. It occurred to her that it was the most amazing taste, so natural. She tasted lightning and ozone. It flooded her mouth and she swiped her tongue lower, eager to find more of Carol's liquid, but Carol whimpered, so Therese returned her tongue to where Carol wanted her. She thought she could feel it pulsing, as if their heartbeats had decided to match up right where her tongue touched Carol. Therese continued the silky strokes with her fingers and tongue, gently increasing her speed and pressure. Carol swore breathlessly and rocked her hips harder. Therese gasped, breaking her rhythm momentarily. She inhaled deeply and resumed, this time confident that even if she drowned in this glorious tempest, she didn't care because it would be with Carol.

And Carol must have known too, because her knuckles turned white where she clutched the sheets with her left hand. Her other hand went to Therese's hair, twisting it about her fingers and holding on as if Therese might blow away if she didn't. And so anchored, they clung to each other as the storm raged. Carol lifted, eager to meet it, and with a swift swipe upward of Therese's tongue and a thrusting of her fingers, Carol cried out, ripping the sheet off the corner of the bed. The sky broke open over her convulsing body, droplets falling on the pillowcase.

Therese felt the forces within Carol grasp her fingers again and again and she followed right behind like thunder follows lightning, a cry escaping her throat as she found Carol's fingers with her own as they rode out the storm.

* * *

 

_I dance. I ripple. I am thrown over you like a net of light. I lie quivering flung over you. - Virginia Woolf_

Therese tried to hide her exhilaration the next morning. All the memories of the night before swam through her head in an endless parade of happiness. She thought back to when she first stirred this morning and how she had felt Carol's chin resting against her forehead and Carol's hand on her waist, their legs intertwined in the twisted sheets. It dawned on her that she had been as happy then as she had ever been. She wondered if this was the pinnacle. Would anything ever reach this apex again or had she experienced as much bliss as there was possible? Perhaps everything else would always pale compared to this. She didn't care.

She had imagined how it would be making love with Carol - more than once, if she was honest with herself. How could she not? But it had defied her expectations. Carol had shattered them, picked up the shards, and built something infinitely more wondrous and beautiful. She marveled at how it was her that Carol desired, her that was in the grocery store that day, her that was with Carol now. Carol seemed to read her thoughts and she let Therese enjoy her mind’s journey. She just smiled at her every now and then, a knowing look in her eyes.

They had found a small cafe for breakfast. As their coffees arrived, Carol looked at her across the table thoughtfully. When Therese reached for the cream, Carol captured her hand and held it. With her other hand, Carol picked up the creamer. "Say when,” she ordered, beginning to pour the cream into Therese's coffee.

"When,” Therese said, squeezing Carol's fingers softly. Carol tipped the creamer back up. Therese stirred her coffee with her other hand before setting the spoon on a napkin and taking a sip. Carol had still not relinquished her hand. Carol's thumb gently rubbed over Therese's fingers as their eyes met again.

"I'm not ready to let you go,” Carol said quietly. "I have to get home so Abby can get on with her day, but I'd like to spend the day with you.” Carol's eyes twinkled. "And tonight, if you want,” she added mischievously.

Delight flashed upon Theresje’s face, although it was momentary. “I told Dannie yesterday that I would meet him for lunch and a drink,” she said, lowering her eyes, remembering the aftermath of yesterday's flee from Carol’s house. “He’s been bugging me forever.”

“That's fine. You can come over when you’re finished, if you like,” Carol said, sipping her coffee.

“I’d like that.” The emerald sparkle had returned to Therese’s eyes.

Carol's eyes shone brilliantly. She caressed Therese's hand tenderly before releasing it. The waitress arrived with Therese’s omelet and Carol’s bagel with lox and they tore in hungrily.

"Meanwhile, I'll go deal with Abby,” Carol whispered conspiratorially between bites. "I won't subject you to that just yet. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to spend with her in the future,” she said with a wink.

* * *

 

_They went in and out of each other's minds without any effort. -Virginia Woolf_

Carol walked through the door from the garage into the kitchen. "Hello?” she called before she noticed the French doors wide open. Walking out to the deck, she saw Abby with Rindy on a blanket on the grass below.

Abby looked at Carol, studying her. “Look, Rindy! Mama’s back.”

"Mama.” Rindy used her new word as she ecstatically reached for Carol who was coming down the last few steps.

"My girl,” Carol said happily, scooping her up and burying her head in Rindy’s neck.

"When did she learn to say that?” Abby asked, astonished. “You didn't tell me she can talk!”

"She just learned,” Carol explained. "Therese was talking to her and she just said it.” Carol kissed the little blonde's chubby cheek, and squeezed her before sitting them both down on the blanket.

"She called Therese mama?” Abby asked, her eyebrow askew.

"No, Therese referenced me, just like you just did," Carol said rolling her eyes, "and Rindy said mama and reached out for me.”

"She's growing up too fast,” Abby said, shaking her head. "Her legs are so strong and she's so active, she's going to be walking before you know it.”

Carol just smiled and smoothed the little girl's curls. "I missed you, sweat pea,” Carol said lovingly to her daughter.

"You look happy,” Abby stated. She leaned on her elbow and watched them.

"I am happy,” Carol said, looking at her.

"So, it went well?”

Carol blushed and averted her eyes. "Yes, Abby, it went very well. Thank you for being here. It really means a lot to me.”

"Well, I needed some goddaughter time, so it worked out well,” Abby said, tracing patterns on the blanket with her finger.

"Abby,” Carol said softly, reaching out and squeezing her hand. Abby lifted her eyes and met Carol's. "Thank you.”

Abby looked at her solemnly, then finally cracked a smile. "Had I known she was starting to talk, I would have spent even more time teaching her to say 'Aunt Abby'.”

"More?” Carol asked, furrowing her brows. She laughed.

Abby rolled on her back and sat up. She leaned in to kiss Rindy. "Well, I better get going. Bye, sweetheart.” She directed her attention back to Carol. “When are you going to see her next?” Abby inquired, referring to Therese.

Carol blushed again, hating herself for showing her emotions so openly. "Actually, she's headed here this afternoon.”

Abby shook her head as she stood up. She sighed, pretending to be exasperated, and muttered something under her breath about a U-haul. She playfully continued louder, "At least wait until my goddaughter is napping before you two start rolling around.” She climbed up the steps before stopping near the top and looking down at Carol.

"Carol," she continued after a brief hesitation. "I'm happy you're happy. I really am.”

"Abby …” Carol just shut her eyes for a moment, holding back tears that threatened to show. She knew it was not without a cost for Abby to be so generous. When she opened her eyes, Abby was gone.


	16. Welcome

_We melt into each other with phrases. We are edged with mist. We make an unsubstantial territory. -Virginia Woolf_

Therese obeyed as many traffic laws as she could on her way back to Carol's house, although she noticed how she had developed a lead foot in her attempt to get back to that woman. When she pulled into Carol's driveway and slammed the car into park with a jolt, it was already early afternoon. She reached over the seat and grabbed her bag from the back. As she took the front steps two-by-two, the door flew open and Carol met her in an embrace on the porch.

“I missed you,” Carol managed to get in before Therese's mouth met hers. Therese dropped her bag to free both her hands. She was glad she had gone to the extra effort to put her camera in its padded case before packing it inside with her clothing. Her hands found Carol's hair and Carol's hands were already under her shirt just above her waist. The exploring hands grew even bolder, inching higher. Therese broke their kiss and turned and grabbed her bag and threw it inside as Carol stepped over the threshold. Carol reached out, grabbed Therese by a single belt loop and pulled her inside, kicking the door shut.

“Where's Rindy?” Therese asked breathlessly.

“Napping,” Carol replied. She shoved her hands under Therese's bra in an effort to get to her breasts. “You have too many clothes on,” she stated, grasping and fumbling. Her lips greedily sucked Therese's lower lip before open-mouthed kisses traveled to her throat. Therese put her hands low on Carol's hips and pulled her closer. Carol's hands were pressed between them and Therese felt her nipples harden immediately under Carol's touch. Carol walked her backward until her back hit the wall and then applied pressure against her, so sweet and arousing.

“Bedroom,” Therese pleaded. But Carol didn't move. She only kept kissing her neck, moving lower into the open neck of Therese's shirt and threatening to meet her own fingertips which were still on Therese's breasts. Then Carol's leg pressed up and into the gap between Therese's legs and Therese groaned, the feeling immensely pleasurable, but not even near quite enough. 

Therese grasped Carol's face with both hands, pulling her back up and into a desperate, reckless kiss. “Take. Me. To. Bed.” It was more of an order this time. Carol pulled back, a shocked look on her face that quickly turned into amusement. 

“My, aren't you eager,” she said slowly. “That makes me want to wait a little while,” she said as she placed her lips on the side of Therese's neck and slowly suckled, pulling her mouth along Therese's skin. Therese closed her eyes, the torture almost too much.

“We better hurry. Rindy might wake up soon.” Therese tried a different tactic.

Carol just laughed and pulled away long enough to reply. “She just fell asleep. She usually naps for an hour in the afternoon. We have time.” She smiled coyly.

Therese swallowed. A curl of Carol's hair had fallen over her forehead and Therese felt herself become so aroused that she tried to imagine how she would survive for much longer. “Carol ...” she sighed.

Carol must have taken some pity on her because she removed one of her hands from Therese's breasts and pulled the zipper of Therese’s jeans down in one jarring motion. The jolt of the metal and fabric in that general area was almost enough to send Therese over the edge. Therese brought her hands down to undo the button of her jeans to allow Carol easier access, but Carol's quick hands caught hers before they could. 

“No,” Carol simply said. “You can touch me.” Therese tentatively laid her hands down on Carol's shoulders, then slid them lower to her chest, feeling the soft shapes of Carol’s breasts rising and falling with each rapid breath. Carol's fingers deftly pushed the button through the buttonhole and she slid her hand down inside Therese's panties. Her fingers momentarily lingered, brushing through soft curls before proceeding lower.

“Oh,” Carol gasped. Her fingers slid against Therese's wetness effortlessly and Therese struggled to breathe. Behind her closed eyes, colors swam and lights exploded as Carol's fingers moved and caressed. She pushed her hips harder into Carol's hand, suddenly hating all the clothing between them. Her fingers roughly unbuttoned Carol's shirt and she greedily pressed her lips against Carol's beautiful cleavage as soon as it was in sight. Her fingers tore the shirt apart, pushing it over Carol's shoulders. Carol shrugged the shirt off one arm, letting it all dangle off her other arm that she never removed from Therese's pants. 

“Can I have your fingers … inside … please?” Therese gasped. She immediately felt Carol’s answer deep within her. 

Nearly out of her mind, Therese unclasped Carol's bra with some difficulty. Her fingers no longer seemed to respond to their owner due to the spell cast on her brain by the activity of Carol's fingers. The bra also fell down Carol's busy arm. _God, her breasts are perfect,_ thought Therese. She brought her lips and tongue to one of Carol's bare breasts. She brushed her cheek against the hardened nipple before taking it in her mouth. She heard Carol moan, slow and needy. She did the same to the other nipple as Carol's fingers nearly drove her insane. 

Apparently, Carol decided to change course. She withdrew her hand from Therese's pants eliciting a vocal complaint out of Therese before she pulled off Therese’s shirt and gently lowered her to the floor. The wooden floorboards were cool against her back. Carol flung off her own shirt and bra hanging on her arm. She pulled Therese's pants and underwear down together before removing her own and adding them to the growing pile of clothing in the hallway. Therese hastily took off her bra. Finally naked, Carol aligned their bodies, skin on skin, heart to heart. Carol's weight felt wonderful and Therese pulled her tighter. Carol tenderly brushed back Therese's hair and then kissed her. It was a promise, a glimpse of what was to come, and it set Therese instantly on fire. Her hands traveled over Carol's back, feeling every ridge of rib, tracing shoulder blades, and admiring the soft slope of her shapely waist. 

Carol moved lower, her lips touching on jawline, collarbone, breasts, and stomach before she spread Therese's legs and allowed her tongue to part wet, silken lips. Therese rose up, but Carol's hand held her down, palm pressed just below her navel. Carol's tongue licked and swirled and then dipped in, making Therese cry out and reach out for anything to hold on to, but there was only Carol. Carol's hands pushed Therese's legs up toward her torso, bending them at the knees and then lifting her feet off the floor so that she was spread as open as possible for Carol's mouth. Carol's hands pressed down on the backs of Therese's thighs, holding her there in that position. And then Carol’s tongue licked upward, finally stopping over that magical place. She gently drew Therese into her mouth in a slow, delicious vacuum. Her tongue began rhythmic ministrations that had Therese's legs involuntarily jerking. Carol moved her hands to hold Therese by her ankles, keeping her legs in place above Carol’s shoulders, knees splayed wide. Therese felt the forces coursing through her body, threatening to destroy her. She tried to put her feet down, but Carol's hands held her legs up and the sheer realization of what Carol was doing to her made her cry out in absolute adoration and arousal. The knowledge spun her quickly to her destination, no time for any stops along the way. 

“Carol, please. I can't -” she begged, “I need -” She was hardly able to form words, her only thoughts on Carol's tongue and the incredible things it was doing to her. Hearing her lover’s plea, Carol released Therese's legs. As the soles of Therese's feet smashed against the parquet floor, their eyes and hands met and Therese trembled and shattered. Her body shook uncontrollably before she collapsed on the floor, spent. She felt Carol take her time and kiss the inside of her thigh before she moved up to kiss her on the lips.

“Oh, Carol.” She tried to breathe, let alone talk.

“I know, darling. I know.” Carol caressed her face, her hand cool against Therese's flushed face. She turned to Carol and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, kissing her on the neck.

Therese stayed there, trying to form thoughts and words, letting her mind and body return to its normal state. But her lips against Carol's neck had a mind of their own and they had a different idea. She urged Carol up on top of her and Carol sat up, straddling her. Carol deliberately leaned her head forward and then back, flipping her hair out of her face. Therese sat up, too, cognizant of the hard floor beneath her. She kissed Carol and Carol leaned into it, their tongues gently exploring, Carol cradling her face in her hands. Therese's fingers located the burning wetness between Carol's legs and she played her fingers back and forth as Carol began to move on top of her. Therese slid a finger inside Carol and curled it towards her. She held her other hand to Carol's lower back. Carol arched back, radiant, eyes closed. Therese added another finger. She had never seen anything so lovely. She added a thumb to the mix and Carol softly swore and rocked harder. Together they moved, a simple rhythm leading to a crashing crescendo. Carol clung to Therese until the shocks subsided. Together they held each other, hands caressing hair, softly trailing over skin, still learning landmarks and favorite places. 

Carol kissed her, barely grazing her lips against each of Therese’s eyelids before sitting up straight. “Well,” she said, a twinkle in her eye, “would you like to come in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit it, folks, it's a filler chapter. But I feel badly for leaving you so long without an update. For the fluff lovers, you'll get more at some point. I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> -Pentimento


	17. Conversations

 

_I begin to long for some little language such as lovers use, broken words, inarticulate words, like the shuffling of feet on pavement. -Virginia Woolf_

 

When they reluctantly separated on Sunday morning, they both agreed they had much to do during the week before their date on Friday night. In addition to their busy work schedules, Carol intended to have a real talk with Abby and Therese intended to tell Dannie about Carol over drinks during the week.

On Monday, the steady stream of work picked up right where it left off for Therese. Although she barely had time to think once she arrived at the office, her mind still wandered to Carol at every opportunity. Her only down-time was the hour she was allotted for lunch. She often considered just working right through in order to accomplish everything she needed to do, but her boss was a stickler for rules, and they were required to clock out for lunch. So she used the time to grab a sandwich and take a walk to clear her head. However, upon stepping outside, the sun shone mysteriously brighter, the colors around her more vibrant, and the air she breathed unusually fresher. She realized that although her head was full, she had absolutely no intention of clearing the new and wonderful thoughts that pervaded her every brain cell.

On Tuesday morning she got a text from Carol. She had been glancing back and forth between hundreds of images on both her computer monitors when she felt her phone vibrate. She quickly pulled it from her pocket.

> Can I see you at lunchtime?

Therese knew she was probably glowing had anyone been looking at her, but everyone seemed engrossed with their computer screens when she glanced up.

> Yes

Carol's reply followed shortly, Therese's eyes never leaving her phone.

> I'll be out front at 12:10.

Therese agreed to meet her and set her phone down next to her keyboard. She looked at the clock on her screen. She still had over an hour to suffer through work, so she focused her mind in an effort to make time pass quickly. Despite her resolve to concentrate, the effort still could not erase the slight smile that played about her lips.

 

* * *

 

_Meanwhile, let us abolish the ticking of time’s clock with one blow. Come closer. -Virginia Woolf_

 

Carol pulled into the yellow loading zone in front of The Times building and hoped she didn't get a ticket in the short time she'd be waiting. Her worries were needless though, and she saw Therese exit the building and nearly skip to her car.

"Hi,” she said breathlessly as she climbed in and shut the door.

"Hi, yourself,” said Carol. She was happy that she had made the effort to see Therese, even if it was a short time and even if Abby had given her playful grief. Carol noted Therese's clothes out of the corner of her eye and liked how she looked in her more formal work attire.

The car eased away from the curb. "Are you hungry? Do you want to get a sandwich somewhere?” Carol asked as she pulled into the noon hour traffic.

"Sure,” Therese replied. "There's a little cafe a couple blocks over that's pretty good. They have good salads, too.” She motioned for Carol to turn right at the next light.

"Sounds divine, although I don't really care about the food. I just wanted to see you,” Carol admitted with a slight grin, glancing over.

Carol glanced over. Therese smiled broadly, her dimples showing, and Carol was pleased by her reaction.

 _I could eat soup out of those dimples,_ thought Carol fondly.

“How is Rindy?” Therese inquired.

“She's teething,” Carol grimaced. “She’s chewing and drooling on everything, but somehow she still manages to be a happy baby. I can't imagine it feels good.”

They miraculously found parking only a block away, a Lexus fortuitously signalling to pull out just as they turned a corner. With Therese leading the way, they entered the cafe a short time later. The waitress greeted them with an invitation to seat themselves, so they found a private booth near the back. They ordered coffee and iced tea, a spinach salad for Carol and an egg salad sandwich for Therese.

"Did you talk with Abby?” Therese inquired once the waitress left to place their orders.

"Yes.” Carol shyly grinned.

"And?”

"Actually, it went well. She's happy for me.” She paused. "She wasn't happy that I lied to her about your car. I think she was hurt that I kept something … important … from her, but I apologized and tried to make up for it by telling her all about you.” Carol smiled, tilting her head slightly

"All good things, I hope,” added Therese, laughing nervously.

"Of course,” Carol said, flirting almost openly now. "She wants to meet you,” Carol said more seriously.

Therese looked as if she didn't know what to say. Carol could read the anxiety on her face and tried to mollify it by saying what she knew to be true. "She's going to love you.” _Because I love you._ Therese appeared to relax some, the relief evident in her eyes.

"Is she ok with …us?” Therese asked tentatively. "It must be kind of strange, since you two were … have a history ...” She trailed off, her eyes focused on her fingers that nervously toyed with the packets of sweeteners sitting in a ramekin on the table between them.

Carol could see that Therese was struggling to say what was really bothering her. "Abby loves me, yes, but she also knows that it will never be that way between us. She's my best friend and she wants to see me happy.” Carol sat back against the booth. “Lord knows she's had to put up with me during some difficult times, so she's probably secretly relieved.” She took a breath. “And you? Have you told Dannie?”

Excitement flashed across Therese’s face. "Not yet. We're going to get some drinks after work tonight. I plan to tell him then.”

"Are you nervous?” Carol asked after the waitress had delivered their beverages.

"A little, but I think once it's over I'll be relieved.” Therese took a sip of her tea. As she put down her glass, Carol leaned forward and took Therese's hand in hers, the cold from the glass quickly disappeared between the warmth of their hands.

"Will you let me know how it goes?” Carol asked her.

"Yes,” Therese said, nodding but looking at their hands. She ran her thumb over the smooth hills of Carol’s knuckles.

"You know you're welcome to call me anytime,” Carol said quietly. "Rindy is usually asleep around 8:00.”

Therese looked up and Carol found herself drawn to her deep green eyes. Today they were splashed with turquoise specks the color of water on a tropical beach. Therese smiled at the invitation, her dimples showing ever so slightly.

A runner from the kitchen brought out their food and they settled napkins in their lap and began to eat, silently concerned with the time. When their waitress checked on them, Therese surprised Carol by requesting the check and insisted on paying for their lunch.

"Will I see you before Friday?” Therese asked her, taking a sip of her iced tea.

"Probably not. I'm quite busy this week. We are receiving a huge shipment of furniture that Abby bought on her trip,” Carol said, dejectedly. "I'd like to though,” she added truthfully, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She saw Therese's disappointment and tried to cheer her up by saying, "But that will make our date even more special.” Carol gave her a quick wink. Therese blushed, making Carol's heart beat double-time.

As they got up to leave, Carol lightly touched Therese's elbow with her hand as they made their way to the front door. Carol opened the door with one arm and used her other hand to guide Therese through, her hand low on the small of the shorter woman’s back. _Little touches, little gifts,_ she thought, _until we see each other again._

Carol took Therese’s hand on the walk to the car and Therese's fingers eagerly slid between hers. Therese looked over and met Carol’s eyes, a pleased expression lighting up her face. As they neared the car, Carol walked Therese to the passenger's side and opened the car door. As she turned around, Carol hesitated and then leaned in and caught Therese on the lips with the softest kiss, tender and unexpected. A hand on the back of Therese's neck gently held her close. The kiss conjured up the past and future in an assemblage of images and desires that raced through their minds. Carol broke it off far too soon for either of them, but she was conscious of the time. "I've missed you,” she whispered, slightly breathless. “I've been wanting to do that.” Therese stood frozen in place, still relishing the impromptu kiss. Carol stepped away smiling and walked to the driver's side.

Somehow Therese broke the trance she was in and got in the car with a grin. They drove in silence back to her work, but along the way, Therese's hand slid over and covered Carol's right hand that had been resting on the gearshift. As she put her car in park, Carol looked at Therese, imprinting the young woman's image in her brain until the next time she laid eyes on her.

"Good-bye, Carol,” Therese said, reluctant to go and still holding Carol's hand.

Carol squeezed her hand. "Good-bye, darling. Call me tonight, if you want.”

Therese got out of the car, but turned back around for one last look. The last thing Carol remembered were those dimples.

 

* * *

 

_The trees wave, the clouds pass. The time approaches when these soliloquies shall be shared. -Virginia Woolf_

 

Carol's cell phone rang at 10:27. She had almost resigned herself to the fact that Therese wasn't going to call. She looked at the screen and pressed the green button.

"You called,” Carol answered, grateful.

"Carol ...”

Moments lapsed with nothing but their breathing coming through the receivers. Carol made her way to the couch and sat down.

"Are you busy?" Therese's voice sounded happy.

"Not at all. Did you talk to Dannie?”

"I did! We went out for drinks tonight. It actually took me a couple drinks to work up the courage.” Therese giggled. "But then we ended up laughing and playing pool and I just told him I met someone and he laughed and said that explained why I had been hiding all week.”

Carol smiled to herself, but let Therese continue talking, enjoying the way the alcohol lubricated her tongue.

"Then I told him I met a woman and I don't think he really knew what to say at first, but then he started talking about affinities and how people are attracted to certain people like pinballs bouncing off one another and it was really loud in the bar and I think I might have had a little too much to drink because I don't think I understood all of what he was saying, but at the end of the night he hugged me and told me how happy he was for me and how proud of me he was and he knew that even though we’re practically best friends, it still took courage to tell him and he’s glad that I decided to tell him."

She trailed off and Carol couldn't have hidden the smile on her face had she wanted. Therese's run-on sentences were endearing and she didn't want them to stop. However, she decided she should contribute to the conversation.

"I'm happy it went so well for you. Did you talk about whether you wanted your other co-workers to know?” Carol asked.

"Yes, I told him I don't care who knows. It was definitely after I had a few drinks, but the more I thought about it, I don't care. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life and you're the reason, and my friends and people who know me should know why.”

Carol's heart beat rapidly, echoing in her ears.

"You make me happy, too,” Carol said softly. "More than you know.”

There was a long pause on the line, then Therese finally said, "Give Rindy a kiss for me?”

"Of course. She's wearing the pajamas you gave her.” Carol thought she could almost hear Therese smile on the other end of the line. And then she heard what she knew to be a muffled yawn.

"Goodnight, Carol.”

"Goodnight, my darling.”


	18. d'Air to Dream

_It was love, she thought, love that never clutch its object; but, like the love which mathematicians bear their symbols, or poets their phrases, was meant to be spread over the world and become part of human gain. - Virginia Woolf_

"You look very fine,” Carol said, unabashedly, as she opened the door..

Therese felt Carol's eyes sweep over her from hair to shoes, and back up to her eyes. But it surprisingly didn't make her feel like an object – rather she felt loved. Extra time had been spent this evening in making sure her wine-colored dress hung perfectly and her straight, dark hair stayed where she put it. She had carefully applied a little makeup for the occasion. Carol seemed to appreciate her efforts.

"Thank you. You look magnificent,” Therese returned the compliment along with a small smile as she absorbed the sight before her. Carol was wearing a black dress that ended just above her knees. The neckline was cut just enough to show her collarbone and the pristine skin of her chest. She had pinned her blonde hair back in a French roll, simple and classy.

Carol smiled a smile at Therese that made her blood rush warm through her veins. "Come in,” she said, stepping aside and letting Therese enter. "I made our reservation for 8:00.”

She guided Therese by the hand into the living room. "Abby, I'd like you to meet Therese. Therese, Abby.” An auburn brunette rose from the seat by the window where she was sitting with Rindy and smiled, extending her hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you, Abby.” They shook hands. Therese directed her attention lower. "Hi, Rindy,” she said, softly touching the baby’s cheek. Rindy leaned toward Therese and smiled, but Therese made no attempt to take the child, keenly aware that Abby might already resent her for being with Carol. Carol leaned against the counter, just watching them.

"Carol tells me you work for The New York Times.” Abby threw out a conversation starter as she returned to her chair, settling comfortably with Rindy on her lap. Each of her hands mindlessly played with the little girl’s hands as they relaxed together.

"I do, in the photography department, but it's nothing glamorous. It's only entry level. Someday I'd like to take photos professionally though.” She turned to the bookshelf, running her fingers over leather-bound spines.

"She's very talented,” Carol interjected and smiled at her.

“I can see that,” Abby said, nodding toward the now-framed photo of Carol and Rindy sleeping on Therese’s sofa that adorned the left side of the mantel. “You really captured the moment.”

“Thank you,” Therese said quietly, unaccustomed to praise, her discomfort evident in the way she twisted and played with the rings on her fingers.

“You know, we need someone to take professional photographs of the furniture if we’re serious about updating our website,” Abby added, musing out loud to no one in particular, her eyes unfocused on the ceiling above Carol’s head. She turned her head toward Therese. “Do you ever do any contract work? Would you be interested?” 

“I do, and yes, I’d love to. I’m available most nights and weekends. Carol has my number,” she added. _Stop talking now._

“I would hope so,” Abby answered, but the smile on her face was kind, not challenging.

Therese blushed as she met Carol’s amused eyes. She looked back at Abby, changing the subject. "How long have you owned the furniture store?”

"Five? Yeah, about five years I guess. It's not a bad job, especially when this one's in a good mood,” she said, flicking her wrist toward Carol.

Carol just smiled, but she was obviously uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

"I've never heard so much singing as I've heard this week,” Abby continued teasing her while winking conspiratorially at Therese. “It starts in the morning and somehow she still has a voice left to croon all afterno…”

"AND we should get going on we're going to miss our reservation.” Carol stepped forward, putting an end to Abby's joking around. Abby just smiled, enjoying herself. Carol walked over to Abby and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you so much for watching Rindy tonight.” She bent and kissed her daughter's cheek. "Be a good girl. I love you,” she said softly to little girl.

"Wait, speaking of photographs, let me take a picture of you two all dressed up before you go,” Abby demanded. "Give me your phone.” She held her hand out toward Carol.

"It's not junior prom, Abby,” Carol argued, shaking her head, but Abby was insistent.

Realizing that she was the background photo on Carol's phone, Therese piped up, "Here, you can use mine. I have it right here.” She pulled her phone from her small purse and handed it to Abby. Abby set Rindy down on the floor and motioned for them to stand in front of the fireplace. Carol mouthed Therese a silent, "Thank you."

"I should have brought you a corsage,” Therese whispered as Carol's arm curled around her shoulders and pulled her close. Carol let out a small snort. Therese grinned and slinked her arm around Carol’s thin waist.

"Smile.” Abby took the photo, their arms around each other. She glanced at the screen. “One more.” She felt Carol’s arm squeeze her ever so slightly before her hand moved to Therese’s lower back. As Therese stepped forward to take the phone back from Abby, Carol's hand lightly but intentionally brushed her backside. Stunned but thrilled, Therese took the phone without making eye contact with either woman. _Jesus Christ. It's going to be a long night._

They gathered their purses and said their goodbyes again, Carol giving Rindy extra love before she left. Therese lightly touched the little girl on her head as she wished her goodnight. 

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do!” called Abby as they exited from the house to the garage. Carol just shook her head and closed the door. 

Once in the car, Carol handed Therese a single, long-stemmed red rose that was waiting on the dash. "For you,” she said, her eyes sparkling.

"Carol ...” Therese breathed. She just stared at the red petals, not really seeing what was in her hands, but rather what was held in her heart.

As Carol backed out of the garage, Therese stole a look at her. She was gorgeous and seemingly happier than Therese had ever seen her, smiling widely.

"What?” Therese asked.

"All my girls in the same room.”

* * *

The highly acclaimed restaurant was one of the gems of the city and showcased innovative, mouthwatering, world-class cuisine. It had recently received its first Michelin star and reservations were impossible to obtain as New Yorkers and tourists alike flocked to the culinary destination in the Flatiron District, but Carol had pulled some strings earlier in the week.

“It's amazing the influence a specimen like an 18th century, hand-carved, four-poster bed can have,” she said to Abby. It would set her back some, but Abby had agreed it was worth it and the highly-coveted reservation was Carol’s. So Abby placed a tented, calligraphed “Hold for Customer” sign on the antique bed to show it was no longer for sale. 

“A bribe of a bed that will get you into someone's bed!” Abby had laughed until a yellow legal pad flew by her head Frisbee-style.

Carol snapped back to the present as Therese’s voice broke her train of thought.

“So, where are we going?” Therese asked, letting her hand settle on Carol’s thigh.

“I know I said we’re going to dinner, but think of it more as a culinary adventure,” Carol said, her excitement evident in the way her hands left the steering wheel as she talked animatedly. “The restaurant is named d’Air.” She gave Therese a brief overview as their car glided through the twilight.

“Abby took a date here during their soft opening last year and said it was the best meal of her life. She recommended we choose the _menu dégustation.”_ Carol looked over her shoulder before she changed lanes. “Basically, it consists of many small courses that highlight the chef’s signature dishes. They even pair wines with each course if we want to go that route.” 

“Wine makes me feel naughty, but in a good way,” Therese suddenly blurted out.

Carol hoped the slight veering of the car or the flush on her cheeks didn’t give her away her inward reaction.

* * *

_One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. -Virginia Woolf_

Carol discreetly handed the valet a generous tip and in return, tucked the valet ticket into her purse. An elegantly suited woman held the door open for them with a small nod of her head and a, “Good evening.”

The room bustled with a steady hum of electricity as they stepped into the foyer. Silverware clinked against plates, low but merry conversations buzzed about, and wait staff strode purposefully around the perfectly lit room. Together it all created a special ambience. A wall of fresh flowers banked the host stand, but the smells in the air were not of flowers, but of food. As they took in all the tables full of patrons talking, laughing, eating, and drinking, more than a few eyes fell up the two beautiful women who had just entered. What had been striking conversations were suddenly reduced to incoherent murmurs or were completely forgotten. They made an exquisite pair as they checked their coats – one blonde dressed in black, the brunette in her garnet dress standing very close to her.

A slight hesitancy had enveloped them, as if they were unsure how to interact with each other out in public. However, as Carol started to take off her coat, she felt Therese behind her, reaching over to peel the jacket’s lapels over her shoulders and slide the garment down her arms. As they made their way to their table, Carol stepped aside, laying her hand on the small of Therese's back to guide her toward the far chair being held out by the maitre'd. And before Carol even had a chance to look at the wine list, she felt Therese's foot against hers under the starched white tablecloth.

"Sorry,” Therese murmured, withdrawing it while unfolding her napkin across her lap.

"Don't be,” Carol answered, and moved her foot just enough so that it came back into contact with Therese again. Without having to focus on the face above the substantial wine list, Carol could see Therese smile. Carol finished reading the dossier of wines and closed the leather book, handing it across the table. 

After giving Therese a few minutes to look at the list, Carol asked, "What sounds good?”

"I'm in the mood for a white. How does the _Spottswoode Sauvignon Blanc_ sound?” Therese mused, her finger playing with her lower lip.

"It sounds wonderful,” Carol answered. When the smart-looking young sommelier in his pristine suit arrived at their table, Carol ordered a bottle.

"Richard never used to ask me what I wanted,” Therese said reflectively. "I don't know if he didn't care or it just never occurred to him.” She paused, suddenly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, this isn't the time to discuss old boyfriends.”

“It's fine,” Carol emboldened. "I suppose I feel sorry for him, in a way.” She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she sipped her sparkling water that had quietly appeared.

"Why?” Therese asked, surprised.

"Because he never got to know you. He never discovered your likes and dislikes. Your … desires,” she said tentatively, tilting her head suggestively.

Therese coughed as she inhaled versus swallowed the sip of water she had been drinking. As Carol mentally congratulated herself, she reached out and touched Therese’s hand. "Are you okay, darling?"

Therese nodded, taking a second, more successful drink this time, her eyes never leaving the hand on hers. She swallowed, calmer this time, and Carol pulled her hand back. 

"How long were you and Richard together?" Carol asked, curious. 

Therese's eyelashes flew up, surprised by the question. "Seven months. Why?"

"No reason."

The sommelier interrupted with their bottle of wine, displaying the bottle label facing out on his towel-clad forearm, then deftly uncorking it before providing the cork and pouring a taste for Carol to sample. Without looking at the man, Carol pushed the bottom of the wine glass across the tablecloth toward Therese with one finger and a glimmer in her eye. Therese's eyes widened with pleasure as she picked up the glass to swirl the citrine liquid. She inhaled and then took a sip. Smiling, she nodded and he poured first hers and then Carol's before placing the rest of the bottle in a bucket of ice to chill next to the table..

They raised their glasses, neither’s eyes ever leaving each other. “What shall we toast to?” asked Carol. 

“To us,” Therese answered. They clinked glasses and sipped the cool liquid while watching the other.

"You have excellent taste, Miss Belivet,” murmured Carol. Therese smiled demurely and Carol hoped it was one of many times tonight she witnessed those dimples.

Carol glanced around the room covertly, satisfied that her theory was confirmed. _I am sitting with the most beautiful woman in the room._ Perhaps it had something to do with reds and greens being opposites, but the dark red dress brought out the green in Therese's eyes, saturating her irises with chroma Carol hadn't seen before. Therese had applied mascara, making her eyes appear even wider and more vibrant. Her dark hair was pulled back, each perfect hair in place. All of these dark colors were the perfect compliment to her porcelain skin. She was exquisite and Carol hadn't anticipated how difficult it would be to sit across from her for the entirety of a dinner, so close yet so far away.

Therese fidgeted with her silverware and shifted in her chair. Carol wondered how long she had been staring and picked up her menu. "Are you hungry?”

"I'm suddenly starving,” admitted Therese sheepishly. She, too, lifted her menu and they danced through the dishes together, discussing what sounded appetizing. Both agreed the _menu dégustation_ was a no brainer, but they decided to opt out of the wine pairings and just enjoy their bottle.

Carol was struck with the realization that she wished she could pause time. She never wanted to forget this evening. They would never be right here again. 

This wasn't a typical first date. They had certainly spent time together before in each other’s company. But the way Therese looked at her tonight, they way she still hadn't moved her foot away under the table, and the feeling she had deep in her stomach made her realize it would be forever emblazoned in her mind. Like an unexpected wave of nausea, it dawned on Carol that she was nervous. _You’ve been on dates before, you nitwit._ But this one felt different. She reached for her wine glass. As she swallowed, her eyes met the green ones across from her and she wondered if Therese was nervous, too.

Their server for the evening warmly greeted them as she placed a small square plate in front of each woman. “Here we have an _amuse bouche_ from the chef. This is our **Marshmallow Carbonara** , which, like a traditional carbonara has bacon and egg, but this preparation is sweeter. The technique involves using gelatin to form the bacon-laced disk on the bottom and the yolk on top is jellified using molecular gastronomy. Enjoy.”

No sooner had they ran out of words to describe the sheer exquisiteness of the marshmallow concoction, their server appeared at their table with two ice molds brimming with something sublime. “I present to you our _Iced Margaritas with Salted Air_. The tequila-based frappé is topped with an emulsion of water, salt, and lecithin. Pink Himalayan salt flakes finish it off. Enjoy.”

Using the small spoons resting next to the ice molds, they scooped up the mixtures and tasted, savoring the combination of sweet, sour, and salty flavors and the various textures accompanying them. 

The courses kept appearing at their table, in no rush, but at the same time, never leaving them impatiently waiting. It was a dinner meant to be enjoyed, with no worries or hurries associated with it. 

They tasted green olives that weren’t green olives at all, but rather delightful orbs derived from an olive puree and formed into spheres. The spheres were served in small glass jars and topped with a thyme, rosemary, peppercorn, and citrus zest olive oil. Steamed brioches with crumbled buffalo mozzarella proceeded a luscious lobster soup that both women enjoyed immensely. 

The first main course arrived, the perfectly adorned plates placed in front of each woman from their left. Their server gave her spiel. “Here you have our **Scallops with a Cauliflower Couscous.** Each diver scallop is ecologically hand harvested before the chef browns them in a pan while basting them with _beurre monté_. These sit atop a bed of curry butter braised cauliflower whose texture resembles couscous. Hazelnut foam and some vanilla oil finish it off. Please enjoy.” She left their table with a nod and the purposeful walk all the wait staff employed. 

They marveled over the tender perfection of the scallops’ interiors contrasted with the delicious flavor and brown exterior the Maillard reaction gave the succulent flesh flavor during the searing process. Carol adored the faux couscous with its curry butter while Therese was captivated by the hazelnut foam.

After the plates from the scallops had been cleared away with nothing but smears remaining on their surfaces, Therese looked at the two couples on either side of them before she leaned forward and spoke quietly. 

“This is amazing,” she grinned, “but it would be nice if we could talk somewhere more ... private when we’re done here." She blushed, breaking eye contact. 

If Carol had been nervous before, it was nothing compared to the heat and flush she felt accompany the feeling in her stomach now. She adored how Therese could be both forward in her utterances, and yet bashful at the same time. She found it such an alluring combination. 

“I think that can be arranged,” Carol said slowly, raising her eyebrows a bit. Therese met her eyes again and beamed.

While luxuriating in the second entrée, a meat dish consisting of **Braised Calf’s Liver with Shallot Gravy and Puree of Potatoes,** the women debated whether they could even bear to look at the dessert after having eaten so many courses. Despite their worries, by the time the artistic dessert plates were set in front of them, nothing was going to stop them from tasting each and every stunning component.

“Ladies, our pastry chef has prepared a **Rhubarb Galette** for you. Here we have poached rhubarb on an olive oil biscuit, topped with yogurt mousse and a caramelized arlette, and it’s garnished with candied coconut, rhubarb chips, and finished with coconut gel. Enjoy.”

By the time their server offered them coffees and served them a small plate of artisan chocolates made in-house by the pastry chef, they had eaten most of the galettes. Therese had even managed to talk Carol out of half of her caramelized arlette using her dimples as a bartering tool.

Hours had passed since they had entered the restaurant and tables were slowly beginning to be vacated for the remainder of the evening by other parties.

* * *

_Our separate drops are dissolved; we are extinct, lost in the abysses of time, in the darkness. -Virginia Woolf_

They retrieved their coats and exited the restaurant into the cool night air with wishes for a good evening following them out the door.

“Do you mind walking two blocks?” Carol asked. “We could probably stand to burn a few calories.” Carol laughed half-heartedly, wisps of blonde hair falling over her right eye.

Therese shook her head no, a puzzled expression on her face. She followed Carol up the block, catching up and walking evenly next to her. The second time their hands brushed against each other, she laced their fingers together.

It was an amazing restaurant and the food was delicious, but she had suddenly had enough. Enough food, enough of other people's eyes, enough of not being able to talk to and touch Carol like she so desperately needed. But now that they were outside, Therese had no idea what came next and some nerves accompanied that unknown. She didn't necessarily want to go to Carol's and face Abby and the awkwardness of whatever came after that. She was thankful she had decided to clean up her apartment a little and put fresh linens on her bed, just in case Carol decided to stay at her place. But Carol said nothing, divulging no clues. Therese wondered if Carol was nervous, too, or even knew where she was going. But instead of questions, they just walked up the street. 

At the corner they crossed the street and when they reached the opposite curb, Carol turned and pulled Therese by the hand at a right angle, leading her down another block. 

“Would you like to have a drink with me?” Carol asked, stopping in front of The Gramercy Park Hotel’s entrance and a sign advertising the Hotel’s _Rose Bar_ and _Jade Bar._

“Of course,” Therese answered. She hoped they could find a relatively quiet corner. 

They entered the lobby and Therese saw the entrance to the _Rose Bar_ across the room, but Carol walked straight for a bank of elevators and pressed the button. _The other bar must be at the top of the hotel,_ thought Therese. 

A high pitched ding sounded. An up arrow lit up and doors slid open. Carol motioned for Therese to enter first. As the elevator doors closed, Carol pushed a button and then turned and slid her arm around Therese's waist, pulling her close. Therese was strangely relieved by the contact, the warmth along the side of her, the solidity of Carol. She leaned closer and closed her eyes, but the elevator dinged again, much too soon to be at the top. Carol released her and the doors opened. Carol took a few steps forward and turned around. Therese stood inside the elevator, not moving.

"Are you coming, slowpoke?” She tilted her head quizzically. The elevator doors began to close, but Carol shot her hand out, forcing them to stay open. The realization hit her. Carol never intended the elevator to go to the top of the hotel. It had opened to a long, carpeted hallway of identical hotel room doors.

Seeing Therese's confusion and then sudden realization, Carol took her hand off the elevator door and extended it to Therese. As if in a trance, Therese watched her hand rise to meet Carol's, fingers softly enveloped in Carol’s fingers. She stepped out.

Carol gently led her down the hallway by her hand until they stopped in front of Room 623. Carol let go of her hand to open her clutch and take out a key card. She touched it to the sensor on the door and a green light lit up. Carol put the card away and pushed the door handle down.

As she followed Carol inside, she watched Carol remove her coat and she noticed how nicely the black dress followed the curve of Carol's hips. As Carol turned to the side, Therese's eyes were drawn to her flat stomach and she felt the incredible need to splay her hand there, feeling the texture of the fabric over Carol's skin. The heels Carol wore created a beautiful line that accentuated the muscular curves of her calves. Carol dropped her purse on the table. Jolted back to reality, Therese realized that Carol was looking at her.

"Is this ok?” Carol asked softly, moving closer until they faced each other, only inches apart.

"You got us a room,” Therese banally stated, still stunned.

"Yes.” But Carol looked uneasy, as if she had made a terrible assumption, so Therese quickly spoke up.

"It's nice. I didn't know where we were going - I thought we were getting a drink. I just knew I wanted to be with you.” She paused and then added, smiling, "Alone.” She saw relief in Carol’s eyes.

“We _are_ going to have a drink,” Carol said softly. “Privately.”

She managed to drag her eyes away from Carol long enough to glance around the room. It was indeed a nice room. Very nice, in fact. Propped against the pillows was a single red rose that matched the one Carol had given her in the car. A bottle of champagne chilled on ice. And there on a stand against the wall was a suitcase. 

"I brought some things for you, too. I wanted it to be a surprise,” Carol told her, noticing where her eyes landed.

A sudden thought entered Therese's mind. "What about Rindy?"

Carol laughed. "I'm sure she's sleeping by now. I told Abby not to expect us tonight, although I didn't give her any details." 

She paused and took Therese's hand in hers, raised it up, and tenderly kissed the back of it. "Tonight's just you and me, darling."

Therese looked up at Carol, a mixture of adoration and joy on her face. The nervousness she had experienced earlier had lessened, slowly being replaced with keen anticipation. She reached up and around the back of Carol's head, letting her fingers find the clip keeping Carol's hair in place. She gently squeezed and released the clip, letting Carol's hair fall to her shoulders. Beautiful wavy curls framed her face, the memory of the French roll still imprinted upon the strands. Therese dropped the clip on top of the bureau and allowed her fingers to roam through the curls as Carol's eyelids grew heavy. Carol's hands came to rest on Therese's hips. Therese could feel the cool fingers through the soft fabric of her dress as she watched Carol's chest begin rising and falling rapidly. 

"Carol,” she breathed heavily, mesmerized by the gorgeous gray eyes in front of her.

"Tell me what you want,” Carol answered softly.

"Kiss me. Please.”

And Carol willingly obliged.

Their lips met tenderly, each relishing the moment. They had all night. Therese found the back of Carol's neck with her hand and pulled her closer. Her other hand softly held Carol's cheek. Carol's hands wandered up over the expanse of Therese's back. 

Therese felt the tip of Carol's tongue softly ask permission as it grazed her lips and she allowed her mouth to open to Carol's touch. Therese tilted her head and Carol deepened the kiss, tongues finding each other, breathing becoming heavier. Carol's arms pulled her closer, their chests pressed together, each desperately clinging to each other.

Therese slid her hand from Carol's cheek down over her jawline and against her neck. She broke off the kiss and followed the path with her lips and her tongue, addicted to the soft skin beneath Carol's jaw. She gently nipped and sucked as Carol let her head fall back, moaning so softly that Therese felt the vibrations on her lips rather than heard it.

Carol's hands found the zipper running down Therese's back and unzipped her dress to her hips. Carol's hand discovered soft skin beneath the open fabric and she ran her hand down from Therese's bra strap to below her waistline.

Therese felt a pang of electricity, of warmth, of blood and energy and potential begin to build and form low in her body. She was aware of a discomfort between her legs, an ache that grew stronger the longer she was around Carol. She squirmed slightly and Carol took the opportunity to slide the dress down her arms, letting it hang from her hips.

Carol pulled back and looked at her, sliding a hand over Therese’s chest, fingertips just grazing the edges of her black lace bra. She reached around with one hand and unhooked it, sliding the straps off Therese’s shoulders. Carol tugged the remaining dress down past Therese's hips to the floor. Therese stepped out of it, leaving her shoes behind, too. Noticing the even greater height disparity, Carol bent down and slipped off her heels before gently coaxing Therese backward toward the bed.

Therese hungrily found Carol's mouth again, the kiss wetter and more hurried now. Therese took Carol by the waist and then let her hands slide over the curve of Carol's hips. There, her fingers began to gather the material of Carol's dress, inching it higher until her fingertips touched the soft skin of Carol's thighs. With fistfuls of fabric, she lifted her arms, encouraging Carol to do the same. She guided the black dress up and over Carol's head.

Therese dropped the dress on the floor, already forgotten, as she stood open-mouthed in front of Carol. The self-possessed, perfectly-in-control Carol was gone. The breathtaking figure that stood in front of her looked suddenly vulnerable. _She’s so lovely,_ thought Therese. Therese felt a new surge of wetness between her legs.

"You're so beautiful,” Therese whispered, bringing her lips to the skin below Carol's ear. She removed the rest of Carol's undergarments, her hands caressed Carol's breasts and Carol moaned softly before their mouths met again. Therese reveled in the feel of Carol's soft breasts and firm nipples pressing into her palms while Carol pressed their hips together. Therese broke the kiss, breathless, unable to continue standing on her shaky legs. 

"Take me to bed.”

Therese reclined back on the bed, adjusting a pillow beneath her head. Carol sat next to her hip and reached across and picked up the long-stemmed rose from the other pillow. She held it near Therese’s face, but when Therese lifted her head to inhale its scent, Carol dragged its bloom slowly down Therese’s body from neck to navel. Hypnotized by the soft petals brushing against her skin, Therese let her head fall back. Laying it across the nightstand, Carol gently settled on top of her, bracing herself with her arms. 

Gray eyes studied her, nothing said or done for a moment in time. Then Therese slowly let her fingers trace Carol’s lower lip before raising her head and claiming it. As their mouths burned and melted together, so did the the rest of them. Hands searched and found, like prodigal children returning home to the place they were meant to be. Fingers caressed and entered, permission not needed nor wanted. And through the night as they arched and cried out together, whispered ‘I love yous’ fell like the first warm raindrops of summer upon them and the stars fell down all around.

_There was no past, no future; merely the moment in its ring of light, and our bodies; and the inevitable climax, the ecstasy. - Virginia Woolf_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thank you goes out to the lovely Odeon who allowed me to shamelessly steal from the universe that she created in order to make mine more wondrous and realized.
> 
>  
> 
> _Spottswoode Estates' Sauvingon Blanc was chosen to honor their esteemed matriarch who passed away earlier this week._


	19. The Plan

  
_The truth is, I often like women. I like their unconventionality. I like their completeness. I like their anonymity. -Virginia Woolf_

Two antique brass bells hanging on the front door’s bar arm clanged as she stepped over the threshold. Therese stopped and leaned her tripod against the wall as she looked around. She let the strap of the camera bag on her left shoulder slide down into her waiting hand.

Glancing around the furniture-filled room as she made her way forward, her eyes searched for any sign of movement, but the only legged creatures in the showroom stood still. Suddenly, a door swung open along the back wall and Abby came rushing out. 

“Therese! I was hoping that was you.” They met near the center of the store and Abby threw one arm around Therese’s shoulders and squeezed as she continued talking. “Thank you for being willing to come in on a Sunday.”

“No problem,” Therese answered, setting her camera bag down on a chaise lounge.

Abby continued to encircle Therese’s shoulders with one arm as she gestured around the store. “I thought this corner would be the best place to take the photos. It has the most natural light and we can bring a few big lights out that we have in back if you need them. They’ll also come in handy if an item is too heavy for us to move it up front.”

Therese looked to where Abby was motioning. A vacant corner near the window looked like whatever had been there recently had been moved, making the space stand in stark contrast to the rest of the relatively crowded showroom.

“That should work fine. The lighting is good without having direct sunlight complicating matters.” Therese looked around at the furniture surrounding them. “Do you know which items you want photographed first?”

Abby withdrew her arm from Therese’s shoulder and reached into her back pocket. “I made a list of the items in terms of importance. Maybe we can start at the top and just see how far we can get today.” She handed the list over to Therese and stood with both hands on her hips. 

Therese scanned down the list of items. “I think we should be able to get through most of these today as long as you can help me move things.”

“Of course! We have a hand truck in back to make things much easier, too.” Abby took a few steps over toward a counter and picked up a coffee cup. Taking a sip, she raised it to Therese. “Would you like a cup? It’s much better when Carol makes it, but I do my best.”

Smiling, Therese nodded. “Yes, with just a little sugar, please.”

“If you want to take your bag up front and unpack, I’ll meet you up there,” Abby said as she pushed the swinging door to the back room open. 

Therese retrieved her camera bag and tripod and carried them to the empty corner of the store. She extended the tripod’s legs and locked them in place. Returning, Abby handed her a hot mug and Therese took a sip of the delightful smelling liquid. “Mmmm… vanilla?” she asked.

“I added some amaretto, actually. It helps mask my poor coffee making skills,” Abby said apologetically. Therese laughed. _Why not?_ she thought amused.

Supplied with caffeine, both women soon found a nice working rhythm. Using the hand truck, they retrieved each piece of furniture, bringing it to the mock photography studio in the front. Abby would do a few last minute swipes with a rag and furniture polish while Therese moved the tripod and adjusted the lighting. Abby occasionally had to stop to help customers as they came in, but luckily no browsing guests or sales took any lengthy amount of time.

However, by noon both women were both dusty, tired, and hot from moving furniture and working near the large lights. “Turn off those lights,” Abby ordered. “We’re locking up and I'm taking you to lunch.” 

With the doors locked and an “Out to Lunch” sign hung, they headed across the street. “There’s a new cafe a block and a half away. The food is really good,” Abby told her. “It’s French, but not pretentious.”

Entering the cafe, they stopped just inside as a smiling redhead greeted. “Good afternoon. You’re back!” she said to Abby. “Would you like your usual table?” She picked up two menus from the host stand.

“Yes, that would be fine,” Abby mumbled. As they made their way to a two-top across from the open kitchen, Abby quickly sat down with her back against the wall. “This is my friend, Therese. She’s dating my co-worker Carol who usually comes in with me.” 

“Hello,” the woman said to Therese. “I’m Genevieve, but most people just call me Gen.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Therese, wondering about the strange exchange. Looking across the table, she noticed how Abby was not only refusing to meet her eyes, but watching the woman walk away.

“Is she the owner?” asked Therese. 

“Yes,” Abby answered, bringing her attention back to the table.

“How long has the restaurant been open?” Therese picked up her menu and casually skimmed down the lunch items.

“A couple of weeks,” Abby answered, pretending to be engrossed in reading her menu.

“A couple of weeks and you’re a regular with a table already?” Therese teased.

Abby’s deep blush and the look she shot her told her all she needed to know. Therese tried to hide her grin.

Genevieve appeared tableside holding a tray. “You two look like you need a cold beverage, so I brought you some of our French lemonade on the house. It’s called Citron Pressé.” She set two glasses with ice in front of each woman. She explained how they were to mix each drink to their own liking as she placed sugar, a pitcher of water, and a carafe of freshly-squeezed lemon juice between them. After asking if they wanted anything else to drink, she left them to look over the menu for a few more minutes. 

Once Therese was feasting on the most incredible Croque-Monsieur and Abby was cutting into her savory crêpe oozing spinach, mushrooms, and Gruyère cheese did the conversation again turn toward work. “I think we should be able to finish up this afternoon,” Therese stated, imagining the list of furniture in her head and trying to remember where they had stopped. 

“I think we should call it a day,” Abby replied, looking up from her food. “We’ve worked hard, and that will give me plenty of images to get the website up and running. Carol has the day off and I’m sure you would rather spend the rest of it with her rather than me,” Abby said, a smile turning up one corner of her mouth as she reached for her lemonade. “We can finish photographing the rest of the furniture another day.”

Therese couldn’t hold back her smile at the mention of Carol. She had been thinking of her all morning, noticing traces of the woman she loved all over the store. 

“You light up at the mention of her name,” Abby laughed.

“You’re one to talk,” Therese quickly retorted, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

“Whatever do you mean?” Abby asked innocently.

Pushing her finished plate away, Therese just grinned and excused herself to use the restroom.

As she exited the restroom, she saw Genevieve standing next to their table laughing as Abby talked. Therese hesitated for a moment in the hallway just watching. Abby reached into her wallet, retrieved a card, and handed it to Genevieve. Genevieve looked at it for a moment, said something that made Abby smile, and then walked away with it. Therese started back to the table.

She pulled her chair back out and sat down. “How much was the check?” Therese asked Abby as she dug in her pocket for money. 

“I don’t know,” Abby replied. “We haven’t received it yet.”

“Oh, I thought I saw you pay as I came out of the restroom,” Therese said. Abby flashed her a look and before she could say anything, Genevieve dropped their check off at their table on her way to a nearby table to deliver drinks.

They both reached for the check. “I got it,” Abby said, whisking it away. “You can get it next time.”

“Oh, are we coming back soon?” Therese teased her. 

Looking like a criminal under interrogation, Abby fidgeted under the scrutiny before she finally grinned and admitted, “I might not have to patronize the establishment quite as often as I have been. I gave her my card while you were in the Ladies’ Room.”

“That’s great, Abby!” Therese laughed. “I knew something was up between you two.”

“Is it that obvious?” Abby asked, folding her napkin and placing it next to her plate.

“Well, you _did_ almost trample me in your attempt to get the seat with a view of the kitchen,” Therese laughed. “And you made sure she knew that we weren’t together as soon as possible.”

“And it worked, didn’t it?” Abby playfully tossed back as she dropped more cash than necessary on top of the check. “We have plans tonight,” she said as she wiggled her eyebrows. “She asked me to dinner.”

* * *

_Love, the poet said, is woman's whole existence. -Virginia Woolf_

Evening made its entrance in the remarkably quiet, golden way it imperceptibly steals over the day. After dinner they relaxed on the sofa, Carol's feet in Therese's lap. Carol had asked all about her morning at the store and Therese had filled her in over dinner. She saved the best for last though, a sweet digestif to a full day.

“So, you’ve been to that little French cafe with Abby before, right?” Therese inquired, looking up from her photography magazine.

“The new one? A few times,” Carol answered. 

“That’s where we ate lunch today,” Therese began.

“Did you enjoy the food?” Carol asked, leaning over to pull a baby book from a basket on the floor.

“I enjoyed the entertainment more,” Therese replied, a sparkle in her eye.

Carol scowled, confused, settling Rindy against her. “What entertainment?”

“Your best friend flirting with the owner.”

“Abby was flirting with Gen? What makes you think so?” Carol asked.

Therese laughed. “Well, the fact Abby gave her her number and Genevieve asked her out to dinner tonight.”

“Well, that explains why we’ve eaten there so many times in the last two weeks!” She shook her head. “Abigail.” She sighed loudly. “Telling me she craves crêpes every other day.” She laughed, but the actual delight upon her face that she felt for her friend was unmistakable. 

Therese flipped through the rest of her magazine while Carol read Rindy a book and then played with her daughter. Carol lifted Rindy up towards the ceiling, and brought her down suddenly, planting kisses on her neck and making her giggle. Rindy's small hands felt Carol's face before she would sail high in the air again.

"I think we should all take baths tonight," Carol said, out of the blue.

Therese looked up from her magazine, intrigued. 

"Rindy, sweet pea, you're first," Carol said, extricating her feet from Therese's lap and swinging them to the floor. 

"Can I help?" asked Therese. 

"Of course," Carol answered, mildly surprised by the request. She stood up and they all went into the bathroom. Carol pointed to Rindy's small tub standing in the corner.

"Go ahead and put some water in it. Just make sure it's warm and not hot. Use your wrist, like you do with her bottle to judge the temperature. You can add a little bath soap. It's in the purple bottle." Carol closed the toilet seat and sat down. She started to undress Rindy, dropping the dirty clothes in a pile on the floor and wrapping up the wet diaper and setting it on the corner of the counter to dispose of later.

Therese picked up the little tub and lowered it into the bathtub. She knelt on the plush bath mat next to Carol's large oval bathtub and adjusted the water temperature. She filled the miniature bathtub with a couple inches of warm water. The addition of a drop of soap formed bubbles that floated on the surface like meringue. 

"That sponge goes in the bottom so she doesn't slip," Carol said, motioning. Therese placed it in the water and pushed it down.

"Do you want to check the water temperature?" Therese asked.

"No. I trust you," Carol said, locking eyes with Therese. Both smiled. She handed Rindy over. Therese reached out and carefully took the naked baby. She lifted her up and slowly and gently set her down in the water. The little girl immediately began pounding the surface of the water with her palms, bubbles flying everywhere, including on Therese. Carol laughed as Therese wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I hope you didn't expect to stay dry."

"No, I don't think that's possible here," said Therese, not looking up. Carol could see the corner of Therese's mouth twitch slightly. 

"Is that so." It was more of a statement than a question from Carol. Therese avoided Carol's eyes. She leaned forward to gently wash Rindy’s chest and back with a washcloth, giving Carol a view of her from behind. _Damn, I love watching this woman,_ she thought.

"There are some toys in that mesh bag." Carol pointed to a bag hanging on the towel rack near Therese's head.

"Can I let go of her?" Therese asked.

"Yes, she can sit up by herself," Carol said. "Plus, with two of us here, she'll be fine." Carol leaned back and rested against the toilet's tank. She crossed her legs. 

Therese retrieved the mesh bag from behind her and opened the drawstring. "Maybe just a few," said Carol. Therese chose a purple octopus that squirted, a small white and teal boat, and the quintessential yellow rubber ducky. She closed the bag and hung it back up. Holding the toys in her outstretched palms, she offered them to Rindy. Rindy grabbed the duck with her right hand and put its head in her mouth. She wrapped her left hand around the octopus. Left with the boat, Therese floated it on the water in front of the baby, parting the snowy suds like Moses did the Red Sea.

"Does she know the octopus squirts?" Therese asked, watching Rindy play.

"No, but if you're willing to take that risk, you can show her," Carol dared. 

Therese took Rindy's hand that was holding the octopus and submerged both under water. She gently squeezed out the air, sending a stream of bubbles upward and allowing the octopus to inhale a bellyful of water. "Look," she instructed the little girl, raising both the tiny hand and the plastic cephalopod it held, and she squeezed. Water squirted out like ink, splashing Rindy and surprising the child. Rindy stopped moving, waiting for Therese to do it again. Therese took the tiny hand in hers and gently squeezed again. This time, Rindy laughed and slapped the octopus on the water's surface, splashing Therese in the face and chest.

"Ok, I guess we're even," laughed Therese. She flicked excess bubbles off her hand into the tub. Turning her head, she looked at Carol. Carol knew that the deep affection in her heart for these two was so profound that it could only be visible on her face.

"Hi," said Therese fondly, displaying her dimples.

"Hi, yourself," Carol said playfully. She slid off her majestic seat to sit on the bath mat next to Therese, gracefully folding her legs to the side. She took Therese's face in her hands. "You are absolutely adorable." She kissed her chastely on the lips. Therese blushed, a reaction Carol hoped she never lost. Rindy continued to splash and play, cooing happily as she did. 

"Do you want to wash her hair or should I?" Carol asked. 

"Will it hurt if I accidentally get shampoo in her eyes?" Therese asked, always so concerned.

"No, the shampoo is for babies, but I can show you how to do it so water doesn't get in her face," Carol said. "That's the shampoo over there." Carol pointed to the corner of the tub. Therese reached for the bottle and Carol picked up a plastic cup with a handle that looked similar to a large liquid measuring cup. She dipped it in the water, filling it up halfway. Holding her hand over Rindy's forehead, she tipped the little girl's head back as she poured the water over her hair. Keeping her hand in place, she poured a second scoop. Carol used the hand on the child's forehead to wipe the excess water towards the back of her head as Rindy shook her head and tried to get away. "Got it?" asked Carol.

"I think so," said Therese. She squirted a little bit of shampoo in her hand and rubbed it on Rindy's head. Using both hands, she worked up a lather, making sure to get every curl and gently rubbing her scalp. Rindy plunged the toy boat to the bottom of her bathtub and watched it pop up again and bob at the surface. Therese played with the girl’s soapy hair, giving Rindy a mini mohawk as Carol watched. 

"Ready to rinse?" Therese asked the little girl rhetorically. Turning on the tap, she found the perfect water temperature and Carol handed her the plastic scoop. Therese filled it halfway and placed her hand on Rindy's forehead, making sure to close any gaps. She tipped Rindy's head back and slowly poured the water over the little girl's hair. The shampoo lather dissipated into gray water. She filled the cup a second time and poured it again, making sure to get any remnants. However, she removed her hand from Rindy's forehead a fraction of a second too soon and Rindy looked down at the boat in her hand at the same time. Water cascaded down the little girl's face, making her sputter and cough. The cry that emanated from the child might have indicated much harsher happenings, but the shriek had its desired effect on Therese. She frantically tried to wipe the water away with her hand and looked at Carol with horror in her eyes.

"It's ok. You got this," she said calmly, handing Therese a dry towel. Therese took a corner of the towel and dried Rindy's face while she used her other hand to hold the back of the little girl's head. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to do that," she said quietly. Rindy continued to cry, while jerking her head from side to side to escape the towel, apparently enjoying her face being dried with the towel about as much as she did the water in her face. 

Carol watched, wanting to see Therese's reaction. She turned to Carol, a terrified look in her eyes. "Can I get her out?" 

"Yes," Carol said. Therese stood up and picked up Rindy, pressing the wet child to her chest. She put the towel around the little girl's back and then tried to wrap her in it as best as she could. "I'm so sorry," she repeated. She rocked the little girl gently against her. "Shhhh... It's ok now." Rindy quieted down, finding her thumb and letting her head rest on Therese’s shoulder.

 _It is ok,_ thought Carol, wrapping her arms around her knees. _It's more than ok._

* * *

_Change was incessant, and change perhaps would never cease. High battlements of thought, habits that had seemed as durable as stone, went down like shadows at the touch of another mind and left a naked sky and fresh stars twinkling in it. -Virginia Woolf_

With Rindy tucked in bed, Carol headed for the kitchen to pour drinks while Therese drew a bath for them. She set a new wash cloth on the edge of the tub and two plush towels on the counter next to the sink. Leaning over the edge of the tub to run the water, she adjusted it much hotter than she had for Rindy's bath. She added some bubble bath and the foam instantly began to build. As the tub filled, she stood up and discarded her clothing, folding each item and setting it next to the sink. Carefully, she stepped into the tub and lowered herself into the bubbles. When she thought the water was at a sufficient level to account for Carol, she turned if off. It felt divine. She let her head rest on the edge and closed her eyes.

The sound of ice cubes clinking caused her to open her eyes. Carol stood in the doorway holding two drinks and wearing nothing. Therese's mouth opened and her eyes widened as Carol moved toward her. She looked into Carol's gray eyes, expecting her to say something, but Carol only handed her one of the drinks. Carol leaned across Therese, her breasts coming purposely close to Therese's face and set her own drink down on the back ledge of the tub. _My God, she’s doing this on purpose,_ thought Therese. She tried to act normal, but the mere thought that this gorgeous woman wanted to be with her, and was so close in proximity, caused her heart to squeeze three beats in the space where one should have resided.

She watched as Carol opened the top drawer and pulled out some matches. Striking a match on the cover, she lit two candles on the counter and turned out the lights. The room was bathed in warm, flickering light. The smell of sulfur hit Therese's nostrils with something familiar and pleasant right behind it. Melon perhaps.

"Scoot," Carol instructed, motioning for Therese to pull her legs up. Therese obeyed and Carol gingerly stepped into the oval tub and sat down between Therese's legs and reclined back against her chest. Therese wrapped her legs around her and one arm over her shoulder, resting it on her chest. "Oh," Carol sighed, "this feels delightful." She picked up her glass and took a sip before depositing it on the ledge again and closing her eyes.

"What kind of drink is it?" asked Therese, taking a sip from her own glass.

"Just a vodka tonic."

Therese took another larger swallow and set the glass back down and turned her attention to Carol. 

She kissed Carol's temple, smoothing her hair back with her hand. Carol closed her eyes, but hummed approvingly. Therese continued, planting kisses in her hair and on her cheek. She let her arms encircle Carol, her hands spreading out over Carol's chest. Carol's breathing grew heavier and she shifted. She craned her head to look at Therese. Therese saw the gray eyes she loved so dearly and their mouths met simultaneously. Therese's hand supported Carol's head. Carol's hands found Therese's legs, running from knee to thigh and back again. Therese desperately wished that Carol’s reach extended further, but their position did not allow for it.

"Mmmm ..." Carol murmured, pulling away. "You taste good." She laid her head back again. Therese took another swallow of her drink. Setting it back down on the edge of the tub, she placed her hand, cold from the drink's condensation, on Carol's chest, just above the water line.

"Christ!" Carol spluttered, shocked at the change in temperature. "Can't two women take a bath in peace?" She playfully turned over, water sloshing, and put her hands on the edge of the tub on either side of Therese's head. “You little rascal.” 

Therese was smiling. Carol leaned in and nipped at Therese's lips, pulling away before Therese could kiss her back. Therese could feel their bodies meeting, and she wondered which was warmer, the junction of their lower bodies or the ambient temperature of the water. She knew which one was increasing in temperature. She put her hands on the sides of Carol's waist and slowly stroked them up and down. They just continued to look at each other. The atmosphere changed. 

Carol's hand caressed her cheek before tucking a dark strand of hair behind her ear. “What are you thinking?” Carol asked affectionately, her lips brushing along Therese’s jawline.

“I was thinking how different my life was two weeks ago,” Therese mused.

“It will be different a week from now and the week after that,” Carol said. She pulled back slightly to look Therese in the face. “Hopefully better, but it will be different. Things change. Nothing stays the same.” She must have seen the melancholy look on the younger woman's face, for she smiled and continued. “Luckily, you and I have the opportunity to change and grow with it, together.” She laced her fingers with Therese's and kissed the back of her hand. “Shall we get ready for bed?”

Therese smiled. “Yes.”

* * *

_Let us go back together, over the bridge, under the elm trees, to my room, where, with walls around us and red serge curtains drawn, we can shut out these distracting voices, scents and savors of lime trees, and other lives. - Virginia Woolf_

Once the candles were extinguished and the two women were wrapped in towels, they headed into the bedroom. Carol noticed Therese start to pull out her pajamas from her bag.

“You won't be needing those, darling.”

Therese stood up, clutching her towel, and dropped her pajamas on top of her bag. Carol sat down on the side of the bed.

“Come here.”

Therese moved slowly toward her, the ends of her hair still damp from where they had fallen into the bathwater. Carol loved the way the white towel and Therese's milky skin set off her dark hair and green eyes. Already she felt the effects of the woman before her, stronger and more intoxicating than the alcohol in her drink. She already wanted Therese and they weren't even touching, though the air between them condensed and crackled with the knowledge of what was to come.

Therese stopped in front of her, still clutching the top of her towel. Carol reached out and parted the lower half of the towel wrapped around the goddess in front of her. Using both hands, she pulled the towel gently toward her, forcing Therese to straddle her legs. Therese put her hands on Carol's shoulders.

“Am I too heavy?” Therese asked, her concern never masking the desire in her voice.

“No, you're perfect.” Carol's voice was husky, her control already strained. She slid her hands up Therese's thighs and wrapped them around behind her. She pulled Therese forward, flush against her. Therese gasped silently, but Carol noticed.

“Everything ok?” 

Therese nodded, eyes partially closed. Her fingertips started to travel over the bones and tendons of Carol's shoulders and neck, a blind person memorizing the Braille of her body. Carol’s hand found the back of Therese's neck, bringing mouths to the meeting they both longed for. As their kiss grew stronger, laced with need to touch and be touched, Therese moved against her. Carol devoured Therese's mouth with hers, yearning for more, wanting everything, impatience knocking on the door. Her fingers roamed through Therese's hair, trying to find a way to slow her racing mind, her breakneck heart. _I want this,_ Carol thought. _I need her._

And a cry shattered the silence of the night.

 _NO! No, no, no, no, no, NO! Not now. Please not now,_ voices in Carol’s head cried out. Carol sighed loudly and leaned her forehead against Therese's chest. Therese held her head there with one hand. The cry continued. She looked up at Therese apologetically. “I'm so sorry. Can you give me just a minute? I'll be right back.”

“You stay. I’ll take a turn. Finish your drink.” Therese extricated herself from Carol's lap and readjusted her towel as she exited the room. Carol flopped back on the bed, spread out, heart racing, breathing labored. She remained there, staring at the ceiling for a minute or two. The crying had stopped. She had expected Therese to bring Rindy to her, but they hadn't appeared. Carol pulled herself up and adjusted her own towel. She took a swig of her drink, watered down now from the melted ice, wiped the condensation remaining on her hand onto her towel and went to see what was going on.

As she came to the door of Rindy's bedroom, the light from the hallway illuminated Therese cradling Rindy near the window. She was softly rocking back and forth and humming Brahms’ Lullaby, with Rindy's small hand resting on her heart. Carol leaned against the doorway. The baby's eyes flickered to Carol but returned back to Therese, who was still humming softly. It might have been the most beautiful sound Carol had ever heard. She wondered who had sung it to Therese, if anyone. She knew Therese's childhood hadn't been ideal. 

Therese seemed to communicate silently with the baby in her arms, neither ever breaking their gaze. Therese continued to hum until Rindy's eyes began to blink slowly every couple seconds, fighting sleep. When her lids closed and remained closed, Carol quietly approached, wrapping her arms around Therese from behind and kissed her exposed neck. They stood like that for a few more minutes, until it was certain that Rindy was asleep. Therese softly kissed the baby on her forehead. She turned around slowly, the baby pressed to her chest and leaned forward to kiss her lover. Carol held her face in both hands and for once, they took their time. When Carol finally pulled back, she looked deep into Therese's eyes and saw her future, a verdant expanse stretching out before her. She leaned down and gingerly took her daughter in her arms, gently kissing her on her cheek before lowering her into the crib. Carol pulled a lightweight blanket over her baby and brushed her fingers over the golden curls before turning to Therese. Taking Therese's hand, she pulled it around her own waist and slipped her arm around Therese's shoulders. Arms around each other, they made their way back to the bedroom, quietly closing Rindy's door behind them. 

Entering the master bedroom, they passed the open bathroom door with the scent of the candle and bubble bath still lingering in the air. Carol stopped to tug both of their towels off and dropped them on the bathroom floor. She stooped and wrapped her arms low around Therese, snugly under her hips. Therese looped her arms around Carol's neck and Carol lifted her up. Therese’s feet found purchase, allowing her to lock her legs behind Carol. Therese held on as Carol carried her the last few steps to the bed.

Carol laid Therese down on the bed gently. Therese pushed herself up until her head rested on one of the pillows and Carol slid on top of her, bodies conforming to one another like only theirs could. Carol brushed Therese’s hair back, her hand lingering in the soft locks. Hands pressed on soft skin to close any gaps between them. Fingers traversed. Thoughts formed and disintegrated just as quickly. This kiss was unhurried and time paused, the hourglass of sand tipped upon its side. They both knew it would happen. There would be interruptions and responsibilities, but they would always make time for each other. They still had all night.


	20. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you. I've really enjoyed the last handful of months. The response was marvelous, unexpected, and meant so much to me. I plan on taking a break to finish up two other creative endeavors, but then I will be back with something new. 
> 
> I have to especially thank Ligeria who dutifully dotted my i's and crossed my t's for 20 chapters. Thank you for your lovely assistance. <3 <3
> 
> Until next time,  
> Pentimento <3

"Therese!" Dannie shouted, much too loud for work as he playfully slugged her in the upper arm. "You didn't tell me she was gorgeous!" He bent over her desk and picked up a photograph laying on top of some folders.  
  
Therese grinned, looking around to see if his outburst drew anyone's attention. Nobody seemed to care. "She is gorgeous," she admitted. She was glad that she wasn't the only one who thought so.  
  
"She's really beautiful. You two make quite the couple." He continued to look at the photograph in his hands as he leaned back against her desk. "And the baby is her daughter?" He held the photo Therese had taken of Carol and Rindy sleeping on her couch.  
  
"Yes. Rindy."  
  
She looked at the photo in his hands. Michelangelo himself couldn't have chiseled two more perfect angels from the finest block of Cararra marble. _My angels._ Porcelain skin, soft curls, sleeping peacefully.  
  
"Do you like kids?" he asked, his eyebrow raising. He laid the photograph back down on her desk.  
  
"Some kids," she said thoughtfully. "I like this little one very much. It's sort of like we're kindred spirits. Sometimes I just look in her eyes and it feels like we have a connection. It's hard to explain."  
  
"Yeeeeah," he said slowly, drawing out the word. "There's a name for that."  
  
"Really?" she asked, surprised.  
  
Dannie looked at her and simply said, "You’ll figure it out.

* * *

 

"Where'd you go?" Therese asked sleepily as Carol crawled back in bed.  
  
"I needed to feed Rindy and then I couldn't sleep, but I'm here now to try again," Carol answered, curling up next to her.  
  
Therese rolled over and sighed, exasperated. "You should have woken me. I could have helped you."  
  
"I didn't want to bother you. There's no point in both of us being awake," Carol said, pulling the sheet up over her shoulder.  
  
"Exactly. I would have put you to sleep and gone back to sleep myself. Besides," Therese rolled on top of Carol, their faces inches apart, "do you really think you're a bother?"  
  
Carol didn't answer, so Therese leaned in and kissed her. When she lifted her head, Carol asked, "So, you can just fall asleep when you want to?"  
  
"I guess so.” She shrugged. “Most of the time."  
  
"Must be nice."  
  
"Come here." Therese rolled on her back and pulled Carol into the crook of her arm. Carol rested her head on Therese's shoulder. Therese rubbed her back and stroked her hair in long smooth motions. "Are your eyes closed?"  
  
Carol grunted an affirmation.  
  
"Good. Let’s get you to sleep, my love." She kissed Carol's forehead.  
  
Therese stared at the ceiling and wondered how Carol could possibly think a few minutes of her time in the middle of the night could be a bother. Didn't Carol know she would willingly give her so much more?  
  
Then it occurred to Therese that she had much to divulge to Carol, all the hidden inclinations sealed in her heart. She needed to unlock the box and liberate the secret that she had been peeking at through the keyhole - the one she knew was there all along. The one she had kept warm. The one that had grown into something beautiful. She held the key in her hand. The time had come, and she knew the secret was no longer hers to keep. It was meant to be shared and it had grown too large to remain confined any longer. However, she also knew that once the box was opened, there was no way to close it again.  
  
Before Carol’s breathing became too regulated, she took a breath to calm herself and opened the box. “Carol?”

* * *

 

There it was again, the familiar wail that cut through the still-dim hours of the early morning. She lay face down and though she tried to make her eyelids open, they wouldn’t obey her mind that still floated between sleep and wake. The cry grew louder, agitated. Something soft and concave cupped the curve of her calf. The sole of a foot gently pushed her right leg toward the edge of the bed. Clearer now, her brain left the land of slumber and painstakingly tried to make its way in the waking world. Her eyes still refused to open. The wailing continued, methodical, unrelenting, an enemy unwilling to wave the white flag of surrender. The foot withdrew before it pressed against the back of her left calf and slowly pushed it toward the edge of the bed.  
  
“Your daughter’s crying,” mumbled the voice buried in the pillow.

The Sirens’ call of sleep beckoned her. “I don't mind if you get her.” She waited.

“I got her last time.” The barely discernible utterance emanated from the pillow.  
  
“I know, I know.” She sighed. “I’m going,” she replied, sliding her legs off the edge of the bed and feeling the cool air hit her bare skin. Finally, she pried her eyelids apart. She sat up and tossed her hair over her shoulder before she reached for her favorite robe.  
  
Standing up, she gracefully swung the robe around her and tied a haphazard bow as she observed her lover sprawled out beneath the covers in the dim light. As her bare feet padded toward the crying baby, she heard the muffled voice behind her throw out a single sentence:  
  
“Therese, you might as well bring Rindy in here, too.”

* * *

 

Therese finished snapping the last two snaps of the baby’s pajamas.  
  
“There. Are you happier with a clean diaper, sweet girl?”  
  
The baby smiled up at her as her arms and legs wildly jerked about in random fashion. Therese picked her up and swung the baby onto her hip, brushing the girl’s unruly brown curls down with her fingers. Making her way across the hall, Therese quietly pushed open the door to Rindy’s room. The little girl was on her stomach on top of her bed reading a book near the lamp on her nightstand. Her spindly legs crossed and uncrossed as her eyes followed her fingertip along words that were mouthed silently.  
  
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Therese said softly.  
  
The little girl looked up from her book and immediately popped up on her knees. “Mom, is today the day?” she asked excitedly, messy golden curls obscuring her eyes before she habitually brushed them back with a swipe of her hand.  
  
“Today is the day,” Therese answered, amused by Rindy’s exuberance.  
  
Rindy bounded off the bed and skipped over to her closet where a lacy white dress with a pale green ribbon around the waist hung from a hanger on its knob. She gently fingered the ruffles of lace as she looked up at Therese and the baby. “And I get to wear my new dress today?”  
  
“Yes, you get to wear your new dress today,” Therese answered, taking pleasure in the little girl before her.  
  
“And I get to sprinkle flowers today?” Rindy asked, as if all these things being true was too unbelievable.  
  
“You get to sprinkle flowers today,” Therese said, smiling. “Do you want to come cuddle with us for a little bit?”  
  
“Can I bring my book?” Rindy asked as she bounded back to the bed as only a four year-old can.  
  
“Sure. What are you reading?” Therese asked, shifting the baby to her other hip.  
  
“ _Are You My Mothe_ r,” the little girl answered, holding it up for her to see.  
  
Therese made her way back down the hallway, a baby on one hip and her hand guiding the back of the head of the little girl slightly in front of her. At the doorway to the bedroom, Rindy rushed forward and jumped into the middle of the bed where Carol was now sitting up wearing her robe. She had turned on a lamp to combat the darkness of the early morning.  
  
“Mama! Today's the day!”  
  
“Good morning, sweet pea,” Carol said, wrapping her arms around her daughter for a hug. “I know it is. I’m excited. Are you excited?”  
  
“Yes,” Rindy answered, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. “I can't wait to wear my new dress and sprinkle flowers.”  
  
Therese climbed back into her side of the bed, propping her pillow against the headboard and leaning against it. Carol reached for the baby and Therese gave Carol the pajama-clad infant. She kissed the baby and settled the little girl in her lap before she combed her fingers through the mess of brown curls like Therese had attempted to do minutes before.  
  
“Sprinkling flowers is very special. Thank you for deciding to do it,” Carol said to her daughter. “It will be easy. When you hear the music, just walk down the aisle with your basket and sprinkle the flower petals on the floor, just like we practiced yesterday.”  
  
“You mean when she hears Mendelssohn.” Therese eyed her mischievously.  
  
“No, when she hears Pachelbel,” Carol argued. She searched for the right words. “Mendelssohn is just too … obvious for the processional. _Pachelbel’s Canon_ is classier.”  
  
“And why does it need to be classy, not that _The Wedding March_ isn't?” Therese asked. “I think Mendelssohn is the epitome of a wedding song. Few songs bring people to their feet faster.”  
  
“Pachelbel.” Carol stood her ground.  
  
“Mendelssohn,” Therese said more forcefully, leaning toward Carol.  
  
“Pachelbel,” Carol insisted, leaning forward and kissing her with a grin. “Good morning.”  
  
“Good morning.” Therese leaned back with an amused smile.  
  
“Mom, will you make my hair curly?” Rindy had been left out of the wedding conversation long enough.  
  
“Your hair is already curly, baby,” Therese answered.  
  
“Special curls, like you do,” the four year-old pleaded.  
  
“Yes. Should we use a pretty barrette, too?” Therese raised her eyebrows at her daughter.  
  
“Yes. When do we get to go?” asked Rindy, looking up from her book.  
  
“Far too soon,” Therese answered, getting up and heading toward the kitchen. “I’m going to go make pancakes.”  
  
“I’ll help you,” Rindy called, discarding the book at the end of the bed and scampering after her.

* * *

 

Carol pulled her car into a parking space near the front of the historic inn. They were some of the first few people here, just as planned. Only a handful of cars were scattered about.  
  
“I’ll unload the kids and you can get all your stuff,” Carol told Therese as they simultaneously released seat belts and opened their doors.  
  
As she opened the back door, she wasn’t surprised to find that the littlest one was sleeping. She squeezed the release on the car carrier and popped it off the car seat. She would let the baby sleep for now.  
  
“Do you need help?” Carol asked her daughter, noticing that Rindy was reading a book instead of getting out of the car.  
  
“No, I can do it myself,” Rindy answered, not looking up.  
  
“Then let’s get go, shall we? You can bring your book with you,” Carol gently instructed the young girl.  
  
Rindy tucked her index finger in the page where she was reading and reached down and unbuckled herself from her car seat. Shrugging out of her straps, she reached for the door handle.  
  
“I’m not wearing shoes,” she said, hesitating.  
  
“Ok.” Carol shut the door and walked around the back of the car where she touched Therese gently on her lower back through her tuxedo jacket. Therese turned her head and smiled. Carol set the baby carrier down next to the car and opened the door.  
  
“And why aren’t you wearing shoes?” Carol asked the little girl.  
  
“I took them off,” Rindy answered innocently.  
  
“I see that much,” Carol replied. Reaching down she helped her daughter slide her feet into her sandals.  
  
Standing up, Carol offered the little girl a hand as she descended from the car, her perfect blonde bottle curls bouncing. Therese had done Rindy’s hair, as promised, and a barrette near the top of her head held back the hair from her face.  
  
“Try to keep your dress clean!” Carol called out as Rindy beelined for the entrance to greet a familiar face.  
  
“I’ll come back for my dress,” Carol told Therese. “Just grab your stuff. I’m going to see if Dannie is here already.”  
  
“He said he would get here early to make sure he had everything he needed,” Therese said, her head still buried in the back of the car.  
  
“Well, he’s a star,” Carol said, picking up the car carrier. “I can’t believe he offered to do this for us and won’t let us pay him.”  
  
Therese zipped up a bag and slung it over her shoulder as she closed the back of the car. She picked up two other large bags she had set on the ground. “Shall we?”  
  
“Let’s do this,” Carol said, meeting her gaze and smiling. She leaned in between all the bags Therese carried to kiss her. It was nothing but a peck on the lips, but it elicited a charming, dimpled grin.

* * *

 

Therese waited near the altar, shifting her weight imperceptibly side to side in her shiny tuxedo shoes. Her long dark hair was done in an elaborate ponytail curving its way down her neck and back, every strand secured in place.  
  
She looked at all the eager, happy faces in front of her on both sides of the aisle. The crowd of 40-50 people waited impatiently, many of them glancing back occasionally to the double doors at the back of the room. The time was near.  
  
She wondered what Carol would look like. She had seen the dress, but she hadn’t seen it on Carol. While Therese had been busy with her own responsibilities the last hour or so, Carol had been getting ready, getting her makeup done, and having her hair styled. She glanced at the front row and double-checked that the book she had left to keep Rindy entertained was still laying on the seat. It was. _One less thing to worry about_ , she told herself.  
  
The three-piece string ensemble sitting to the left of her received their cue. With a lifting of bows and intake of breath they let loose the first chords of _Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major._ She mentally shook her head and sighed quietly upon hearing the song. It sent a flurry of activity into the crowd, most of them turning in their seats and craning their necks. Therese noticed all the cameras and cell phones that had appeared.  
  
The double set of doors at the end of the aisle slowly swung open and Therese got ready and held her breath as murmurs ran through the seated crowd. The mother of the bride appeared in a light green dress and matching hat. Smiling, she slowly walked down the aisle. Therese moved a bit more into the aisle to better position herself. The woman took her seat in the front row to the left of the aisle.  
  
Another woman of similar age followed. Again, she smiled and nodded as she made her way to the front. Just before turning and taking a seat to the right of the aisle, the second woman looked directly at Therese and she smiled widely, a moment that would be captured forever.  
  
And then it happened. The musicians played on, but silence rung in her ears as the empty space flanked by the double doors was suddenly occupied by Carol.  
  
Therese unexpectedly felt the oxygen drawn from the room. The collar of her shirt was inexplicably too tight. Carol was pure radiance. The aura about her emitted not only her stunning beauty, but the joy within her. Her hair was down, a look Therese hadn't anticipated. The golden locks fell loosely and curled under as they reached her shoulders. The straps of her knee-length dark green dress ran over alabaster shoulders and collarbone.  
  
Slowly she walked down the aisle - step, together, step. Time stilled in laborious slow motion, an eternity existed between every time Carol’s high heels left the carpeted aisle and met it again. Therese stood mesmerized for a split second. Carol’s gray eyes never wandered from the woman in front of her. Smiling, Carol neared her and mouthed one word to Therese:

_Pachelbel._

Smiling, the wedding photographer nodded in meek surrender. She had lost the bet, a bet she was all too willing to lose. She raised her camera, one hand on the body, the other hand on the massive lens. Adjusting the focus, she took a few more photos of the woman she loved. Carol turned right and took her place standing at the front.  
  
Turning her focus back to the double doors at the opposite end of the room, Therese saw the first bride step into sight. Standing stationary for a moment, Abby stood proud in her jet black tux, a simple ivory rose on her lapel. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a sleek, sophisticated chignon.  
  
As Abby took her place next to Carol, Therese captured the look shared by the best friends. History, understanding, and love expressed themselves in just a simple shared smile. Therese had watched how lingering guilt that had tormented Carol over her ill-fated relationship with Abby had transformed into unadulterated happiness as Carol witnessed her best friend discover this beautifully reciprocated love that she so deserved.  
  
As Genevieve’s sister made her way down the aisle next, Therese noticed her second shooter in place at the back. Dannie wore his camera with its large lens on a strap across his chest. _Good, that means the baby is sleeping_ , thought Therese. Dannie had volunteered to split his time babysitting his god daughter and shooting additional photos for Therese. Like Dannie, Therese dropped to one knee, grateful for the flexibility a tux afforded over a dress in situations such as this.  
  
Glancing quickly at Carol, Therese saw Carol's intake of breath, the pride on her face, and the absolute love she had for their daughter when Rindy with her basket of rose petals stepped into view. Bringing her attention back to her duties, Therese zoomed in and focused on the little girl as she reached her hand into her basket before hurling a fistful of white petals onto the carpet in front of her like she was pitching a fastball.

 _So much for ‘sprinkling',_ Therese mused as the child flung handfuls of flowers with such force it elicited chuckles from the crowd. Despite the method the petals ended up on the walkway, the smile on her face proved that the small blonde girl was indeed enjoying this time she had looked so expectantly toward.

Nearing the front, Rindy got a big wink and grin from her Aunt Abby before Carol held out a hand for her daughter to join her. Ever the professional, Therese refrained from gazing ridiculously at the women she loved and composed what she considered to be a perfect shot, a photo so endearing that she couldn't wait to develop it the next day.

Last, but certainly not least, Genevieve came into view with her long white dress and cascading bouquet. And it was Therese who captured on film the very moment Abby first saw her lovely bride on their wedding day.

* * *

 

There comes a time during a wedding reception when the general populus releases their collective breaths. The months of planning and anticipation have rounded to a close only to usher in a new beginning. Expectations for the momentous day have have either been met or have been left by the wayside. Rings have been exchanged, cake has been sliced, ties and shoes cast to the side long ago. Alcohol has flowed freely, opening people up in ways only being at a wedding does. Cameras have been discarded in lieu of dancing. Some of the youngest children have exhausted even their seemingly endless energy supplies and lie strewn about on laps and chairs like the few remaining dirty dishes and empty glassware littering the cloth tablecloths.  
  
However, Carol held her youngest daughter on the dance floor and spun her around. The child had slept too much throughout the day and was fully awake now. Barefoot now late into the evening, Carol dipped the baby and then glanced over to Genevieve in her white gown twirling Rindy about in her own little white dress. Both of their curls spun outward with each twist, the smiles on their faces mirroring each other. As the song wound to a close, Carol felt a tap on her shoulder.  
  
“Mind if I cut in?” Abby stood there in her tux, the tie hanging loosely down the front of her tuxedo shirt.  
  
“Sure, let me hand the baby to someone.” Carol glanced over toward the tables and chairs where a few people lounged about contentedly, watching the remainder of the dancers.  
  
“Not you, you nitwit. I want to dance with my namesake,” Abby said sweetly to the child as she lifted the baby girl from Carol’s arms. “Hello, Abigail. I haven’t seen you all day.”  
  
“I’ll dance with you.” From behind Carol came the one voice in the entire world that could make her heart race uncontrollably, her stomach flutter nervously.  
  
She slowly turned around as the velvety voice of Etta James poured through the sound system.  
  
_At last my love has come along_  
_My lonely days are over_  
_And life is like a song_  
  
An arm slid around a neck. An arm pulled a waist closer. Fingers laced together and then rested between their chests. Words were extraneous. Their eyes had silently communicated for them for some time now, although what was contained in their hearts at that moment needed no vehicle.  
  
_At last the skies above are blue_  
_My heart was wrapped up in clover_  
_The night I looked at you_  
  
Next to them, Abby and Gen danced closely with each other holding Abigail between them. Past them, Rindy had been lifted to eye level to spend the song laughing with Dannie, her bare feet hanging limply as he sang to her in dramatic fashion. Both Carol and Therese were overwhelmed by the cumulative joy this day had rained down upon them and those close to them.  
  
And as their eyes found each other again and they pulled even closer together, the room dissolved to contain only the two women, the lyrics that spoke to their souls, the suspended moment in time so remarkable that one remembers it at the furthest edge of one’s life.  
  
_I found a dream, that I could speak to_  
_A dream that I can call my own_  
_I found a thrill to rest my cheek to_  
_A thrill that I have never known_  
  
_You smiled, you smiled_  
_Oh and then the spell was cast_  
_And here we are in heaven_  
_For you are mine_  
  
_At last_

* * *

  
  
_What is the meaning of life? That was all - a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one. - Virginia Woolf_


End file.
